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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Criminal Friends!

98 replies

CanWeGoForAWalk · 02/01/2025 18:53

Hello

(Name changed)

My Husbands best friend has recently been released from prison, and I am very concerned about the amount of time they are spending together. I have taken into consideration that they are childhood friends and they haven’t seen one another for a while, but the guy in question is not the kind of company anyone would want to keep.

The majority of his friends are criminals or currently in prison, I don’t understand who would want to keep friends like that.

Now, I believe my Husband is involving himself in illegal activities, which he doesn’t need to be, because last year was a great year for him financially.

I have tried to speak to him about the situation, and he has made me feel like I am in the wrong.

Please bear in mind that we have three children together, and I’m not used to being home alone with them.

Is it just me or AIBU?

OP posts:
Witchcraftandhokum · 02/01/2025 18:55

This is a weirdly written post.

Pninnette · 02/01/2025 19:04

If all your DH’s friends are criminals, surely this isn’t new?

Original poster
CanWeGoForAWalk · 02/01/2025 19:05

Witchcraftandhokum · 02/01/2025 18:55

This is a weirdly written post.

That has no relevance to me, I don’t understand why you took the time out to even comment.

If you don’t have anything constructive to say, just move along.

OP posts:
Original poster
CanWeGoForAWalk · 02/01/2025 19:07

Pninnette · 02/01/2025 19:04

If all your DH’s friends are criminals, surely this isn’t new?

Yes the majority are, but he does not spend time with them, nor does he invite them round.

I have made it clear to him that I don’t want the friend in question coming around to the house or even knowing where we live.

OP posts:
Witchcraftandhokum · 02/01/2025 19:11

Ok, I'm sorry, it was just the first thing that I thought. But.... it sounds like you're saying that criminal behaviour would br fine if you were poor and I'm not sure what you mean about being alone with the children.

catkatcatkat · 02/01/2025 19:12

So he has lots of dodgy friends. Did you find out about this before or after you got married?

Pninnette · 02/01/2025 19:14

CanWeGoForAWalk · 02/01/2025 19:07

Yes the majority are, but he does not spend time with them, nor does he invite them round.

I have made it clear to him that I don’t want the friend in question coming around to the house or even knowing where we live.

Show quote history

But why is your focus on the friend knowing where you live if you think your husband is actually involved in illegal activity?

OurDreamLife · 02/01/2025 19:14

I wouldn’t associate with anyone who is a criminal.
I’d find it hard to believe he isn’t also involved in their ways and would probably have dumped his as soon as I found out his mates are always banged up.

Annabella92 · 02/01/2025 19:14

What sort of crimes?

Original poster
CanWeGoForAWalk · 02/01/2025 19:16

Witchcraftandhokum · 02/01/2025 19:11

Ok, I'm sorry, it was just the first thing that I thought. But.... it sounds like you're saying that criminal behaviour would br fine if you were poor and I'm not sure what you mean about being alone with the children.

Apology accepted 🙂 I tried to make this post as short as possible.

No criminal behaviour is fine whether you are rich or poor.

OP posts:
wizzywig · 02/01/2025 19:18

Why are you not used to being alone with your kids? He is giving ocg vibes to me.

Original poster
CanWeGoForAWalk · 02/01/2025 19:22

catkatcatkat · 02/01/2025 19:12

So he has lots of dodgy friends. Did you find out about this before or after you got married?

Well to be honest with you, I think it stems from the place where he grew up, he has known most of his friends from primary/secondary school.

When he was around 12/13 years of age, his parents decided to move to the outskirts of London, but he wasn’t happy with their decision and stayed to continue his school life in London.

Like I said, he doesn’t mix with his friends regularly, we spend most time together. It’s just a cause for concern when he does want to spend time with them which is rare, he usually communicates with them via social media.

OP posts:
Original poster
CanWeGoForAWalk · 02/01/2025 19:22

wizzywig · 02/01/2025 19:18

Why are you not used to being alone with your kids? He is giving ocg vibes to me.

I am just used to us all being at home together.

OP posts:
catkatcatkat · 02/01/2025 19:23

CanWeGoForAWalk · 02/01/2025 19:22

Well to be honest with you, I think it stems from the place where he grew up, he has known most of his friends from primary/secondary school.

When he was around 12/13 years of age, his parents decided to move to the outskirts of London, but he wasn’t happy with their decision and stayed to continue his school life in London.

Like I said, he doesn’t mix with his friends regularly, we spend most time together. It’s just a cause for concern when he does want to spend time with them which is rare, he usually communicates with them via social media.

Show quote history

You haven’t answered the question. Did you find out before or after you married him?

wizzywig · 02/01/2025 19:23

Op I work with offenders, this is all looking dodgy. Where does he say he gets his money from? Does he have a legit job?

Original poster
CanWeGoForAWalk · 02/01/2025 19:26

catkatcatkat · 02/01/2025 19:23

You haven’t answered the question. Did you find out before or after you married him?

Show quote history

I always knew, but that’s irrelevant to this whole situation, because he was not mixing with them.

OP posts:
Isit2025yet · 02/01/2025 19:28

Is this drugs? Money laundering? Theft?

Original poster
CanWeGoForAWalk · 02/01/2025 19:28

wizzywig · 02/01/2025 19:23

Op I work with offenders, this is all looking dodgy. Where does he say he gets his money from? Does he have a legit job?

Hi.

He got very lucky with Crypto last year, in which he made over 7 figures, he also has a full time job working with his Dad.

OP posts:
MumblesParty · 02/01/2025 19:29

CanWeGoForAWalk · 02/01/2025 19:22

Well to be honest with you, I think it stems from the place where he grew up, he has known most of his friends from primary/secondary school.

When he was around 12/13 years of age, his parents decided to move to the outskirts of London, but he wasn’t happy with their decision and stayed to continue his school life in London.

Like I said, he doesn’t mix with his friends regularly, we spend most time together. It’s just a cause for concern when he does want to spend time with them which is rare, he usually communicates with them via social media.

Show quote history

Who did he stay with at age 12/13?

YesItsMeYesItsMe · 02/01/2025 19:29

Why on earth did you marry someone whose friends are all criminals??

CanWeGoForAWalk · 02/01/2025 19:29

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

arcticpandas · 02/01/2025 19:34

This could be dangerous for you and your children. Hiding drugs at home- you might be implicated. Being involved in criminal activities can make you into a possible target for competitors. I'm not trying to scare you, just giving you valid reasons to use when you explain to him why this is your business. If he goes to prison you will have 3 children without their dad present. I would put a stop to this or leave him.

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 02/01/2025 19:37

@CanWeGoForAWalk sorry but if all his friends are criminals then you can bet your life that he will have been hanging around the edges of criminality for a long time!! you need to get him away from them.

Original poster
CanWeGoForAWalk · 02/01/2025 19:42

Oh great, my comments are now showing.

He would never hide anything in our home or put me or the children in any kind of danger.

I believe the friend is now involved in drugs, even though he was convicted for trying to steal a hospital generator and is also extremely violent.

OP posts:
wriggleigglepiggle · 02/01/2025 19:44

This reply has been deleted

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