To be horrified I used to wake at this time every day?

[iusedto]

At 18 months my previously crap sleeper started sleeping through (mostly) but swapped multiple night wakings for waking very, very early - 5-530 generally.

This lasted for around a year. Then he dropped his nap and sort of shifted that sleep to the morning. Gradually he’s been waking later and later and now sometimes I have to wake him. (Not often.)

I have a ‘new’ 18 month old who thankfully doesn’t seem as inclined to start the day when it’s still the middle of the night but she did just wake me about half an hour ago and I am waiting for her to go back to sleep.

But - AIBU to be horrified this was a habitual start time if you like for me once upon a time? I’ve given myself such a hard time about not properly enjoying ds as a toddler but I kind of think no wonder; I must have been sick with exhaustion!

My eldest was an ok sleeper but younger one was a really bad sleeper and I remember being absolutely exhausted when they were little. It's a shame as all i did was get through the day really.

Autism and ADHD, sleeps the minimum his body will allow and then wakes up like it’s the middle of the day. Like, wants to be in the park at 2am.

Night and day are a myth in this house. We just do awake or briefly asleep 😂

I remember the years of DS waking for the day at 04:30. I refer to them as "the grey years" as I was permanently grey faced and haggard from lack of sleep. I lived in a fog trying to juggle work, childcare and school for older DD. He used to wake up every 2 hours through the night and then start the day at the aforementioned 04:30. I don't know how we mums do it.

Getting up at 5am every.single.day is my reality with my 14 month old. Unless anyone is living it right now then honestly they can piss off with their superior opinions of that being reasonable. It's not. Sleep deprivation is a known form of torture.
My preferred time to get up is 7am and I would prefer to go to bed at 10:30pm in order to do that. So I'd have to go to bed at 8:30pm, but I can't get to sleep. So you can't just shift your body clock, it's not possible for everyone.
I'm not a lazy person at all. I have a PhD and am a lawyer. I need my sleep for my brain to function but currently I'm scared about how I can't think straight and have such awful brain fog because I just need more sleep.!!
In theory, yes getting up at 5am with the birds singing and having a coffee is lovely, if you have the option to go back to bed if you want to. In reality, getting up with a clingy toddler who won't even let you put his 10kg arse down to make him Weetabix or go to the toilet, in the dark when it's cold, is not fun. It's just not. Sorry but stop making me feel bad that I absolutely hate it. It's completely unreasonable #thistooshallpass

At least with the menopause you don't have to entertain a toddler.

Don’t do a me and have a baby at 43 then crash straight into perimenopause 😭😭😭

Too late - but waking early isn’t an inevitable part of menopause, peri or otherwise.

It is for millions of women.

ummm this is a pretty standard experience…. Not unusual in the least.

@Lostinmusic22 just because something is standard and not unusual doesn't mean it's not hellish! Thrush is standard and not unusual but doesn't mean I want to experience it willingly

Is that what this is? 😱😱😱

Are you this much of a dick in RL too?
The person you're replying to didn't say it was rare they said it was horrible. 🙄

Aaah, sympathies. That's gotta be hard, even though you know it's an accepted feature of lots of kids with autism and/or ADHD, it doesn't help you to know that when you're going through it. Hope you get some respite occasionally.

I remember years ago when I was living away as a student my mum moaning to me on the phone one Sunday evening that her sister had turned up for a planned visit that day, only it was at 8am or something instead of a more usual 10am like you might expect. My aunty had a child with severe autism who didn't ever sleep a full night and was up daily from 4.30am. I was shocked that mum didn't have any imagination over what that must be like day in day out, and the desperation she must have felt to turn up on their doorstep that morning, poor auntie. She worked full time as well, my auntie, and her husband who stayed at home was so stressed as the full time carer. My mum didn't work!!! She just didn't get it.

We're getting our children back on track before school starts again as they've been going to sleep later and were not waking naturally until 11 am (we have a plan and will be OK for 7.30 am wake up on the first day back).

I found it intolerable when they were little and wanted to get up before 7 (never as early as 5!!) but luckily genetics won out and by the time they were 3 or so we could all sleep until 8 or 9 at the weekends. I don't function before 7 am or really after 1 am.

Some people are just not set up to be early risers. I do believe we all have a natural rhythm that our bodies prefer if we are allowed to find it. I prefer to sleep from midnight to 8 am and I can tell my children will be the same or even more extreme night owls like their father.

Smug 5 am risers - stay up until 3 am and see how chirpy you feel. It's so peaceful because most other people are asleep so I'm sure you'll love it.

How was what?

Ah, PBP!

Yes!! Mine is 330 ish til 530ishm.i then drop off into a lovely sleep 😴 and then my alarm goes off at 7 :(

So best to avoid having children. It is what it is. Decades of no sleep. It’s not breaking news is it…

Surely between 5 and 6 is the early side of normal? Lots of people get up at that time to get to work etc. we have a pony and it’s the 4-4.30 am starts that seem too early when we need to do it, especially in winter!

Oh, is this the Breaking News board? I thought it was AIBU but I’m very sleep-deprived.

@Lostinmusic22 thanks for the advice, I'll bear that in mind. Any other gems of wisdom?
I'll make sure to never vent frustration or seek solidarity ever again because I should just expect and accept the tough parts of life.
I hope you're more supportive to your friends in real life?

Nope, because we all accepted being tired was par for the course a very long time ago! Now we just crack on and enjoy the good bits! 💪🏻💪🏻

@Lostinmusic22 well done you for being a much better more superior person to me 👍🏻