To think I'm not lazy, I just need a lot more sleep than the average person?

[isthisnormalll]

I sleep around 7.5-8 hours on weekdays, and I get up at the last possible moment at 8:30am, so not even ridiculously early. But on weekends I need at least one of the days to be a lie in otherwise I am exhausted. Today I slept 12 hours, and woke up at 12:30pm. When I have time off work, I will sleep naturally 10-12 hours a night everyday - even for weeks on end. On holidays with other people I have sometimes been close to tears because the sleep is not enough despite us all getting back to the hotel the same time and waking up at the same time.

I have always been like this, I don't have children (everyone tells me I'll change if I have children and get used to having no sleep). No health conditions, no sleep apnoea, etc.

AIBU to think that some people do genuinely need more sleep than others?

Why do you go to bed so late?

People don’t really vary in their sleep needs that much.

OP, how is your general and mental health? And what time do you usually go to sleep?

Some people definitely need more sleep than others. I have a medical condition and one of the symptoms is fatigue. I’m knackered all day every day and would sleep for a week if I could

Do you feel good when you wake up? My DP seems to need lots of sleep (always has apparently) but he still feels tired when he wakes up which I think means he isn't necessarily getting quality sleep. I also think he has apnoea but that's another story!

I don't have kids and I sleep 6 hours a night so I don't think that has anything to do with it. I go to bed around 1-2am. I'm self-employed so I can keep whatever hours I like.

I haven't slept that much since I was a teenager, even as a university student after a big night out I couldn't stay in bed 12 hours straight.

It could be that you naturally sleep more, but all the people I know who are 25+ and sleep that much have some kind of fatigue/chronic condition or a mental health issue, most commonly depression.

I don't think you're lazy but I do think something is wrong somewhere.

The 8 hours sleep thing is based on men (as per 99% of all research and advice). It is now understood women need 10h per night.

We are all different, and if the average is 8 hours or so and there are people who need a lot less (famously Thatcher) there are people who need more too.

I need around 9 hours a night and have managed to get into a pattern now, although it’s a pain to wake up early if I haven’t been able to get to bed at the usual time.

Agree with a PP that blood test might be a good idea. Having periods can cause less than optimum iron levels, and many of us are vit D deficient in winter.

When I hated my job ( didn't realise how much as I'd become used to it ) I slept loads. I was put as a happy accident on a much nicer team and now I sleep a third less I'd say than I did before and wakenip naturally. Could there be something in your life draining you that you don't realise Op? I had such a toxic manager before I'd often cope with the stress of the day by sleeping it off.

My aunt only needed four to five hours sleep (like not insomnia she just didn't need it). Worked full time her whole life (so not a sedentary life) but instead of fighting it said she just thought why lie in bed so just got up super early and read. She lived to 90. So guess it varies and you are on the opposite end!

I was like you until I had kids, would wake up as late as possible, get ready in five minutes. Now I’m probably up two hours before I used to get up and on broken sleep (youngest still doesn’t sleep through). You just adapt.

I do think some people like sleep more than others but I don’t think you need it in the way you think you do, it’s just the level of sleep you have got used to. You could manage fine with less if you had to, you just don’t have a reason to.

I have always slept alot since childhood. Could happily sleep for 12 hours and have a nap in the day.
Suspected ND here and i always need more sleep when my MH is not great.

You go to bed really late for someone who needs sleep.

I used to be like that but then children re-wired me

Just adding myself to the Sleeping Beauties on this thread - well, I'm great at the sleeping part anyway 😂 Ten hours a day in a perfect world. While working, like you I slept 6-8 hours during the week and then around 14 hours at the weekend.

Bad news, kids - I'm now 70 and still need ten hours!

To make matters even less convenient, I've always had a messed-up circadian rhythm: my body seems to think a day should be about 30 hours, so it's difficult to establish any kind of socially acceptable sleep cycle. Now I don't have to fit in, I just go with it and sleep at increasingly weird times until it works back round again 🤷‍♀️

I’ve always been like this too - hated sleepovers as a kid as I wouldn’t get good sleep and would be expected to get up at 6 to watch cartoons and Going Live. Pre pandemic when I was working full time in the office I’d often go to bed at 8:30 so I could get enough sleep for the next day. I now WFH and it works so much better - I get up at 9 and feel human most of the time. It is hurtful when people assume you’re lazy - we’re all different! I’m also ND, I think my brain just needs the time to destress.

I work 4 days a week and Sunday-Thursday I get by on between 6-8 hours per night but come the weekend I easily sleep 10+ hours per night. I have two kids who are all grown up and sleep more than me now but those baby days were a killer and thankfully DH is an early bird because I really struggle if my sleep deficit gets too big. Former shift worker as well which really messes your circadian rhythms up.

I do feel a lot of judgement from early birds and up and at em types but it’s not like I’m pretending to be asleep, if I don’t wake up naturally clearly my body needs it!

I think it's a combination of individual sleep need and a person's tolerance of discomfort/exhaustion.

Just because a parent with small children can seem to be functioning on 4 hours broken, doesn't mean they only need that. Equally, your having 12 hours outright isn't because you need that. Your body is using what it's given.

Naturally I'd sleep for about 8-9 hours. Due to work and then kinda, it's always been very rare that I get this much, usually it's more like 4-6, often broken. Sometimes less. I'm NOT fine on this. My immune system is rubbish, I'm emotional, run down and often feel awful. Sometimes I don't know if I'm ill or just exhausted. But I don't have a choice, so carry on.

It's not that I need less, but I survive on less than my body needs. You don't need to do this, so you don't. Good for you. If you do decide to have kids though, you'll need to just put up with being tired. Kids don't care about how tired you are.

I usually go to bed at 11, but usually can't fall asleep until at least 00:30. Maybe I'll try going to bed earlier and getting up earlier to see if that helps.

Weirdly I used to work nightshifts and it worked really well for me, I'd sleep 9am to 6pm. I'd feel so well rested.

I'm with OP, I sleep 11-13 hours on a weekend and in the holidays to make up for my 9hour nights in the week; 10pm-7am.
I've always needed more sleep.
Night feeds when DS was little nearly killed me, I was so seriously ill with PND triggered by lack of sleep.

Now my DS (17) is a big sleeper too. 😁

I am about the same as you OP if not even more!

Weekdays, in bed about 9-9.30, asleep by 11 latest (I tend to watch an old comedy or something, I just like the warmth & comfort of early bed) and I struggle to get up at 8.30am for work. That's 9.5 hours of sleep.

I have all my life struggled to get up in the mornings. I just really struggle to get out of bed!

Weekends I go to bed roughly the same time. I don't set my alarm clock and wake up about 9.30-10 - so that's 10.5-11 hours of sleep.

I just don't have a lot of energy in life. I'm always borderline anaemic (I got declined to give blood 3 times so banned for life haha) but it's never 'clinical'. I think some of it is to do with that.

Mainly, I just need my sleep! Any less and I'm emotional, ratty, easily short with people, less resilient and stressed out. I feel I have a 'small' life as there's not a lot I can do without getting exhausted, but I've learned to be happier overall by doing less.

I also need to sleep for about 12 hours. Sometimes more.

OP try going to bed with a book at 9pm for a couple of nights. Aim to stop reading around 10-10:30 and see if you get to sleep earlier.

Fuck off