Daughters 1st birthday present

[Spinningmom21]

So, we’ve had my 2nd daughter’s first birthday in October, low key at home with in laws. DH has a brother, wife and 2 kids a few years older than ours.we generally get on well but SIL doesn’t think much of the husbands family and is very much self absorbed and is always asking for expensive things with form to not return the kindness. For each of their children’s birthdays we make sure we got something they liked or wanted and spent about £40 on them (this is what we would normally spend). For my daughter’s birthday we offered out ideas for presents and left it up to each person to get what they wanted. BIL and SIL sent down a card and gift (as couldn’t make birthday). For my daughters first birthday they sent half a card, that is where they cut off the picture side of a standard birthday (not 1st birthday) card and wrote on that and sent some plastic xylophone tat. I was livid, husband was livid but in-laws made a fuss that it’s the though its that counts and to leave it. Husband sent a generic thank you text.
Roll on last week where it was SIL birthday and I purposefully sought out the exact same card they gave to my daughter and on the crease make a dotted line and drew a picture of small scissors. I wrote well wishes for her birthday and sent it.
It’s caused an uproar and I’ve been called to apologise and I’ve refused. AIBU

Keep old Xmas cards. When is bil', s birthday? Cross our Christmas and write birthday... Well done op. Are her dc too old for a plastic musical instrument?

She's drawn a line in the sand alright - a dotted line line with cut here

Hilarious.
From now on revolut a tenner for their kids./put a tenner in their cards.
No way would I be spending 50 on a gift.
Better still, get your DH to do it.

You all sound far too immature to be having kids, quite frankly.

I think it’s funny.

What’s done is done.
btw I think it was fucking genius!

Now this is out in the open you’ve ripped the plaster off so you might as well see it through.

do not apologise - say there’s a funny story about the card but you can’t remember what it is.

I’d also nod and smile with all the gift ideas and be putting £10 in a card for her kids from now until infinity.

also I don’t know a person in the WORLD who if they miswrote / scribbled on / whatevered on a card wouldn’t just cross it out or get a new card.
cutting the card is insanely cheap and weird and says “I don’t value you”.

also even if that happened and they had no alternative any normal person would send a text saying “listen I’m a wally and had a shocker with the card I didn’t want it to arrive late so sent it anyway 😳 sorry blah blah”

It's petty and passive aggressive.
I don't understand why an adult would behave like this.
Either rise above it and send her something that you normally would or ask her why she sent what she did to your daughter.

I think you are overthinking this and actually being quite precious. It sounds like a lovely gift and no the card wasn’t great. I’m shocked you felt the need to purposely pick out the same card! You have wasted a lot of time and energy on something very minor.

Exactly!

It's type of suggestion that is floated a lot on this board. They gave you re-gifted bath salts, re-gift them back next year. It's funny but I doubt if I could have got so annoyed and wound up over half a card.

If you refuse to apologise and your SIL does have a cheek demanding one, I think your only option is to diffuse the matter and not make it awkward for others at family events. You will have to style it out and laugh it off say 'it was just a joke because you sent me half a card and I couldn't resist when I saw the same card'

I think it's genius if they say there's a funny story behind the card, then they should be able to see the funny side of your card.

Come off it. It wasn't a lovely gift at all. OP always buys her SIL's children and SIL something from the list that her SIL has provided. SIL has expensive tastes when other people are buying. OP sent a list of presents that her daughter would like. Her SIL ignored the list and bought something much cheaper, as well as the ridiculous half a card.

Yes, OP's response was petty and a bit twatty, but it was also quite funny. She is just matching her SIL's energy here.

With regards to the gift, to clarify I was not bothered about it so much as the card. We didn’t keep the xylophone as it was tat so I threw it away (otherwise would’ve posted a picture), but for context think cheap plastic xylophone with 4 keys on it and bendy plastic beaters. We didn’t keep it as I didn’t want my daughter putting it in her mouth as it was small and poorly made. It’s not something I would dream on giving and it was horrible but the card topped it off. If you’re not bothered about giving a nice gift fine, at least make the card nice.