Pregnant women contribute same £ to hen do

[wantnoscrubs]

Advice appreciated!
I'm planning a hen do in February and I have two pregnant women joining. I'm working out the budget and a substantial amount of the supermarket order is going to be booze 🍸
I've been thinking I should try and work out a way for the pregnant ladies not to pay as much as they won't be drinking.
What do you think? Would you expect to pay less or the same as everyone else if you were pregnant

This would drive me insane, just tell everyone to bring their own.

From this thread it's obvious that other people are likely to want to join the non-drinking crew even if not pregnant, and even if you ask everyone they're going to forget/change their mind/expect you to know what they wanted. And even after all that, you somehow have to get everyone's preferred alcohol. Which is fine when it's red wine or something, not so much when it's the one person who wants a niche flavoured cider and claims all the bottles as theirs and falls out with someone else who wants one but didn't think to ask.

And rely on it actually being delivered. Far too much hassle.

If there's a supermarket order then am I right in thinking it'll be a private thing, as in not out out?
If you're out out and the pregnant ladies will be drinking mocktails then split it evenly but if it's at someone's home or something then just separate the drinks split from the food split.
Basically, it depends what the pregnant women will be drinking!

Surely though you would add a service charge on all the drinks?

I mean yes if the drinkers were paying
A+SC = T
I should pay
SD+SC = T
Not just SD

But A+SC is still going to equal more than SD+SC if SC is the same in both and A is more than SD?

A = Alcohol
SD = Soft drink
SC = Service charge
T= total

I’ve never paid a service charge for drinks.

Split the supermarket bill into food and soft drinks and alcohol and exclude anyone not drinking from the alcohol bit. I wouldn’t expect to be subsidised by people not drinking alcohol.

A kitty is the preferred option from the group as it stops complicated rounds. From everyone's feedback they would find it weird just getting their own drinks without offering to get someone else's etc.

It's not at my home. We are staying away in an Airbnb.

We are doing both. Two nights Airbnb. One night in, one night out out

the pregnant ladies should absolutely not be paying the same as the drinkers. even on your nights out where the pregnant ladies might want mocktails, they will be drinking significantly less than those who are drinking alcohol

I can see it causing arguments or at the least friction when the kitty runs out and Joan is sat drinking Aperol Spritz at £15 a drink and Mary is on the single cheap vodka Lemonade! If everyone drinks the same ie white wine then maybe do enough for the first few bottles.

It is, of course, possible that one of the booze hounds will be joining the currently-pregnant ladies in their sobriety, so you might need to be ready for the alcohol consumption to change when it comes to it.

I'd agree with this too. Unless everyone drinking the alcohol is happy to go in rounds of the same drinks. Which is probably unlikely.

I think it would be crazy that your friends who are drinking would be pissed off because they have to pay more than the pregnant few. X

Yes, sounds good.

I was going to say something similar, @wantnoscrubs have a look at the prices of AF gin / wine/ rum / beer . It can cost the same if not more than alcohol.
So in theory you could actually need them to contribute more £s

Get everyone to bring their own drinks!!!!

I went on a hen heavily pregnant. The organiser made a lot of effort to buy alcohol free drinks and other treats I would like (she asked me in advance) to make up for the money spent on alcohol

Alcohol is expensive. As I get older many friends don't really drink anymore so if we are out for meal etc we always ask for our drinks bill separate to our food bill. Never been an issue not sure why someone drinking alcohol would expect a non drinker to fund that.

Well done OP for thinking about this in advance and coming up with a fair solution.

I don’t think anyone would be put out that they are paying more for booze vs a pregnant woman who isn’t drinking it.
And if they are, I think they’d be a bit of a dick to be honest! I’d never expect a pregnant person to pay for my alcohol. I don’t think they’d have a leg to stand on.
I think it is normal practice OP, my friendship group definitely do it this way!

Just do bring your own booze?

It's a bit risky as you risk outing someone's pregnancy

We go in holiday with several families - 2 people are teetotal. We buy alcohol separately or work it out separately.
So say shop is £300 of which £100 is booze and there are 6 adults we divide £200 by 6 peeps and £100 by 4 peeps.
The alcohol REALLY adds up.

for the main budget, I agree, do two shops (either put the alcohol behind a divider if buying in person or do two deliveries to make it easier), then divide alcohol by everyone who is drinking and add that on to their amount. But definitely check that everyone who you assume is going to drink does want to. They might normally be a 'booze hound' but could be wanting to not drink or cut back for a number of reasons.

I would ask if people want to do a kitty or not for the night out. Not everyone drinks the same type (i.e. price) of drinks, as often, or at the same speed as each other so a kitty is just asking for complications. Not to mention what happens if the kitty owner loses their purse/phone/disappears!

I don't know why a pp has assumed that buying their own drinks will mean everyone goes up at the same time and queues individually in a line - the whole point is people drink at different speeds so will be going up at different times, just like a normal night out. Unless you are insisting that everyone goes to the loo as a group outing and nobody is allowed to go home early even if they're pregnant and tired or drink too much and get ill, and nobody is allowed a smoke/vape break, then the whole group aren't going to stick together like lemmings the whole night. Even if you had a kitty you'd still have at least 3 or 4 people going up each time to help carry the drinks. Unless everyone wants a kitty just let them buy their own drinks when they want.

The naked total sense

What makes you think the group don't know there are pregnant ?

Depending on how expensive this hen weekend the problem is if you offer a non alcohol price for the pregnant ladies then you have to be prepared that some others might say they want to join that kitty instead to save money etc