Page 2 | Men when they meet someone else

Moisturiserfor55pluswhenimnot · 2025-01-01T20:37:24+00:00

Friend of mine had her dh leave her for someone else, within 8 months, she’s pregnant, he’s taken on her Dd. He posts ‘Family’ pictures all the time of them all (with his and my friends Ds in the pics) posts about how it’s the best year of his life and how he’s met the love of his life. No huge problems in their marriage, came as a huge shock to her. He’s also really awful now to my friend, trying to get more time with their ds, consulting a lawyer etc. It’s like he literally just replaced her in his life with this new woman without a care in the world. He was what I considered a nice, decent guy. Scary

ChocolateIce · 01/01/2025 21:39

Talulahalula · 01/01/2025 21:33

I think it depends how care was divided before the couple split up and what the child was used to. That sound be the starting point for what the arrangements look like after separation, otherwise it is disruptive for the child and it is their best interests which should be considered first and foremost. That other dads may decide not to see their DC at all is not relevant here.

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Yet he would be slated if he didn't bother with the first child and was out getting someone else pregnant and bringing up her kids 😑

Happyholidays78 · 01/01/2025 21:49

I agree with other posters, it's this 'look at us, it's meant to be' showing off & being all public rather than a more humble, private and quiet approach & god forbid having a little shame for their actions. I knew a couple like this & everything they did with was all over Facebook (including pictures of their children from their previous marriages), they were so in love they married quite quickly but alas it didn't last long! What a shame. I hope your friend comes out of this better off, the woman I know certainly did xx

Original poster

Moisturiserfor55pluswhenimnot · 01/01/2025 21:51

Happyholidays78 · 01/01/2025 21:49

I agree with other posters, it's this 'look at us, it's meant to be' showing off & being all public rather than a more humble, private and quiet approach & god forbid having a little shame for their actions. I knew a couple like this & everything they did with was all over Facebook (including pictures of their children from their previous marriages), they were so in love they married quite quickly but alas it didn't last long! What a shame. I hope your friend comes out of this better off, the woman I know certainly did xx

Yes, it’s all so quick and intense looking.

I really hope she does 🙏

OP posts:

DaringlyPurple · 01/01/2025 21:58

My mother firmly believed that the more "loveydovey" a couple were in public or the more enthusiastically they described their spouse, the more they were trying to convince themselves. I think the same about people doing the equivalent online.

Evaka · 01/01/2025 22:01

My dad, brother in law (sister's husband) and good friend's husband all did this. In the latter two cases when they had small kids. All left for much younger women.

I have a very lovely and loving long term partner but decided not to have kids because I just can't believe the same wouldnt happen to me. I can't put myself in such a vulnerable position.

Imbusytodaysorry · 01/01/2025 22:38

Pyjamatimenow · 01/01/2025 21:06

There was a guy I used to work with who did this. I thought it was awful. He’d encouraged his wife to leave her career and be a sahm. They had a four year old and he had an affair with another colleague. The wife had to go home and live with her parents. Meanwhile he just started a completely new life, he married the colleague really quickly and both their offices were plastered with pictures of them
as a new family. He was a proper dick. But I think when men fall in love they will literally go all in no matter what. That’s why it’s really important that you make sure the guy you settle down with is besotted and not just thinking you’re ok for now. If you’re waiting around for calls, he’s skipping dates, spending more time with his friends than you, you’ve been dating years and he’s not proposed you really should just move on swiftly.

fall in lust you mean !

Endofyear · 01/01/2025 22:49

He sounds like an arsehole and your friend is well rid of him. The new girlfriend will probably come to regret getting involved with him too. If I were your friend I'd block him on social media so she doesn't see his stupid posts. Give him time with his DC so she can go out and have some fun of her own!

Pyjamatimenow · 01/01/2025 23:02

Imbusytodaysorry · 01/01/2025 22:38

fall in lust you mean !

Edited

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I meant both actually.

AllTheChaos · 01/01/2025 23:06

Pyjamatimenow · 01/01/2025 21:06

There was a guy I used to work with who did this. I thought it was awful. He’d encouraged his wife to leave her career and be a sahm. They had a four year old and he had an affair with another colleague. The wife had to go home and live with her parents. Meanwhile he just started a completely new life, he married the colleague really quickly and both their offices were plastered with pictures of them
as a new family. He was a proper dick. But I think when men fall in love they will literally go all in no matter what. That’s why it’s really important that you make sure the guy you settle down with is besotted and not just thinking you’re ok for now. If you’re waiting around for calls, he’s skipping dates, spending more time with his friends than you, you’ve been dating years and he’s not proposed you really should just move on swiftly.

I wish someone had given me this advice many years ago, as it’s just so true.