Performances at yoga class

[Sickofitalltonight]

Just back from a regular yoga class and, yet again, I'm inwardly eye rolling and some people's performative behaviour.

Woman A: has a "twisted ankle", so she has to hold on to the wall for balances. Instead of parking her mat next to the wall, she always plonks herself in the middle of the room and then has to hobble and wince herself to the wall, past other people, several times each class. I work with her - the "twisted ankle" only send to appear in yoga classes.

Woman B: the heavy breather. Can't even walk into the room without heavy, performative sigh-breathing announcing her entrance. Has no actual respiratory issues (yes, I know her well).

Woman C: the slow loris. Makes every moment painfully slow, from taking off her coat, to unrolling her mat. Always with a slightly pained expression. Has no known health issues and doesn't behave like this in any other situation (again, I know this for a fact). I sometimes give her a lift and have to wait ages at the end for her to put her fucking trainers on.

During the last 5 mins relaxation, the heavy breather sounds as though she's orgasming and the slow loris has to slowly and loudly, zip up a fleece and rattle a bag to put her socks on, slowly and with the pained expression. Can't possibly lie and quietly still for 5 minutes without alerting everyone to their presence.

AIBU to be annoyed and perplexed by these performances?

Why are you paying so much attention to what other people are doing in yoga? Doing that isn’t very yogi.

Focus on your own breathing, concentrate on what your own body is doing etc, and you will feel much nicer after your yoga session.

Maybe group classes aren't for you.

Your attitude isn't really in the spirit of yoga is it.

Maybe ignore them and concentrate on what you're doing?

I have a "dancer" in one of mine. It's silent hot so there are mirrors in front and every transition she basically adds wafty jazzhands or a body roll or a little high kick it's really funny.

This.

Oh yes, twisty hands! I’ve seen one of those.

I have a man in mine. Yes the class is open to all and yes I shouldn't mind but I do. He's been coming for years but can't follow the simplest of instructions and we all have to wait while the teacher wrangles him into position.

We used to always have a woman that felt the cold. When it was 37degrees one time, there she was, complaining about the air con and demanding a warm blanket to wrap up in and could the air con please be switched off. While the rest of us sweated our tits off.

That's yoga all over in my experience. You only have to view the bullshit social media posts of yoga at the beach, paddleboard yoga, sunrise yoga etc. etc. Just fuck off and do it if you want to and stop performing

You missed the silent farter.

Are you one of the show-off? 😂

Further confirmation that I’ve made the right decision to do online yoga in the privacy of my own home. I didn’t care for the showy-off people who wanted everyone to see that they could go deepest into the pose. Deepest lunge. Closest to the floor. Most flexible.

Focus on yourself or leave if other people irritate you so much.

I do yoga at home from youtube. Other people are hell.

My own angriest moment was before a class when some bloke, still wearing his trainers, walked past where I was and stepped on my actual yoga mat. Gormless cunt.

How do I leave the planet, though?!

With Elon—I’m sure he’s a complete delight 100% of the time. Never twattish. Not ever.

I love my yoga 🧘‍♂️ made some great friends at my class. Really do not care who does what, the whole point of yoga is that it is non competitive. Our bodies are all completely different, you work to your own edge. Clear your mind of such thoughts, and focus on yourself. Namaste 🙏

Yoga is not about twisting your body into a pretzel. Yoga is about mindfulness, focusing attention on your practice and your inner space. Doesn't sound like you are doing much yoga. Practice more or find an aerobics class.

Is the heavy breather not just doing ujjayi breathing?

We have a grunting male in Pilates. It is offputting.

We also have a woman recovering from spinal surgery but insists on doing the advanced moves, so not only can't she do them properly, but she often grunts and cries out "ow" in pain.

I haven't seen her this week, but the instructor pulled her over at the end of class before Christmas and told her she needs to go back to beginner level until she's healed.

I don't normally know what anyone else does as I focus on my own matwork, but the grunting and crying out is bad form.

@Oodlesandoodlesofnoodles There was a farter in class yesterday. They weren't silent. 😳

Something I have learned is that the things that piss us off most are often our own 'shadow' stuff. The things we dislike so much about ourselves that we supress them completely, so that we probably act the complete opposite way.

Also, our body/mind sees no difference between judging others and judging ourselves. So this reinforces the shadow - 'show offs! I'M not like that, horrible lying attention-seekers!' So you become even less attention seeking.

But in completely suppressing that part of ourselves, and going the other way, we can neglect our needs. So maybe you have become too attention-avoiding, OP? Maybe you need someone to acknowledge you and your difficulties, and to appreciate the things you do in the face of adversity? Even if that person is only yourself?

I wonder how they would all describe you?

I both feel like you should focus on your own practice and also would utterly feel like you.

Hypocrite, me

You can always namaste at home.