Men when they meet someone else

[Moisturiserfor55pluswhenimnot]

Friend of mine had her dh leave her for someone else, within 8 months, she’s pregnant, he’s taken on her Dd. He posts ‘Family’ pictures all the time of them all (with his and my friends Ds in the pics) posts about how it’s the best year of his life and how he’s met the love of his life. No huge problems in their marriage, came as a huge shock to her. He’s also really awful now to my friend, trying to get more time with their ds, consulting a lawyer etc.
It’s like he literally just replaced her in his life with this new woman without a care in the world. He was what I considered a nice, decent guy.

Scary

More fool her getting up the duff. How you get them is how you lose them, it'll all be false illusions posted on FB etc. It won't last.

This - what a prick of a man eh

I think there was a thread on here recently, where the poster said the woman her husband left her for has been left for another woman 😬🤭

Men are terrifying

He's a dick for having an affair, but you can't blame him for wanting more time with their child.

After an affair most men will create an illusion of a life on SM, the best advice you can give your friend is to block them so she doesn't see anything, and keep things civil regarding their child.

It will sting for a while, but she will move on, and hopefully the next one isn't a cheating bastard.

I don’t understand why he basically boasting about this new life, wouldn’t you have some sensitivity and keep things under the radar for a while? I don’t remember seeing him posting much on Sm previously.
It all just happened so quickly, to be pregnant within 6 months maybe…madness

I just feel so sorry for her, it’s like none of their old life mattered, would you not feel guilt at all, so scary

Because he did something awful and he needs to 1- convince the world it was for the greater good and 2- make sure his new partner is feeling secure and not like a shameful secret.

Your friend can't change what he's doing, but she can change how she responds, and blocking on SM is the best thing for her just now.

She will be glad she’s rid of him and he will toss his new family aside like he did with your friend.

Think PP has it. He's behaved like a prize-class bastard and he knows it. To prevent it gnawing away at him, he'll have convinced himself his ex is an evil old shrew who deserved to be treated like this and he's merely living his best life without that millstone round his neck anymore.

I just dislike men so much.

If my DH left me, I would never be with a man again. I just don't think I would ever trust again.

One of my best male friends did this. He and his wife had 3 kids, seemingly happily married and he left her out the blue for another women who he immediately moved in with and they blended their kids straight away. I actually cried when I found out, we've been friends 20 years and he was the last person I ever thought would do that so if he could do it, any man could. I almost ended our friendship over it but he has been a great friend to me but I will never believe he is a good husband anymore. It's since become clear from talking to him about it that his marriage had become stale, in the completely normal way that a marriage does when you have 3 kids under 7, and he got attention from someone at work who was having more serious problems in her marriage (her ex husband sounds abusive) and he's jumped at it. I'd still consider him a friend but I now see him very differently and to be honest I see him as quite weak and pathetic now.

There was a guy I used to work with who did this. I thought it was awful. He’d encouraged his wife to leave her career and be a sahm. They had a four year old and he had an affair with another colleague. The wife had to go home and live with her parents. Meanwhile he just started a completely new life, he married the colleague really quickly and both their offices were plastered with pictures of them
as a new family. He was a proper dick. But I think when men fall in love they will literally go all in no matter what. That’s why it’s really important that you make sure the guy you settle down with is besotted and not just thinking you’re ok for now. If you’re waiting around for calls, he’s skipping dates, spending more time with his friends than you, you’ve been dating years and he’s not proposed you really should just move on swiftly.

I saw him as a great guy too and was friends with him, just so disappointing

Do you think thats it? He just completely fell
in love? They seemed in love though (my friend and him) just so sad

She doesn’t follow him on Sm, these are things I see him posting, it’s mainly shared pics and videos from the new woman. Don’t understand how she could do this also

I wouldn’t read much into Facebook - it’s all a load of performative bollocks.

Ig

Well at least he wants more time with the child . when some men do this they act like the child doesn't exist anymore.

He's trying to show everyone it was all worth it and he didn't make a mistake, that he's so in love that's why he left and not just a generic scumbag. I'd absolutely believe that behind clothes doors not all will be rosey but he's committed now so he has to make it work

I don’t understand why he basically boasting about this new life, wouldn’t you have some sensitivity and keep things under the radar for a while? I don’t remember seeing him posting much on Sm previously.
It all just happened so quickly, to be pregnant within 6 months maybe…madness

Men & women do this, they have to “prove” & convince themselves that it’s worth it, they haven’t just blown up their life for nothing.

It seems to be more of a power struggle though? More about being vindictive to her..this is what I don’t understand when he’s the one who did wrong

Better than explaining to your kids why their father doesn't want to See them anymore

He’s terrified of aging. Prize tosser who women should avoid. Will do the same to wife #3 as he has to #1. Best rid.

No idea. He could just be flaky

Yet another reason I have such a low opinion of men nowadays, and why I won't get involved with one romantically ever again. When my exH walked out on our 11 year marriage (for another woman) he went all out to make sure that everyone knew how absolutely deliriously happy he was.

I think it depends how care was divided before the couple split up and what the child was used to. That sound be the starting point for what the arrangements look like after separation, otherwise it is disruptive for the child and it is their best interests which should be considered first and foremost. That other dads may decide not to see their DC at all is not relevant here.

I work in the field of relationships and affairs never come out of nowhere, it will be down to attachment theory of his. Not saying that as he hasn’t done the work it won’t happen again with the new relationship but my point is that people who are happy and fulfilled don’t cheat. Not that it’s your friends fault, it’s not, it will be a lacking in him that he’s too lazy to work on so he’s taking the easy way out.