Colleague has thrown everything away that was on my desk

[WinkyTinky]

Back to work after Christmas and a few weeks off sick, to find that one of my colleagues who sometimes works at my desk has thrown away all of my papers. It was mostly handwritten notes about kids' appointments, my holiday plans, lists of things to remember about school, school calendars, and my eldest son's GCSE timetable. It was all personal sentimental stuff that I liked to have on my desk to see and remind me. I asked where it all was and he said that he has "got rid of all the crap." I'm really disappointed and a bit furious actually, but he thinks it's all perfectly fine. I know I'm a ridiculous softy about a lot of things, but this was MY stuff.

I dont think we know, it's not been mentioned yet.

Any chance these went into recycling and can be hunted out? Inform HR and go in hard - he has been very unpleasant.

He sounds unpleasant. This act was in character it seems. He should have put the stuff in the drawer.

I am amused by the idea of a gcse timetable having sentimental value ;-) I hated the things!

Sorry @asrl78 I don't mean to be arsey, but there is no data protection or GDPR issue here, they were my little scribbles and doodles to remind me of the kids doctors and hospital appointments and other such things. Yes I could keep a digital diary, but I am telling you now, I would forget to look at it. When I have physically written something down, and heaven forbid made a little drawing, then I will remember. Yes I used highlighters, different coloured pens, drew little stars and swirls, all while still being able to get my work done and do a really good job every single day. Why should I not do that?! I realise it's not the biggest problem in the world, obviously, it's just disappointing. My bloody husband does this as well, and quite frankly my desk is my haven, and now that's gone as well.
Just to add, the reason he sometimes has to use my desk is that there is certain software which is only on my pc. In fact, I had to show him how to use some of it today.

God's teeth.

If you read the ops post this has all been fine for over a decade so no there is no clear desk policy, just wanker colleague

Did you say when you started, ‘ok but we can only do this if you can manage to sit here without taking any of my personal items and chucking them in the bin?’

OFGS

If it's a shared desk it's partly your fault for leaving it out. I understand why you're upset but not of the things you've described would have obvious sentimental value I.e. photos, kids drawings, mugs etc.

He found a stack of lists that looked old, GCSE time has passed, its likely the appts were "old" too and probably thought he was just tidying. Doesn't sound deliberately nasty.

Why don't you get one of those desk planner pads for future? Then it's clear what it is, or lock your scribbles up when you leave

You didn't read her posts, did you?

To be honest it is a bit sh*t but i don't expect there is much you can do & as much as it isn't acceptable he probably thought you weren't there & it is confidential information about your son that you probably did not want falling into the wrong hands & he probably did not know when /if u were coming back & thought it was best to chuck it rather than someone find it who shouldn't have it. He might have thought he was doing you a favour (not justifyng it , some people are twats anyway).

there is certain software which is only on my pc. In fact, I had to show him how to use some of it today.

I'd have been sorely tempted to say 'sorry, I've forgotten how to use it, can't help you'. I would not be helping him at all now if I could avoid it. Tell him he'll need to get the software put on his own pc.

Yes I did. She likes her scribbles, she wouldn't like a digital diary. Theres no GDPR so she left her stuff. He sometimes uses her desk for the software on it, she hates him for a variety of reasons before this, his muddy boots and graffiti she attributes to him.

He might well be annoying and even piggish. But she knew he uses her desk, so she could have put her stuff away and by her own account he threw out some folded A4 paper and a calendar. I understand why she's upset but I can also understand someone not recognising its worth.

Only way to protect this stuff she sees as precious is put it away.

Urgh sorry but that is a mess, a mess that colleagues shouldn't have to put up with and cleaners shouldn't have to clean around.

It doesn't matter how forgetful you are this is not for an office. I am an employer myself and someone sat in that chaos would be asked to clean it all up by me.

Keep a diary or a calender or shove that mess into your bag and carry it around with you. Your desk isn't your desk, it's a dezk provided by your employer to carry out work, only work should be on it. I cannot stand peoples messy habits at work, we introduced hot desk for that very reason. It's beautifully clean and functional place for 100ish people to work now.

I am an employer myself and someone sat in that chaos would be asked to clean it all up by me.

That'd be your prerogative as the employer. You'd ask, and if they didn't reasonably comply then you could escalate as you saw fit.

But that's not the culture in the OPs office, and the guy who binned her stuff wasn't her employer or manager.

Just to add, the reason he sometimes has to use my desk is that there is certain software which is only on my pc. In fact, I had to show him how to use some of it today.

Show him fuck all in future. In fact, show him the wrong thing and then deny all knowledge when he fucks up later. Gaslight the bastard to within an inch of his sorry, inadequate, sad little life.

I agree with this poster. He wouldn't get anymore help from me. I would be so mad at him. I would sellotape a notice to your desk saying "Do not remove anything from this desk" and point it out to him at every opportunity just to piss him off. What a little shit he is!

So many women on here rushing to this absolute dick heads defence. Quite shocking!
It’s not normal to bin someone else’s stuff. You chuck in a drawer or a pile somewhere and message to say “all your stuff is here, not sure what you wanted to do with it”.
It doesn’t mean you have an issue with hoarding (as some clown above suggested) if you keep some personal things on your desk. The OMs I have worked with kept photos of their kids and personal diaries on their desks. Clear desks means majority of stuff and sensitive info is cleared away at end of day but it doesn’t sound like there is a clear desk policy at OPs place of work.
The man is a dick, who uses the woman’s toilets and chucks out other peoples stuff coz he’s got an attitude!
He was a dick OP, and I’d be pissed off as well.

Yes!!

People coming up with elaborate revenge plans on this bloke are way worse than him. There is nothing on that photograph to indicate that those papers are anything other than detritus. They weren't attached to the monitor, or in a small container, or looking in any way important. People usually take care of things that are important to them.

I think this man has inadvertantly done you a favour, OP, and the New Year is a good time to feel the freedom of moving forward without scraps of paper littering your life.

I feel sad for you though these sorts of papers should be kept at home, not in work on your desk. Your colleague should have put them in a drawer or folder out the way if they bothered him that much. Doesn’t sound like they’re a nice person.

I've read your updates and he sounds like an absolute bell end and as everyone else has personal stuff on their desk it is targeted solely at you.

Your workplace also sounds extremely weird if the management knows that he uses the ladies toilet when he feels like it, and leaves graffiti in toilets and this is all considered acceptable.

If the management don't know...why not?

I couldn't work in a place like that where someone can be totally unacceptable and there is no recourse.

I've seen the photo and no harm to you but that doesn't look like stuff that's important. It looks a mess of random paper. I wouldn't realise it was important if I worked with you (albeit I'd have put it in a drawer if it was me, not thrown it away). Maybe get some kind of a notebook to keep personal notes in going forward?

I wouldn’t leave anything I wanted to keep on my desk as there’s always the risk someone will chuck it. I put it in the drawers.

I mean this guy is obviously just being a dick but there’s always (at least) one so better safe than sorry.

So if something that doesn’t belong to you doesn’t look important, you just throw it away? You wouldn’t just ignore it? I can’t see anything that justifies simply throwing it away instead of moving it to one side for the brief period this man was using the software on the OP’s machine.