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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask for some help or just a verbal kick up the arse!!

27 replies

Newname71 · 02/01/2025 10:49

I’m 53 and a few stone overweight. My knees are killing me, I have acid reflux and im pretty sure I have sleep apnoea. Im exhausted! I know it’s all to do with my weight but I just can’t motivate myself to do anything about it!
I spend hours on the internet researching different things… diet clubs, diet pills, injections etc. Sometimes I’m eating crisps while I’m doing my research!! Wtf is wrong with me!?
Im going to a festival next year that I love but I’m already dreading all the walking!
I want to go and dress totally inappropriately for my age!
I’ve got until Mid June to get this weight off.
Inspire me ladies! Please!

OP posts:
JacquesHarlow · 02/01/2025 10:54

Do you list what you eat in a day? Or a week?

I'm not at all being goady or confrontational, I'm just asking.. do you know what you eat?

If you listed it, would it motivate you to change?

Birch101 · 02/01/2025 10:55

Start with being accountable with what you are actually eating.

Learn how you work e.g. I can't do things in moderation so I do cold turkey, or I need to be held accountable to other people so I attend a weekly group

The simplest things I've found are

  1. No alcohol
  2. No chocolate (so I still have the odd digestive biscuit but it restricts the choice on lots of things
  3. No sweets (I then go for savory over sweet things)
  4. Increase water intake
  5. Intermittent fasting

Start small and build up with achievable goals

Newname71 · 02/01/2025 10:55

JacquesHarlow · 02/01/2025 10:54

Do you list what you eat in a day? Or a week?

I'm not at all being goady or confrontational, I'm just asking.. do you know what you eat?

If you listed it, would it motivate you to change?

I think I do. But I’d probably be shocked myself if I wrote it all down. Maybe a good place to start. The shock might motivate me.

OP posts:
Newname71 · 02/01/2025 10:58

Birch101 · 02/01/2025 10:55

Start with being accountable with what you are actually eating.

Learn how you work e.g. I can't do things in moderation so I do cold turkey, or I need to be held accountable to other people so I attend a weekly group

The simplest things I've found are

  1. No alcohol
  2. No chocolate (so I still have the odd digestive biscuit but it restricts the choice on lots of things
  3. No sweets (I then go for savory over sweet things)
  4. Increase water intake
  5. Intermittent fasting

Start small and build up with achievable goals

Thanks for this.
I definitely need to go cold Turkey on the crisps. I can’t stop at one bag.
I definitely don’t drink enough water.
2 things I can change straight away.

OP posts:
MiniPumpkin · 02/01/2025 11:03

Not for everyone but when I do slimming world I feel good, I don’t feel bloated and have more energy. Cutting alcohol helps too but like everything it’s just getting the balance as you don’t want to feel ‘cheated’ out of something nice to eat now and again.
im 36 and recently noticed that my arms hurt when chopping up food 🤣 I also struggle to get back up when I bend down to washing machine. I need to exercise to improve strength as it’s depressing and I’ve no excuse .
agree with pp re up water intake

Newname71 · 02/01/2025 11:10

@MiniPumpkin
I’ve done slimming world before and I did manage to lose a couple of stone but I found there’s too much thinking involved for me. That was years ago though. I had a look at my aunties WW online account which was good so maybe if slimming world has similar with recipes etc I may give it another go.
Excercise…. My 17 year old DS is keen for me to go running with him. I’ve told him baby steps…. I’m knackered walking up the stairs at the moment. 😂

OP posts:
comewhinewith · 02/01/2025 11:10

Sometimes specific foods set off acid reflux, so keeping a record of what you eat might help you identify if this is the case for you.

If not, probiotics have helped my reflux so may be worth trying.

I found intermittent fasting (working up to 36h fasts) really helped improve my joint issues.

Newname71 · 02/01/2025 11:13

comewhinewith · 02/01/2025 11:10

Sometimes specific foods set off acid reflux, so keeping a record of what you eat might help you identify if this is the case for you.

If not, probiotics have helped my reflux so may be worth trying.

I found intermittent fasting (working up to 36h fasts) really helped improve my joint issues.

I’ve looked at intermittent fasting. I don’t eat breakfast anyway. Have my lunch at work at 1:00 then I’m in bed by 9 so I think I could do this.
But 36 hours 😳 hats off to you

OP posts:
Hankunamatata · 02/01/2025 11:15

Start small. Aim to drink at least 2 litres of water a day and walk for 15 mins daily.

MyLoftySwan · 02/01/2025 11:17

Aside from everything else over 40's can have a wellbeing check from their GP. If you haven't had one get them to check you over. Depending on your area you might be eligible for a concession on gym membership and classes through your GP. Exercising well will get the endorphins going and help you not to feel sluggish. Diet will make the biggest difference but getting you moving will in time help with the stairs and day to day movement.

SulkySeagull · 02/01/2025 11:18

Calorie counting. It’s easy and you don’t need to eliminate foods. Noom has worked for me.

also, just get up and do some exercise. Once you’ve done it the endorphins kick in and you don’t want to ruin the good work by eating shite!

latetothefisting · 02/01/2025 11:19

I have no self control at all, so the only way for me to not eat crisps etc is just to not buy them. Then my laziness slightly overrules my greediness so I cba to go to the shops to get some when I get a craving!

Drinking more water is a good start. If you feel hungry, have a glass of water/squash/tea and wait twenty minutes - often we mistake thirst for hunger.

Try intermittent fasting - it can be quite easy, say if you limit eating between 10-6 or 12-8pm, gives your body a chance to actually start burning calories without more constantly coming in, and as long as you eat a substantial evening meal it's enough to tidy you over until the next day and you aren't lying there too hungry to sleep as I often end up with calorie counting.

Does snacking tie in with behaviour? e.g. sitting in front of TV in the evening with a bar of chocolate/pack of crisps? If so try switching things around - do an evening class or pick up a new hobby (knitting/painting your nails/whatever) so you've got something to do with your hands to distract you.

Depending on how overweight you are, maybe look into one of the weight loss medications? I know they're touted as a 'wonder drug' but they often completely remove all cravings/desire for snacky food so again, even if it's just to kick start for a few months could be useful in beginning better habits.

BlackeyedSusan · 02/01/2025 11:23

Pick one thing you can change per week and start building new habits that will last.

RegulatorsMountUp · 02/01/2025 11:25

Mounjaro

Life changing for me! And no effort required. And no side effects for me either.

wetwiped · 02/01/2025 11:42

Im a couple of years older OP and feel much the same way. I read up and look into all sorts of healthy ways to eat, buy all the cookbooks, even signed up for Zoe last year, yet still cannot get my head into the right zone to eat less. I think I've almost overloaded my brain on diets and have lost the way.

To start 2025 I'm going to attempt to break it into basic simple and small steps.

Accountability - This above all else. Monitor what I actually eat. I'm thinking either Slimming World or MFP. Not sure which yet, have lost weight with both historically. I like the idea of getting weighed weekly in a class. Part of this for me will be cutting back on meat and experimenting with alternatives to pasta/rice. Although not cutting out any food group entirely, massively reducing sugar intake.

Move - everyday. I'm not going to put pressure on myself to do so many classes a week or go to the gym. Simply getting out of the habit of sitting and reading/netflix. Even if it's just a brisk walk. I need to change the habit I have embraced of sitting so much.

Sleep - another habit I need to change is staying up so late, usually around 12pm, so getting to sleep around 1pm. I don't start work until lunchtime so not getting up early, but I'm always groggy on a morning and want to start maximising the time I have first thing to be more active.

I drink loads of water already and go to Pilates once a week. My focus is going to be logging my food to start. I usually try and do everything at once, eat better, join a gym, time restricted eating, getting 10K steps in....then give up. I'm starting with one main goal and will add to it as I get better at it.

Comtesse · 02/01/2025 11:46

I would start with sleep. Sleep apnea is really really dangerous, and crappy sleep is bad for all kinds of health outcomes including weight. GP appointment to discuss sleep apnea would be my starting point.

bigkidatheart · 02/01/2025 11:50

Newname71 · 02/01/2025 10:58

Thanks for this.
I definitely need to go cold Turkey on the crisps. I can’t stop at one bag.
I definitely don’t drink enough water.
2 things I can change straight away.

Water can make a massive difference. If you are not drinking enough water it can actually make you put on weight.

Switch to a protein heavy diet. Ditch the crisps for popcorn. 3lts of water a day. 10000 steps if you can manage it.

Track your calories in an app and you will realise where they come from - and I mean all calories (don't count salad!).

Get a fit bit! I didn't understand full how the body uses calories until I bought one of these and the fitbit app is really good, it also tracks your sleep which could give you an insight into why you are not sleeping

I make chocolate mousse out of cottage cheese and it hits the spot every time.

I use egg whites a lot. You can buy it bottled and it boosts your protein intake.

There are calculators you can get online which will let you know what calories you should be aiming for for fat/weight loss, depending on current height and weight. If I am trying to lose weight I roughly stick to 1200cal and then up to 1400 for maintenance (you can't sustain 1200cal for a long period of time)

Also, there is a guy online who uses the phrase consistently average. If you are doing most of the right things, most of the time you will see result.

Good Luck!

ChocolateMagnum · 02/01/2025 11:52

Weight loss never works as a goal in itself, or it just works temporarily while causing a lot of psychological and physical harm in the process.

Instead, read about intuitive eating (I highly recommend the book, Eat to Love), body neutrality and try to find an activity to do that you love and enjoy that just happens to involve you moving your body more.

You need to fix the underlying crap rather than do a weight-loss sticking plaster.

gettinghealthy · 02/01/2025 11:53

@Newname71 I'll join you if you like. Also a few stone overweight and all being well my 'event deadline' is similar to you - all being well I should be graduating in August and I really don't want to be the old and fat one!

I've been slim all my life up until pregnancy. I did put on a stone over lockdown and then I got pregnant and I haven't got the weight off. I used to be a size 8-10 and now if I carry on I'm going to have to replace my size 16 clothes as they'll be too small. I don't recognise myself anymore and I hate any photos being taken with me in because I look so awful. I have only a handful of photos I love with me and my DS because I just look awful in all the others. I've even stopped having baths because I hate looking down at my hideous body.

How do you think you'll go forward? I've tried slimming world a few of times recently. I did ok the first time but the last two sign ups were awful and I actually put on weight (because I didn't stick to it). I find it very time consuming and around my uni course and DS, there just doesn't seem to be enough time for all the prep. I'm going to try cutting back, being sensible and doing some form of exercise every day and see how I go for the next few weeks. Also cut the alcohol (which will be a challenge!).

We've got this! How often are you planning to weigh yourself? I'm planning on once a week, every Saturday morning to keep myself motivated through the weekend

Newname71 · 03/01/2025 09:36

RegulatorsMountUp · 02/01/2025 11:25

Mounjaro

Life changing for me! And no effort required. And no side effects for me either.

I’ve considered this but the stories of blood clots in lungs etc have scared me!

OP posts:
Newname71 · 03/01/2025 09:37

Comtesse · 02/01/2025 11:46

I would start with sleep. Sleep apnea is really really dangerous, and crappy sleep is bad for all kinds of health outcomes including weight. GP appointment to discuss sleep apnea would be my starting point.

Won’t they just tell me to lose weight though?

OP posts:
RegulatorsMountUp · 03/01/2025 09:49

Newname71 · 03/01/2025 09:36

I’ve considered this but the stories of blood clots in lungs etc have scared me!

Nah its fine

Newname71 · 03/01/2025 09:55

RegulatorsMountUp · 03/01/2025 09:49

Nah its fine

How long have you been using it? How much weight have you lost ? (If you don’t mind me asking)

OP posts:
SilenceInside · 03/01/2025 09:57

@Newname71 Mounjaro doesn't cause blood clots in the lungs. I think in the US there are speculative legal cases about this, but there's no causative evidence and no research based examples of this happening. The US medical legal situation is so different to the UK, it seems that any recently developed drugs will have people trying their luck at getting payments out of the drug companies.

RegulatorsMountUp · 03/01/2025 09:59

I Don't weigh myself but 10 weeks and 1 dress size at least x