To think that this was a bit bizarre?

[Candysh]

I was in a very busy Waitrose car park today. So many folks there, so you had to wait to get parking spots.

I saw a young lad (say 17-19) walking to a car with (I assume) his dad. They didn’t have a lot of shopping so I thought I just wait and indicate…

There was a big red L on the back and I thought hair enough may take a wee bit longer but no drama. There were so good songs on the radio and I was happy to vibe in the car to the songs.

i could see the lad looking a little nervous but didn’t think much of it.

there was a ridiculous amount of space for him to reserve out and turn right. He could have literally reserved out the whole length of the car and turn straight right. No drama…

The dad at some point got out of the car and pointed at the ‘L’. I just gave him a thumbs up like no worries, take your time. Then he walked up to my car and said to me that he is a learner. I said no problems that’s why I left plenty of space. And he just went like, could you reserve back more?

I get that he was nervous but seriously at least (!) a full car length space was left behind their vehicle. I was taken back a wee bit, like shouldn’t they learn how to manoeuvre a car out?

I felt that the dad was wrapping his son in cotton wool…

How hard is it to spell reverse?

It would have been an arsehole move if you were being impatient and stressing the learner out by trying to hurry him, @Candysh but it sounds as if you were being patient and understanding, so I can’t see how you were being an arsehole.

Once asked, you could have backed up a bit more for him (you don’t say if you did or didn’t).

Some drivers can be really nasty to learners.

I remember when my DDs were learning, how often other drivers would come up close and hoot their horns at them if they weren't moving as quickly as the other driver decided was appropriate.

It's really intimidating for a learning to be put in that situation.

Still trying to work out what's bizarre about the father asking you to give his son a bit more space.

Some drivers forget how they felt when they were learning to drive. And any driver who says they weren't nervous when they started their lessons is lying; although, there will be the arrogant types who think they're great at everything and don't give a shit.

shouldn’t they learn how to manoeuvre a car out?

Yes. That's what they were doing. Learning.

He was being ridiculous.

Mountain, molehill.

Why has this tiny and unimportant incident bothered you so much? You repeat several times that you were perfectly patient and happy to wait, but do you also have an uneasy suspicion that you were hanging around too close to the other car for a learner driver to be comfortable reversing out? If so, you only need to make a mental note not to do it again. If not and you think the dad was being unreasonable to ask you to move, at least he did it politely and the car was able to leave and you got your parking space. Let it go!

One car length! The lad is learning and could have done with just a little bit more room and a little less pressure.

His Dad did the right thing - you acted like a tit.

The son will be learning to drive on those next week.

I think one car length is a bit tight for a learner in a busy car park, and no matter how many times you've practiced in an empty car park, with no pressure, there's always the first few times in a busy one you've got to do.
I don't see much wrong in you waiting, but find it odd that you find it odd that the father asked you to move back a bit, a mistake could have sent him into the front end of your car, clutch or gas slip and the car lurching a bit, while he's concentrating on mirrors and getting the turn right, so considering he was a learner I don't think it was a bizarre request.
I do think people forget how daunting it can be learning to drive, and how much that becomes second nature needs a bit of practice pulling it all together simultaneously and consistently.
As the UN suggests, I'm an inexperienced driver, I've been driving 18 months and am so much better than I was when I passed, but there's times my inexperience shows too, and I'm more careful than a seasoned driver of 30 years.

Controlling the speed of a reverse can be quite tricky when you’re first learning - trying to that whilst managing a tight manoeuvre with the added pressure of someone waiting, the risk of lurching backwards isn’t insignificant. The dad sounds sensible to ask for more space.

The most unreasonable people on this thread are the ones who say they deliberately dawdle when people are waiting for their parking spot. Do they think people wait on parking spots just be arseholes? Why do they think they’d do that if there’s a free spot elsewhere? In a full car park waiting on someone returning to their car is usually the only way to get a spot,

I think dad should have reversed out for him this time tbh. Sure learners need to cope in busy car parks but there is busy and there is busy.

Yes it would have been nice for you to move back, but I suspect there probably wasn't that much room as you say it was one in one out.

"like a tit"

Grow up. She didn't DO anything other than wait for a space and then post here.

This. How do you know how many lessons he had had. This may have been his first. Bad form OP, very bad form.

😂😂😂 ok Karen.

I found this odd too. If there are no other spaces what are you supposed to do?

Sometimes I hold back if I see someone’s reverse lights come on to let them go first. It’s annoying when you’re trying to reverse out of a space but you can’t because of car after car. I thought I was being courteous but apparently not!

@Candysh said the car park was very busy, @Iwantamarshmallowman - so even if she could have driven off and found another space (which she says she couldn't have done), surely someone else would have pulled up to wait for the space anyway - so there would have been no benefit to the learner.

As I said yesterday, if she had been acting impatiently (leaning on the horn, gesturing etc) that would have been arsehole behaviour - but waiting patiently for the space wasn't, imo.

I don't think you were unreasonable, but it wouldn't have hurt to back up a bit more, and give him more space. sounds like he was a very early beginner, maybe got some first driving lessons for Christmas, and was nervous.

YABU

He sounds like a great dad.