Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

to think that blokes could babysit their own children for a night?

37 replies

whaddyathink · 03/05/2008 07:27

I have namechanged though I don't honestly know why.... anyhoo

group of people from church. I have coffee etc with a couple of the women and they are friends, and recently a group of women went to the cinema together

then the blokes formed some kind of macho drinking club where they get together to watch rugby/ play Wii/ drink/ shout heartily at each other

all fine, they go out for a night, have fun

well last night we (the girls - can I just point out that I hate same-sex gatherings for the sake of them but hey, it was a night out) had an evening planned at one of the women's houses. When I got there I found out that the blokes had all gone round for a film night at one of their houses. Dh had not been invited due to some cock-up

but he couldn't have gone anyway because I was out! All these blokes have kids, so apart from the woman whose house we were in, and the bloke who was hosting the film night, every other couple had to get a bloody babysitter in order for them to go out to different places! Why arrange a night on the same night ffs?

I can't see the point - if I get a babysitter I want to go out with dh, I can't see payng to leave the kids with someone else just because blokes get lonely minding the kids on their own. What is this about?

if this happens again I don't know what to do. Do I get a babysitter - my mother probably. She is very busy and we haven't been out as a couple for about two months

or do we decide who goes, and moan like thunder when we get there?

AIBU?

OP posts:

PersephoneSnape · 03/05/2008 07:42

it isn't 'babysitting' when it's your own child! can't they arrange that they have blokes one weekend, then have some couple time, either at home, or get a baby sitter then ladies, then couple time. lack of family responsibility if you ask me.

Nemoandthefishes · 03/05/2008 07:45

YANBU I agree with you that they could have arranged stuff on different nights..hate the idea of Fathers 'babysitting' their own children like its a chore they should be rewarded for.

madmuggle · 03/05/2008 08:13

I told my ex that if he ever used the word 'babysitting' in reference to his own children again he would be looking for his testicles with a magnifying glass as they'd've been shredded and scattered.

posieflump · 03/05/2008 08:20

they might not have paid anyone though, tey might all have had family nearby who came round

BerkshireBella · 03/05/2008 08:22

I wouldn't want to use a sitter unless absolutely necessary.... DH looks after dd when I'm not there and loves it. I would be so upset if he said he'd rather leave her with a stranger so he could have the same night off! And quite right, it is definitely not "babysitting" when it is your own child, it is the secondary carer caring for the child when the primary carer is unavailable!

GoodGollyMissMolly · 03/05/2008 08:22

When DD was about 10 weeks old I went out for a drink and meal with some work friends and one of them said to me;

Her- Where's DD?'
Me- At home with her dad.
Her- Oh, how nice of him to babysit for you'.
Me- He cannot babysit, it is not a chore, he is as responsible as I am for her.

She hasn't spoken to me since

But no YANBU, I like PersephoneSnape's idea

berolina · 03/05/2008 08:23

YABU - but only beacuse the word 'babysitting' is entirely inappropriate to refer to a father looking after his children.

It does sound a bit odd.

kama · 03/05/2008 08:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

whaddyathink · 03/05/2008 08:44

ok babysit was the wrong word - 'sit in the house and just watch tv on their own' would have been more appropriate

i just cannot justify a babysitter so we can both go to two different places, if it can be avoided. I just cannot see why they cannot be alone for a night. Whenever they have men's evenings, the women don't deliberately schedule somethign on the same night

OP posts:

Original poster

whaddyathink · 03/05/2008 08:45

no kama the kids didn't go

OP posts:

FluffyMummy123 · 03/05/2008 08:47

Message withdrawn

Original poster

whaddyathink · 03/05/2008 08:53

cod they are the worst. Honestly. It is the vicar who has organised this

OP posts:

FluffyMummy123 · 03/05/2008 08:54

Message withdrawn

IndigoMoon · 03/05/2008 09:03

its not babysitting when its your own child. i get that a lot cos i do am dram so for a night a week i rehearse and for two weeks a year i do a show which means i am out everynight around six.

the amount of people who ask me who is babusitting and i always answer....... dh!!!! they are his kids as well and just as much his responsibility. personally i think its good for him, the kids love him and he is great with them. we know other dads who have palpitations at the thought of looking after their kids cos they dont know what to do.

SlartyBartFast · 03/05/2008 09:06

you shoudl say "no one is baby sitting"

they are at home with their dad, why would they need a baby sitter?

alfiesbabe · 03/05/2008 09:55

I completely agree that the term 'babysitting' is wrong. Both parents have equal responsibility for parenting!! In principle there's nothing wrong with both going out and booking a babysitter either. I loved having a babysitter when I was small, and my kids did too. If they're real tinies and in bed then it makes very little difference anyway. When they're a bit older and stay up for a while, it can be an enormous treat if you get the right person - an opportunity for fun and games. The only issue here is communication. If you and your DH don't want to go our separately on the same night, then don't do it. Up to everyone else if they want to.

Original poster

whaddyathink · 03/05/2008 11:44

NO STOP IT THE THREAD IS NOT ABOUT BABYSITTING I JUST USED THE WRONG WORD OK

SHEEESH

OP posts:

alfiesbabe · 03/05/2008 11:51

well you won't make that mistake again!! As I say, talk it through with your DH. If you both have an event on the same night, book a babysitter, if you both want to go. A babysitter doesnt have to be 'second best'. Pick a good one and your kids will probably see it as a treat!! It shouldnt matter what your friends do or don't do.

alfiesbabe · 03/05/2008 11:51

Saturn74 · 03/05/2008 11:53

about the babysitting comment......

Original poster

whaddyathink · 03/05/2008 12:00

no my kids would not see it as a treat . And why should I pay for someone just because a few blokes can't stand the concept of their wives having more fun than them?

I felt like I had wandered into the pages of The Women's Room

OP posts:

alfiesbabe · 03/05/2008 12:31

If your kids aren't happy with babysitters, then don't leave them. Simple. BTW, why is it you paying a babysitter - it's a joint responsibility. You can both contribute!! Your comment about 'a few blokes can't stand the concept of their wives having more fun than them?' is really the issue though isnt it? You clearly have a problem with the men wanting to go out too !!

Original poster

whaddyathink · 03/05/2008 13:12

all our finances are joint: i/we, it makes no difference.

I'm not against the blokes having fun; just on a different night. They already have nights out as I have already said. The women don't book things on nights that the blokes get together, we just stay at home. It just seems like 'Oooh, my wife is going out and having fun, I can't stay in on my own, we'll have to have a boys' night'

OP posts:

Original poster

whaddyathink · 03/05/2008 13:13

my dh agrees with me btw

OP posts:

sarah293 · 03/05/2008 13:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread