What age is appropriate?

[Conflagration85]

What age would you say is appropriate for kids to have games such as call of duty etc?

I'm childless but OH has an 8 year old son and I'm trying to work out if I'm just out dated in my opinions.

Ultimately I think that you need to decide whether you want to make this your responsibility, and then how far you can go in getting him to parent properly. Asking, supporting, encouraging him to do parenting courses talk to school about suitability etc

Or whether you, very understandably, say that you don't want to get involved and walk away.

I can't say that I disagree with any point you have made!

My 10yo nephew has been playing COD and GTA for a few years, his behaviour is awful. He told my 4yo to "fuck off you ugly fat bitch" last week.

Do you work in a school? I'm a DSL and I am very confident that if any of my staff became aware an 8 yo was playing an 18 rated game they would report it to me. I'd be extremely surprised and disappointed if they didn't tbh, but then as a LT we have worked hard to instill a strong safeguarding culture. KCSIE makes it very clear that this kind of thing is a sign of neglect and not something to be ignored, so this should have been covered in your CP training.

I've generally allowed mine to play games once they're within 3 years of the rating. Still don't have any COD or Modern Warfare, GTA stuff yet but plenty of Ark Survival/ monster hunter which are still gross.

Seasoned gamer here and parent of gamers.

Stick to PEGI ratings. Then there are no arguments. Other parents show inappropriate content imo. It won't harm your child's mental health to wait but might hurt if you go too soon.

Only exception I have is online games when you play yourself. I play a well-known mmo with my children, but played myself before then too. Its PEGI rating is higher due to potential interactions with other players, but they can't see those due to in-game child restrictions.

But if you're unsure, just outsource the decision and stick to PEGI.

You raise a good point.
I never wanted kids because I know the sheer level of ball ache, patience and commitment it takes to do it properly (and I feel that a lot of people don't really consider that) and here I am, parenting a parent.

Eesh.

That sounds really hard, OP and not at all fair on you. I don't want to make assumptions but it's hard to imagine someone who can't be arsed or doesn't know how to parent effectively being a good partner..is he good to you? Are you happy in the relationship? I think in your shoes I would find it hard to respect him.

Yep my son told his nursery he had watched 'Venom' when he was 4. They noted it (he hadn't watched it, saw it advertised on a bus and decided to tell everyone he had because he 'wanted to see it')

My son had COD at 14. But he played it before, at friend's houses. I didn't have any age limits after 14, but I refused to buy GTA at any age as I don't agree with it. My son still did have that though, he bought it himself.

Hmm difficult question really...
I believe he does care and is just a bit clueless compared to the can't be arsed option.
He is a soft, kind, caring sweetheart...but his critical thinking and common sense are often entirely up shit creek! 😂

My personal issue isn’t so much with the games themselves but with the communication side of gaming. My DS (13yr) has played COD for a while but I monitor him, the PlayStation is in the living room (not his bedroom) and when younger he wasn’t allowed to play online.

Roblox is a cesspit of a game and yet many children 8yr and younger play it and because of its childish blocky graphics parents often don’t realise the risks.

As a gamer myself I realise I have a slightly different approach to many. But I think it has a lot to do with the maturity of the child rather than specific content in the game. When you analyse games there are very few that aren’t built around “good v evil” and having to “kill” the baddies. Even in the LEGO games you are able to run people over in cars - this probably isn’t very morally right either? (Although admittedly there is no gore).

I became quickly very aware that I was unable to police what games DS came into contact with when at his friends houses. So now I try to focus on teaching my DS how to be safe online and to have a healthy relationship with gaming rather than what he is actually playing.

note*. At 8 yrs DS was mostly playing the Lego games. I also allowed him to play the non-lethal learning section of Assassins Creed Origins due to his fascination with history. His gaming was always monitored at that age.

kids hear all types of language in the playground - i don't think there's any swearwords that i've not heard in the playground of primary school. I've seen and heard messages left on games, video calls, snapchat videos from kids from 7 upwards, not just from boys, of every swear word imaginable.

If you think kids at 8 don't hear these things daily, honestly you need to think again.

Many years ago, when I heard three 8 year old boys talking about GTA, I called each one of their parents and explained that they shouldn't be playing it. And then made a note of it.

My 12 year old has only been allowed Fortnite in the last year, and won't be allowed COD or GTA for a long while yet. He doesn't even ask because he knows why.

He's a shit Dad.

Extremely inappropriate for an 8 year old, and not the norm. You can always tell the odd child in dc1's year who is exposed to these sorts of things, because the teacher calls parents saying "insert name" has told another dc he wants to murder him. YANBU.

'Roblox is a cesspit of a game and yet many children 8yr and younger play it and because of its childish blocky graphics parents often don’t realise the risks.'

I agree, although alot of this is to do with not only the creators, but also ignorance on the parents part. You can lock it down, control interactions, enable parental restrictions, remove the chat function etc, and make it a lot safer.

Not ok at 8.

Would still raise an eyebrow at 12.

Possibly ok at 15/16.

It's an 18+.

• kids hear all types of language in the playground - i don't think there's any swearwords that i've not heard in the playground of primary school. I've seen and heard messages left on games, video calls, snapchat videos from kids from 7 upwards, not just from boys, of every swear word imaginable.

If you think kids at 8 don't hear these things daily, honestly you need to think again.*

And why do you think that is?

My 8yo isn't allowed anything with player to player communication so even things like minecraft, he only plays in single player. I'm OK with him having most 12 rated single player games, though he still needs to ask before installing so I can read through any warnings. I would consider some 15's (eg jurassic world), but most I'd say no, and even those I agree to I'd only let him play with an adult, with the understanding that we will turn it of if we think it's getting to much. I wouldn't allow an 18 under any condition before secondary school.

😮

COD is not a child's game
It has a high age rating for a reason.

At my school when we hear of children playing these games when so young it is reported in our safeguarding systems.