Page 12 | Colleague has thrown everything away that was on my desk

JoannaGroats · 02/01/2025 16:52

Scaredandalonepls · 02/01/2025 16:36

I think it does if it’s a load of crap 👍 an office isn’t the OPs personal storage area.

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What if you think a colleague’s lunch looks disgusting? Would you take it out of the fridge and bin it? Throw away their favourite mug because it was chipped?

It wasn’t HIS! Therefore he doesn’t get to bin it, regardless of his opinion on it!

BetjemansBear · 02/01/2025 16:53

It was mostly handwritten notes about kids' appointments, my holiday plans, lists of things to remember about school, school calendars, and my eldest son's GCSE timetable.

Sounds like life admin, which women bear the brunt of. Even if it's out of date now, these things will still be a trigger for future admin. Some of the comments sound like they're made by very young people.

JoannaGroats · 02/01/2025 16:55

Doesn’t your work have a clear desk policy?

JoannaGroats · 02/01/2025 16:57

I’d hate to see a desk with ancient hand written notes left on it for years on end.

You'd hate it? What a weirdly extreme reaction to something that has zero effect on your life.

herearesomenuts · 02/01/2025 16:58

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

PrincessScarlett · 02/01/2025 16:59

To be fair, he didn't bin your sleeping bag so sounds like he was just chucking what he considered was crap/scraps of paper rather than all your personal stuff.

He does still sound like a general twat though with the other comments you have made about him.

TisGrandsoitis · 02/01/2025 17:01

Your colleague sounds like a prize wanker who needs sorting out and why are you working in a cold office? I wouldn’t accept that and I’d be hounding someone to sort out the heating as a priority.

Next, I’d have a blazing stand up row with said colleague so he wouldn’t dare touch mine or anyone else’s stuff ever again. (I have done this when it was warranted in the past and bullying colleague learnt not to mess with me.)

holju · 02/01/2025 17:15

WinkyTinky · 02/01/2025 14:29

I've never had reason to ask anyone to put my stuff away when I've been off, I trust everyone to just leave it. I've left bits of money on my desk with no problem, even significant money when I've had collections for staff leaving, no problems. And even though this person has a track record for nasty or weird behaviour, I was not expecting this. He's been here as long as I have, and is seen as a bit of a golden boy as he is the only one here who knows how to repair the machines. Of course, he could train others to do this, but he won't. He has handed in his notice several times but has always been persuaded to stay because of this, so he pretty much holds the company to ransom. Everyone is quite suspicious of him, and the women in particular (only two of us left now) don't like him. But I will not be driven out of a job I like. I can put up with him. Yes it is a construction/engineering company, but not a portakabin, just a cold office which is now freezing with the heating being off over Christmas. The heating was also off for a week in November so I brought a sleeping bag in to cover my legs. It really is bloody freezing. As for the hierachy, we have a frankly mad owner who is ruining the business and will probably in the end cost us our jobs. The managing director is never here as he looks after other companies so we just get on with our work ourselves. In any case, he thinks the sun shines out of this man's arse.

Given this update I'd let this incident go and make it your New Years Resolution to find another role. I understand that you like the job but if the owner is destroying the business, you could easily find yourself without pay if the business goes bust. No-one should be messing with your stuff but it seems there is not much you can do if he's unsackable.

RiseOfGru · 02/01/2025 17:23

This thread, like so many, seems to be full of women who have internalised misogyny and want to explain away or minimise this man's behaviour.

This man is bullying not only the OP but all the women in this workplace. How she deals with it depends on how her workplace operates and some good ideas have been put forward, but I do think the OP needs to protect herself and get this on the record even if she says she doesn't want to take it forward at this stage, and then encourage everyone to log incidents with this man big and small with dates, times, exactly what was done or said. Take photos, keep the loo roll if he writes on it again, etc.

I disagree with the idea that you "don't have HR" though, OP, because if there is no HR department or person, that falls to your boss. Everywhere has to deal with bullying or harassment of one person, or a whole group.

With regards to the people who keep going on about 'being professional', clear desk policies etc. you must be very sheltered people having only worked in one business or one type of business, and probably a nightmare to work with because you don't actually pay attention to what you are told!! And you probably don't understand more broadly that very efficient people can have different ways of working, and also might have additional needs which the unclear desk or notes are related to! So perhaps start the new year thinking about all that instead of trying to be so right-on.

FiftyPenceWorth · 02/01/2025 17:24

If there are only two women in the office, could you get a lock for the toilet door and keep the key between you? I wouldn't want to use the same facilities as this fucking weirdo, that's for sure.
Oh, and he could just have put your stuff to one side, rather than binning it. He's an arsehole as well as a weirdo.

Sadtosaythis · 02/01/2025 17:30

Ohnonotmeagain · 02/01/2025 11:36

It was mostly handwritten notes about kids' appointments, my holiday plans, lists of things to remember about school, school calendars, and my eldest son's GCSE timetable. It was all personal sentimental stuff that I liked to have on my desk to see and remind me

I think it’s unprofessional to have this sort of stuff all over your work desk, especially if others have to use it.

it’s work, you’re not there to worry about your sons timetable or kids appointments. It makes you look as if you’re more invested in your kids life than your work.

a photo is enough if you want something sentimental. Not the minutiae of your kids lives.

get a diary, clear your desk of your personal rubbish.

@Ohnonotmeagain are you being serious? You sound like a character out of a Charles Dickens novel.

Carodebalo · 02/01/2025 17:54

You are NOT unreasonable OP! He could have put your stuff in a folder or a drawer but instead chose to put it all in a bin. I would consider speaking to management about it but you risk getting lectured yourself about leaving personal stuff lying around …. especially because this ‘gem’ of a colleague is so loved by management …. So, probably best to just vent here on mumsnet and let it go … but I am enraged on your behalf!

MyGhastIsFlabbered · 02/01/2025 18:01

Someone did this to me once. My own desk and it was a handmade card from (young) DS2. Not even on my desk but in one of my trays on the shelf above my desk. I was heartbroken. I was leaving anyway but I will never forgive them.

Artesia · 02/01/2025 18:16

All the faux horror at "personal items" being left for colleagues to see. It was a few pieces of paper that were on the desk, not OPs knickers.

Artesia · 02/01/2025 18:20

Ceramiq · 02/01/2025 15:14

You shouldn't litter your desk with personal items and your colleague shouldn't have thrown those items out when your back was turned. If he'd collected them all up in a plastic bag for safekeeping I would have agreed with his actions. Let this be a lesson to you.

Seriously "let this be a lesson to you" . It was a few pieces of paper. And why shouldn't she "litter" her desk with it? Just because you might not be keen, doesn't mean someone else can't be.

Agapornis · 02/01/2025 18:37

Time to start looking for a new job? I've worked somewhere that sounds like your job (a nature reserve). The best of the team left when a 'rival' charity started a new nature reserve nearby. The crap ones like this guy got left behind.

satsumaqueen · 02/01/2025 18:37

WinkyTinky · 02/01/2025 11:34

It's my desk, but while I was off he would have done some of my work here. I know I could have kept things in my drawer, but I have them out where I can see them so I don't forget things. He hasn't touched anyone else's desk. Tbh he can be a bit of a nasty twat, and in a way I'm not surprised, but I am just really sad to lose my notes.

@WinkyTinky i used to work with someone like this. He was such a bitch. He used to do things like that to people because he thought it was funny. Things such as removing people from the teams group on their days off/holidays so when they came back they had to ask someone to add them back on (sometimes they didn’t realise they were removed until someone was chasing them for something). One lady liked to have certain pens, so when she wasn’t there he would move them or throw them away. One time someone ordered a waterproof notebook that had waterproof paper inside from our office supply company because he were pretty clumsy and kept spilling his coffee and this person decided to go and write his own name on the front just out of spite. It was never done as a “joke” always serious, he was just a nasty piece of work. I honestly can’t stand people like that, so petty.

Eldermillennial2024 · 02/01/2025 20:37

OP he was a bit out of order throwing them away but you don't seem to have taken on board the many comments that you were also in the wrong for leaving things out. Even if other people's desks were untouched you knew people sat at others' desks and it's annoying if they leave bits of paper lying around.

Why don't you get a small notebook and not everything in there and then you can put it in your bag or even if you left it in the desk it's less likely to be thrown away than messy bits of paper.

Ohnonotmeagain · 02/01/2025 20:46

The issue is it sounds like o/p’s workplace is toxic.

I think it’s unprofessional to have personal clutter on her desk and it should have been removed, but I don’t think this is the issue.

o/p needs to find another job, not waste time and energy on whether this bloke was in the wrong.

NotTerfNorCis · 02/01/2025 20:49

Can't believe anyone would defend this man. What he did was totally out of order. For all he knew, you could have had important work details in that pile. As well as important personal stuff, like phone numbers.

NotTerfNorCis · 02/01/2025 20:52

satsumaqueen · 02/01/2025 18:37

@WinkyTinky i used to work with someone like this. He was such a bitch. He used to do things like that to people because he thought it was funny. Things such as removing people from the teams group on their days off/holidays so when they came back they had to ask someone to add them back on (sometimes they didn’t realise they were removed until someone was chasing them for something). One lady liked to have certain pens, so when she wasn’t there he would move them or throw them away. One time someone ordered a waterproof notebook that had waterproof paper inside from our office supply company because he were pretty clumsy and kept spilling his coffee and this person decided to go and write his own name on the front just out of spite. It was never done as a “joke” always serious, he was just a nasty piece of work. I honestly can’t stand people like that, so petty.

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Christ what was wrong with him? Removing people from groups when on holiday? Management should have got involved.

Original poster

WinkyTinky · 02/01/2025 21:17

A handy photo I took a couple of months ago to send to my friend as we were both having busy days...... to illustrate how much space my stuff was taking up, the things within the pink line. The rest of it is work. I'll probably get more YABU votes now 🙈

OP posts:

Original poster

WinkyTinky · 02/01/2025 21:17

The photo. See! Forgetful...

Colleague has thrown everything away that was on my desk

OP posts:

Dazoo · 02/01/2025 21:19

Is there anyway you can get your own back on him? That's my only question.
What a CUNT!

YowieeF · 02/01/2025 21:20

It’s not ‘your’ desk, it’s not in ‘your’ home.
It’s in a workplace, if you’ve left anything personal behind then it’s on you.