Colleague has thrown everything away that was on my desk

[WinkyTinky]

Back to work after Christmas and a few weeks off sick, to find that one of my colleagues who sometimes works at my desk has thrown away all of my papers. It was mostly handwritten notes about kids' appointments, my holiday plans, lists of things to remember about school, school calendars, and my eldest son's GCSE timetable. It was all personal sentimental stuff that I liked to have on my desk to see and remind me. I asked where it all was and he said that he has "got rid of all the crap." I'm really disappointed and a bit furious actually, but he thinks it's all perfectly fine. I know I'm a ridiculous softy about a lot of things, but this was MY stuff.

No, he shouldn't have thrown away anything on your desk. He had no right to do that.

Binned by a cleaner?? Where do you work where do cleaners take it upon themselves to bin notes on work desks.

What a little ray of sunshine you are.

@NotTerfNorCis unfortunately as much as the manager said they were impartial and didn’t let friendships impact their job as a manager, it was a load of rubbish. They were out every weekend, round each others houses (not in a sexual way, he was gay). Anyone else doing that would have been hung, drawn and quartered, but he only ever got a little slap on the wrist and that was very obviously just because the manager felt she needed to try a save face.

OP he was a bit out of order throwing them away but you don't seem to have taken on board the many comments that you were also in the wrong for leaving things out.

She wasn’t wrong though. There’s no clear desk policy to contravene. A few of you not liking that the OP does this doesn’t make it wrong.

Yabu as not related as shouldn't have been on the desk. I'm surprised it survived so long...does your company have a clear desk policy ..I work in a clear desk, shared desk situation in NHS

I have a desk at my place of work, and I’m entitled to keep whatever I want on it, unless it’s offensive. It’s my desk. Why couldnt she leave her things on there, it’s no one’s else business? I often keep things in my desk to remind me to sort them out, I then do it on lunch break.

Do you ever put your lunch in the fridge? How would you feel if someone threw it out because they didn’t like the look of it?

I’d be making the little prick rummage through the recycling to find it all!

You know, you really could try reading the thread.

It's not just about a clear desk policy if other people are using the desk. It's in considerate. I don't blame the colleague for being peed off for OP leaving her crap lying around (BUT I still don't think he should have thrown it away).

You and the only other woman need to get together and hatch a plan. For example, get a lock put on the women’s toilet and only women have the key. If he objects just look amazed and do the whole “why on earth do you want a key to the ladies’ loo, Gerry?”
I’m sure you can come up with other ideas. And do a lot of Grey Rocking as well.

He was wrong to do that. However why would you leave personal and private notes at work where anyone could read them? You should leave things like that at home. Some of it you could store on your phone eg son's timetable.

@Jacopo There was a lot of grey rock from me today. The day started off nicely and I launched myself into the office singing Happy New Year to everyone (well, the other two people there) and then I discovered the empty desk and asked straight away if anyone knew where my stuff was. He said he'd chucked it and it was probably very noticeable that I went quite for a while until I asked him which bin it had gone in and that it was stuff I wanted to keep, and that he needed to go and check the bin. He did that, and said it had been emptied. I checked myself and it was empty, so that was that. He knew I was angry with him and I stayed pretty quiet the rest of the day, but I do have to work and communicate with him. It was just such a shame that it should have been a nice day back and for the three of us to talk about our Christmas etc.

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I really do wish people would understand this!

Well said!

Notes possibly made during breaks....
Important notes to remind the OP what was happening that day or what needed to be done when she got home?
Notes made whilst on the phone to a friend (during a break)
Jesus Christ, god forbid no one is allowed a life by some of you MN people.
It really is unbelievable!

It's HER desk!!!!!!
She was off sick and he used HER desk!!!
It's NOT a shared desk....

Can't you lot read?

This is really laughable...how do you all manage in your jobs if you can't read and comprehend what the OP has said!

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Burn everything he owns. Add a little from his machinery COSHH cupboard for nice flames 😇

You don’t have to make it a nice atmosphere for him you know. He deserves to sit in discomfort and know that if he’s an asshole he should expect to turn up and have someone say ‘any nice times over the break Dave? Oh I forgot your idea of fun is binning all the kids new toys.’ Catch up with the other person, go for coffee with them. Fuck him off, you do not have to make nice chat with him.

Do you have hoarding tendencies? If so, please get some help sooner rather than later. Attachment to 'stuff' can take over your life.

Ridiculous. Not wanting someone you barely know to throw your things away does not make you a hoarder!

You wait til you read down and see the posts that suggests Op's a hoarder in the making! 🤣

Can't believe some of the comments on here 😂 no he definitely should NOT of binned your stuff. Put it into a desk drawer if it was annoying him that much!

Did you see the photo that the OP included in this thread? If that is akin to 'hoarding' or having 'hoarding tendencies' then I really despair for the rest of us!!!

It is the desk that the OP sits at when working in the office. There were other desks that this gobshite colleague could have sat at but chose to throw out the OP's stuff and sit at her desk instead.

@WinkyTinky - can you tell me if all of the other colleagues that have desks are male? I wonder if this isn't some sort of power trip that this particular colleague is on if you happen to be the only woman in the office. You mentioned that he didn't throw out the betting slips and other bits and bobs that are on a desk of someone who sits beside you. Could you enquire as to whether the workplace is bringing in a 'clean desk' policy as this other desk is very cluttered.

Could you perhaps play the long game here and whenever this person gets up from their desk, you clean up after them and throw out/shred any documents that are left on their desk? Collect mugs up from the desks (even if there is some left in theirs) and start playing hardball with this bloke? He clearly has zero boundaries so don't worry about crossing any.

Posters on here get less and less like actual real life humans every day

Hoarding 😂

I agree, been wondering if it was bored teenagers parroting parents and teachers.

I always picture really uptight prissy women when I read comments like that, they'd hate my laid back approach to most things 😁