Playing Nice: to think you'd know the baby wasn't yours?

[lover99]

Just seen the trailer for Playing Nice on ITV where the premise is that the babies were switched on accident and the couples left the hospital with the wrong infant.

Am I being unreasonable to think that you would know instinctively that the baby wasn't related to either of you?

Don't think I'd have a clue tbh! Unless it was really obvious like a different race ... Both of mine looked really different to each other at birth too so couldn't even rely on similarities. DD1 very fair and not much hair, DD2 dark hair and lots more it, and a chin dimple! And if I'd only seen them while off my face and for a short period of time, I don't think I would have recognised them in a line-up.

Yes but only because on wards of dainty 6lbers my enormous babies were the talk of the unit!

Me too, loads of red hair that neither me or her Dad have! I thought the Consuitant was joking when he said her hair was red.

I wouldn't have known. My last baby was born unresponsive, not expected to live. She was taken to another hospital via air ambulance and due to complications from surgery I wasn't allowed to leave for nearly 50 hours.

I was prepared when I met her to say goodbye etc. I saw her and thought she could not be mine. I tried to smell her but I'd had pregnancy rhinitis and didn't get my sense of smell back for 4 weeks.

I just kept saying goodbye to her even though I thought she mustn't be mine. Not sure if it was a defence mechanism but if there had been a mix up, I'm sure I'd have felt the same way.

By some medical miracle she did live. But it wasn't until after her first birthday that I felt like she was mine and not a baby / toddler I was caring for for someone else.

So glad this is anonymous, I've never told anyone that.

I didn’t meet my DD for 3 days. I was ill and she was in NICU

when my DS was born I was off my face on morphine.

not sure how in either case I would have known if they’d been switched.

I didn't see my dts for a good 12 hours, I did see them briefly before they were whisked to nicu.
I only knew they're mine because the nursing staff told me.

I’ve read the book (which may be different to the TV series anyway but I’m trying not to reveal anything important.)

Both babies were born very prematurely and were quickly whisked away. One of the mother’s had very severe PND (maybe post natal psychosis) and didn’t bond with the baby for a long time. Maybe just one of those things, maybe because of the shock of such a premature birth or maybe because she instinctively did know.

Both my DCs were really puffy when born and looked nothing like what they came out hours and even a day later. So yeah I suppose so. Plus the haze you're in after delivery when the adrenaline and gas wear off... I can see it

DS had “stork” marks on his eyes and face and looked just like my niece so there was no mistaking him. He was also prem but weighed over 7lbs so couldn’t miss him in NICU. He was very long and is now 6’3”. I would have known if he’d been swopped.
He did keep losing his tags because despite his weight his legs and arms were very skinny. I suppose he would have been the one without tags in a line up.

My baby girls are mixed race with big eyes and dark hair at birth, so nothing like Churchill and not bald or very white. Tags are put on in delivery room to avoid all this, before they leave the mother. The town we were in was very white , so I had no problems identifying my babies. Errors are made, but if the tags are put on in delivery or theatre, this should not happen. Children are identical to husband , so would have known, but nothing like me

@junerella I’m sorry you went through that, it must have been incredibly hard. I hope you’re both doing better now.

I think it would depend on your labour and how soon you held baby. My first labour was 4 days and fucking traumatic they could have switched her and I wouldn't have known except she had birth injuries so clearly mine. Second short labour strait on my chest so I saw him immediately and would have known. Third was whisked off to get him breathing then my blood pressure messed up and I was whisked off for monitoring so again I could have had him switched if his dad hadn't gone with him.

Even if the baby felt wrong unless there were clear differences eg wrong sex or different hair or skin colour who would feel confident saying it's not their baby? I think I would probably think I was a terrible mother and not bonding properly or worry about my mental health before I concluded my baby was switched.

Ruby’s celebrity babies!

the mum on the bed next to me had twin boys the combined weight
still didn’t match my 10.5lb/4.76k baby!

next one set a record for the longest baby, shot out like an eel,
a fuzz of red hair, couldn’t deny that one

If this happened to me I would wonder at my lack of motherly intuition.

one of mine was born under GA so I didn’t see her for quite some time after she was born, and I was still confused for days. Luckily my DH was there to manage everything

i learnt that it’s not uncommon for mothers who have had a GA birth to have a form of PTSD which manifests as them not believing their baby is theirs.

my baby looked exactly like my husband, so no, never had any concerns.

they are pretty instantly tagged so I would be extraordinarily surprised if it happened in the uk now

@junerella Echoing @MotherWol , I hope you are both flourishing now,
your story is safe with us.

Apart from the physical similarities, this is unconscious imitation, amazing really

It is. My friend has a son who came to her at 18 months and he looks just like her.

My husband popped out to get me a snack when I was on labour. Got lost and was sent to a room with a woman with the same name as me! When my daughter was born I wouldn't let her out of my sight, just in case of a mix up.

I have had a number of people say I look like my mum, these include people who know I am adopted and others who don’t

My DD was taken to SCBU right after delivery but I had had a chance to hold her briefly before, plus she looks quite distinctive so I never had any concerns personally but I have wondered about this!

DH was not biologically related to his dad but people who didn't know this would often say he was the double of him. They had a similar eye and hair colour which helped but DH has some of his dad's mannerisms and facial expressions, obviously learned due to proximity in his formative years but people see him making a certain face or hear a specific inflection in the way he says something and attribute it to his dad's "genes".

The same thing happens with a friend of mine who has two adopted children. People assume that they're both genetically his (he's in a same sex marriage) as they have similar colouring and they've picked up some of his mannerisms. Even his mum says the youngest is just like he was when he was a toddler and she knows they're adopted.

Of course if you are the only dark haired brown eyed person in family of pale green eyed blondes it’s one thing but in most of the families there are a lot of different features present already. A colleague of my mum adopted a child. This child looked like a perfect picture of a child with inherited features from both of her adoptive parents.

On DD1 I was very ill and not conscious for any substantial length of time for over a week. I used to wake up distressed that I couldn’t feel my baby kick so recognising a born baby would have been a challenge.
Thankfully DD1 while not looking like either DH or I is the image of my Mum.

With my identical twins I have always been able to tell them apart.

I’m not sure either because with a tiny newborn I have really weird instinct where I also want the other newborns to look after (for a few days while all hormonal and crazy). I even remember after my first thinking I should adopt others at the same time. I definitely would have mothered anything put into my arms at that point.

Loooooool.

Honestly if they didn't tag my dc immediately after birth, you could not have convinced me that they were mine.

Looooool