Pregnant women contribute same £ to hen do

[wantnoscrubs]

Advice appreciated!
I'm planning a hen do in February and I have two pregnant women joining. I'm working out the budget and a substantial amount of the supermarket order is going to be booze 🍸
I've been thinking I should try and work out a way for the pregnant ladies not to pay as much as they won't be drinking.
What do you think? Would you expect to pay less or the same as everyone else if you were pregnant

Each of the 10 queues separately to buy one drink for themselves? That's not an efficient way to organise a drinking session.

I would wait and see what they plan on drinking. Mocktails and non alcoholic beer and wine are pretty much the same price as alcoholic versions. What non alcoholic drinks are you getting for them in the big shop?

There are no kitties for the night out, everyone just buys their own. The ONLY reason there might be joint drink buying on a night out is if people want to get a pitcher of something, and then those that will have drinks from the pitcher, agree to split the cost of the pitcher. Honestly my husband and quite a few friends drink, and even alcoholic drinks vary quite a lot in price, and the amount people drink varies. People who drink one or two cheap small acholic drinks, don't want to be funding those that have 5-6 large glasses of expensive alcohol, any more than non-drinkers want to be funding any alcohol.

Kitty is optional but for the food/drinks in the house, I'd exclude them from the alcohol costs but included in the non alcoholic drinks.

I think the pregnancy thing is a bit of a red herring. They're not getting special treatment because they're pregnant, just not paying for the booze because they won't drink it.

I think splitting the alcohol bill only between the drinkers is completely fair. I would make this clear to everyone just in case there is anyone else who doesn't want to drink, but hasn't said.

Why would it be a secret?

Just ask people if they will be drinking or not. They get to choose which category they'll be in.

OR, you only order communal foods. Everyone then brings what they will be drinking themselves. That's probably easier to manage if you're worried.

Yes.

One for drinkers, one for non-drinkers. Easy.

If they were not pregnant, then you would need to buy more booze, so the cost would be exactly the same surely. So no-one is paying more because they are not drinking.

I would…

Split accommodation, food and other non-alcohol costs between you all.

Then split the alcohol costs between the drinkers and add to the above costs.

Explain this to the pregnant women, and ask them to bring along any alcohol-free alternatives such as zero beers, nosecco etc. Not everyone is comfortable with these so they are best left to organise amongst themselves.

Ever occurred to you that you might be being a bit of a CF by getting all the drinkers to subsidise your soft drinks? Once you add in service charge, a Diet Coke could easily be up to a fiver depending where you go.

Why would anyone be put out that non drinkers aren’t subsidising their booze?

I’m pregnant and I was just out for a meal out for an occasion the other night. We split the bill and I couldn’t help but be irritated at the amount I spent on other peoples alcohol. People were ordering 50 euro bottles of wine and I ended up spending 40 on alcohol that I drank none of. I sucked it up because it was a special occasion and I didn’t want to make a big deal but I will say it was very annoying. I wouldn’t expect people who aren’t drinking to foot the alcohol bill, it’s not really fair.

Definitely! I would feel really taken advantage of if I found out I'd paid for everyone else to get drunk.

Like someone said - divide the food and soft drinks then separately divide the alcohol.
Just place two distinct orders to make it easier!

Is the bride paying? If the bride is being covered/subsidised don't forget to include the pregnant ones in that.

this is a wierd question - why should non drinkers pay for booze?

But why should they expect non-drinkers to subsidise them?

Calculate the booze separately and divide it between the drinkers.

Definitely split food between all and alcohol just between those drinking.

I don't think it's fair to make people pay for something they clearly aren't going to consume. If I were pregnant, had to pay and had to watch all my friends get drunk, I'd rather not go.
I would just be upfront about it and say this is the plan. I can't see why anyone would have a problem with it.

How come you are charging people for a hen do? If you are having it at home do you not cover it? Seems odd, it's just a party, you wouldn't charge your mates for dinner. Just ask them all to bring a bottle and they can chip in fur a pizza or whatever.

Yes, split alcohol amongst drinkers and food amongst everyone. When I’ve been on weekends away with friends who are non-drinkers, we’ve always done it this way and works fine.

Agree with others you need a separate bill for alcohol and food shopping. Anyone who wants to complain is a CF to be honest.

A kitty for the night out seems bizarre unless you are all drinking the same drinks. If you are stopping in a house for a weekend I understand the food order bill and drinks. Not for the non drinkers though they should be food only. Unless this is what everyone wants I dont understand why people arn't just told to bring their own drinks. I hate things like this its just over management by the organiser. I wouldnt want to be responsible for going back to the bar every 2 mins somone wants a drink either. If you want to do group shots or bubbly as 1st drink maybe just have a very small kitty for that.

I thinks shes talking about the supermarket shop, not rounds in bars.

I don't drink alcohol at all, why should I pay for somebody else to??