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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that this was a bit bizarre?

70 replies

Candysh · 30/12/2024 19:48

I was in a very busy Waitrose car park today. So many folks there, so you had to wait to get parking spots.

I saw a young lad (say 17-19) walking to a car with (I assume) his dad. They didn’t have a lot of shopping so I thought I just wait and indicate…

There was a big red L on the back and I thought hair enough may take a wee bit longer but no drama. There were so good songs on the radio and I was happy to vibe in the car to the songs.

i could see the lad looking a little nervous but didn’t think much of it.

there was a ridiculous amount of space for him to reserve out and turn right. He could have literally reserved out the whole length of the car and turn straight right. No drama…

The dad at some point got out of the car and pointed at the ‘L’. I just gave him a thumbs up like no worries, take your time. Then he walked up to my car and said to me that he is a learner. I said no problems that’s why I left plenty of space. And he just went like, could you reserve back more?

I get that he was nervous but seriously at least (!) a full car length space was left behind their vehicle. I was taken back a wee bit, like shouldn’t they learn how to manoeuvre a car out?

I felt that the dad was wrapping his son in cotton wool…

OP posts:
stickygotstuck · 30/12/2024 19:58

Dad sounds reasonable to me.

I'd have thought one car length was the bare minimum you'd need to reverse out of a space as a competent driver.

At the end of the day, you want to avoid any bumps. Dad was being cautious (as most likely was the lad).

JustCuttinAboot · 30/12/2024 20:00

The dad sounds great - taking things at his son’s pace, a son who will gain his confidence and skills as he goes on.

BrownBoot · 30/12/2024 20:00

I’ve been driving for 25 years and I still hate it when I’m reversing out of a parking space with an audience. I understand how he might have felt.

ShortyShorts · 30/12/2024 20:01

I'm not sure this would still be on my mind when I got home, even if I lived next door.

Iwantamarshmallowman · 30/12/2024 20:02

were you waiting for his space? That's an arsehole thing to do to learner imo.

MJconfessions · 30/12/2024 20:03

I think you could have said, if you wanted to, that you’re happy to leave first and get out of the way.

Ultimately you were already patient but he needed more time, they obviously could see you waiting around for them and sometimes that makes people uncomfortable. Like he probably got stage fright because he’s new/unskilled and learning but people are waiting for him to move. Being watched by strangers would make anyone feel a bit anxious

Original poster
Candysh · 30/12/2024 20:03

ShortyShorts · 30/12/2024 20:01

I'm not sure this would still be on my mind when I got home, even if I lived next door.

I know! 😅 I have no idea why it stuck with me

OP posts:
rainbowstardrops · 30/12/2024 20:04

I think you were a bit of a dick to pressurise a learner driver.

Original poster
Candysh · 30/12/2024 20:06

Iwantamarshmallowman · 30/12/2024 20:02

were you waiting for his space? That's an arsehole thing to do to learner imo.

Yup, no one else was leaving and it was a small car park with a one way system. If I moved on then I would have been back at the end of the Q.

Why is it an arsehole move? If I didn’t wait then it would have been the car behind me waiting for the space. Mind blown at your comment 🤯 how is it an arsehole move to wait? 🤣

OP posts:
XenoBitch · 30/12/2024 20:07

When I drove, I was fine parking generally... but if I had an audience, then I was utter shite at it.

SuperNovajovic · 30/12/2024 20:12

honestly sometimes i wish i had someone to ask people to give me more space reversing with an audience and i've been driving 30 years

claudiawinklemansfringetrimmer · 30/12/2024 20:13

Yeah I hate reversing with an audience and I’ve been driving 5 years now, I don’t think there was anything wrong with him asking for a bit more room for a leaner. Yes, he’ll have to learn to do it eventually but you don’t have to do everything straight away

FrogOnAYuleLog · 30/12/2024 20:21

What’s bizarre is that you’re still thinking of this 😅 but you say so yourself. Don’t sweat it!

FoolishHips · 30/12/2024 20:39

Maybe all your vibing was putting him off.

OnePeppyDenimHelper · 30/12/2024 20:41

Wonder how they would tell the ( not v exciting) story

DollopOfFun · 30/12/2024 20:45

Isn't there that phrase/song 'objects in the rear view mirror appear closer than they are'?

Sometimes the view from inside the car looks tighter than it does from the view outside. id just put it down to learner nerves, and protective dad. Sweet really.

Northernladdette · 05/01/2025 16:13

The other side of the coin is when travelling along a dual carriageway behind a Learner, he was swigging from a bottle whilst mum was scrolling through her mobile phone 🙄

Julimia · 05/01/2025 16:17

Sounds good and sensible to me. Why could you not have taken the pressure off by going to find another space? Not cottonwool at all

Sunnysidegold · 05/01/2025 16:19

Car parks are tricky, especially busy ones, reversing out,, with a car close-ish to you and therefore someone you think is watching you.

I think there wasn't anything unreasonable on the part of the dad, he was making sure his son could get out of the space safely.

EveryOtherNameTaken · 05/01/2025 16:31

FoolishHips · 30/12/2024 20:39

Maybe all your vibing was putting him off.

I cringed at vibing to the music 😅

Bachboo · 05/01/2025 16:31

Sorry but I think you are the one being ridiculous here. Would it have really hurt you to move back more?

Simonjt · 05/01/2025 16:34

The thing is when you’re learning it feels like other vehicles are so close you can touch them, so parking can be really scary, plus you also have to concentrate so you don’t stall.

MidnightMusing5 · 05/01/2025 16:37

Yabu. When you’re learning to drive, you’re also learning spatial awareness etc and I hated the pressure of someone waiting (as often they easily turned impatient) when I wanted to take my time with manoeuvre

BobbyBiscuits · 05/01/2025 16:39

If the kid can't really drive properly then for safety reasons the dad kind of had to say that. Else you'd just be waiting for even longer. He did nothing wrong other than giving polite and necessary instruction. Maybe the lad shouldn't have been given such a task but it's not the end of the world is it?

2025willbemytime · 05/01/2025 16:43

YABU. Not much more than a car length is not sufficient for a learner. Only takes a little mistake and he goes back into you.

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