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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Colleague has thrown everything away that was on my desk

436 replies

WinkyTinky · 02/01/2025 11:27

Back to work after Christmas and a few weeks off sick, to find that one of my colleagues who sometimes works at my desk has thrown away all of my papers. It was mostly handwritten notes about kids' appointments, my holiday plans, lists of things to remember about school, school calendars, and my eldest son's GCSE timetable. It was all personal sentimental stuff that I liked to have on my desk to see and remind me. I asked where it all was and he said that he has "got rid of all the crap." I'm really disappointed and a bit furious actually, but he thinks it's all perfectly fine. I know I'm a ridiculous softy about a lot of things, but this was MY stuff.

OP posts:
Drpeppered · 02/01/2025 11:28

Your desk or a desk you share?

WhatIDoIsEnough · 02/01/2025 11:29

I'd be really cross too. It doesn't matter what it is, it wasn't anyone else's to bin

TheFlis · 02/01/2025 11:29

What do you mean by they sometimes work at your desk, is it actually your assigned desk? If so why does he work at it?

BarbaraHoward · 02/01/2025 11:29

Why is he using your desk? That was really shit of him but does he think it's not actually your desk to take over like that?

porridgecake · 02/01/2025 11:29

It is nasty behaviour but if it is a shared desk you really should leave it clear and keep your personal papers at home.

Butchyrestingface · 02/01/2025 11:30

Do you officially desk share?

I take it HE doesn't leave any non-work related stuff at the desk - if so, Guy Fawkes night might come round a leetle early this year. 🔥🧨

YouveGotAFastCar · 02/01/2025 11:30

Is it your desk, or a hot desk?

To be honest, it sounds like a lot of handwritten paperwork, which probably needed to be in a drawer or something to protect it from cleaners/tea spillages/other people working at your desk.

I am sorry it's been thrown away, but if it's a desk used by other people, it needs to be tidy and not have anything important or sentimentally valuable left on it.

redskydarknight · 02/01/2025 11:31

Is it actually your desk or a shared desk/hot desk?

If the former, I'd make a formal complaint - for all he knew those pieces of paper were vital work notes. If the latter, I don't think you should be leaving these around and he's probably been annoyed about them for a while.

rubyslippers · 02/01/2025 11:31

Regardless of whose desk, if you see handwritten papers etc then leave in a pile and you certainly don’t throw away

if it is your desk it’s even worse that he did that

Shakeyourbaublesandsmile · 02/01/2025 11:31

That’s awful and at best thoughtless

Any chance of retrieval?

delphinedupont · 02/01/2025 11:31

It’s poor behaviour, it would have taken less effort to just put it in a pile and leave it on the desk for you. However if it was an official desk share then we have to box our things up at the end of every shift so that everyone using that desk gets it clear. Maybe he feels it’s his desk as much as yours.

JMSA · 02/01/2025 11:32

I'd never have done that to a colleague. Even if I was assigned to someone else's desk and didn't want their clutter, I'd neatly pile it up and put it in the desk drawer.
Was he pissed off at picking up the slack during your absence?

Shoxfordian · 02/01/2025 11:32

Is it a hot desk situation or actually only your desk? Why do you need to have all that around you anyway? It's unprofessional

ScaryM0nster · 02/01/2025 11:32

Do you have a clear desk policy?

If so, he was probably reasonable.

Owly11 · 02/01/2025 11:32

Why does he sometimes work at your desk and where does he work when you are both in? If it's your desk he is totally out of order chucking your stuff away. If it is a hot desk/shared desk then you should leave it clear and perhaps he has got fed up of finding your stuff all over it and so chucked it away to make sure you leave it clear next time.

comedycentral · 02/01/2025 11:34

Is it your desk or a shared desk? If it's shared, then you should keep it tidy, and he should also be respectful enough to put his things aside in an envelope or something and return them to you. If it's not shared then he's a complete CF! I'd be tempted to bin his sandwich 🥪

Original poster
WinkyTinky · 02/01/2025 11:34

It's my desk, but while I was off he would have done some of my work here. I know I could have kept things in my drawer, but I have them out where I can see them so I don't forget things. He hasn't touched anyone else's desk. Tbh he can be a bit of a nasty twat, and in a way I'm not surprised, but I am just really sad to lose my notes.

OP posts:
YouMeandBrie · 02/01/2025 11:35

I suppose it depends on a few things. I work in an environment where lots of things are confidential so we have a clear desk policy and any paperwork left out by mistake is locked away in a drawer each night in case it contains anything confidential and we are audited overnight.

If he sometimes uses your desk, do you have more of a hot desking arrangement? If so, you shouldn’t really have personal stuff lying about on it while you’re not there.

On the other hand, if it is your designated desk and none of the above applies then he is probably just annoyed by the clutter and trying to make a pass agg point.

YouMeandBrie · 02/01/2025 11:36

Cross post!

Ohnonotmeagain · 02/01/2025 11:36

It was mostly handwritten notes about kids' appointments, my holiday plans, lists of things to remember about school, school calendars, and my eldest son's GCSE timetable. It was all personal sentimental stuff that I liked to have on my desk to see and remind me

I think it’s unprofessional to have this sort of stuff all over your work desk, especially if others have to use it.

it’s work, you’re not there to worry about your sons timetable or kids appointments. It makes you look as if you’re more invested in your kids life than your work.

a photo is enough if you want something sentimental. Not the minutiae of your kids lives.

get a diary, clear your desk of your personal rubbish.

Gingersprouts · 02/01/2025 11:36

My impression is that he doesn’t like you and believes that you are too family orientated to be in the job. He wanted to inflict hurt and inconvenience. Would have been easier to chuck the papers in a drawer and save the row, but he sees you as weak, and that you’ll be upset and will let him do what he wants in future.

In an ideal world the desk is clear - and he isn’t a prick. I’d watch your back.

LivingDeadGirlUK · 02/01/2025 11:37

Totally unreasonable of him, he could have put it in a pile or box but really if its your desk he shouldn't be touching it.

Where I work cleaners would be disciplined for removing paperwork and other fee earning colleagues should all know better. If he genuinely thinks he was ok to do this his manager needs to have a word with him.

Boarb · 02/01/2025 11:37

A clear desk policy is quite normal. And you don't need any of that stuff to hand while you're working - GCSE exams aren't until May! Keep a notebook or details on your phone.

Ahappymediumlarge · 02/01/2025 11:39

That's really unpleasant behaviour. If they were in his way he could have just put them in a plastic wallet or folder and tucked them in a drawer for your return. I would never dream of throwing a colleague's personal stuff away - what a twat.

MJconfessions · 02/01/2025 11:39

To be honest I think YABU as none of it is even work related. It sounds like you weren’t even actively using any of that either, you just liked having it in sight/on show. You don’t need to decorate your desk with a GCSE timetable.

In fact I would be surprised if you even need notes for a lot of that - surely you can remember what your own holiday plans are?