Does anyone follow HayleyAnnCharles on Instagram?

[BellsandWhistlesGalore]

She's late 30s. Has an 11 year who lives with his dad and she sees at weekends and pays maintenance. She's the 'dad' basically. She gets so much hate for living her own life whilst having a child from men and women! Why can't she be 'dad' or nrp?

Of course she can (be nrp). But most people think it's a pretty low parenting bar, to only see your child fortnightly unless there are major extenuating factors. I don't know the person you refer to, I don't know why anyone would follow a random person celebrating the fact they don't see their child .

I only use instagram for hobby stuff. If any of these ‘influencer’ types pop up on my feed they get swiftly blocked. I couldn’t give a fuck what other people do with their lives.

why does she see the child only on weekends? What's preventing 50/50 care. It's lazy parenting unless there are other factors (I have no idea who she is, so no idea if she is too ill/disabled etc to take a more responsible parenting role). I think the same about dads who see their children only every other weekend but otherwise carry on with their lives. I look down at them equally. hth

she's is not the dad, she is the mother who see's her child on weekends...

is it so incredible to believe that there are some involved dad's out there and some mums who choose to be less involved?

She will regret this

Just had a look. She's the kind of insta account I can't stand.

But by many peoples standards having her child every weekend makes her a fantastic 'dad' as she says. Why can't a mother do that.

I don’t think it’s fantastic if Dads do it either. I think both parents need to be completely involved, 50/50 if possible although I do accept that can be unsettling for the dc too. (I left my dds dad when she was 6 months old, she’s 21 now and she barely sees him - his choice, so I know situations aren’t straightforward).

Not my sort of account anyway though - it’s all drinking wine and getting her boobs out.

I've never heard of her but after having a quick gander she seems like someone who had a baby but didn't want to give up her drinking/ socialising/ travelling lifestyle.

She's his mother not a 'dad' - he has a dad who is a full time parent. It's deeply weird and damaging to your family to make this sort of instagram account. Her son has not given consent to be used as a marketing tool. It's depressing.

I dont think a mother OR a father should do that.

She’s a shit parent, whether she’s mum or dad. And she’s exploiting her child for Instagram likes.

i don't know anyone who would call that fantastic parenting. You know weird people.

Why do you care, OP? It's a bit odd, getting all offended on behalf of someone you don't know. Why do you feel the need to "follow" anyone?

Yeah i've seen a few of her videos pop up, like most instagrammers she thinks pretty highly of herself and is pretty unlikable. However it seems the backstory is that until a couple of years ago the arrangement was the other way round, she was RP and Dad was EOW and it was the child's choice to change it, I think she was a SAHP too so I reckon all her protesting that she's happy is a defense mechanism. I think it was just a case of Dad's home with siblings and pets was more fun than mum's home.

My ex does 30 percent and apparently he's a fantastic father! Imagine if I did 10 nights a month. Would I be a fantastic mother?

I find it an interesting concept. I'm not getting offended for her or anyone else. A debate or conversation is taking place. This is what this site is for.

I don’t really get it from a very Quick Look at her account

she just seems to be obsessed with dating, drinking and going out

her son seems to be 11 - so perhaps may not seem to need her much day to day, but actually these years are formative so she may well regret not spending as much time as possible with him. Some of the real times when he will need her is during the week not the fun weekends

Are you the dad's girlfriend or something? Why do you care enough to make this post? It's weird to be so invested in a strangers life. Are you ok?

As above. This is a site to discuss. I follow this lady on Instagram as she travels alot and gives reviews of places. Are you OK my darling? Xmas sherry on the go? Abusing people online again?

Don't forget too her videos will be monetised so there will be an element of rage baiting, she's gonna say things to get other women riled up enough to comment on her videos.

I don’t follow her but one of her videos came up in my reels - I found it really uncomfortable. She was essentially saying “I was amazing at the baby stage but now he’s bigger he’s with his dad” and I just felt sad, like she was outsourcing parenting to the other parent and her son only gets his mum a little bit because she finds it difficult. So many deadbeat dads around so this does feel hypocritical but feels like she is opting out of co-parenting. You still have to be engaged as NRP.

why on earth would she be a good parent if she only sees her kid 2/7 days a week?! I wouldn’t say a man is a great dad if he sees his kids less than 30 percent of the time either

I completely agree and the double standard definitely does exist, people on AIBU will disagree for the sake of it. A mum doing 90% and making a mistake will be slated, a man doing that would be seen as a hero.

You're weird.
What a strange post.
What's your motivation? I doubt very much you want an actual discussion about if its OK for a woman to see her dc every other weekend.
At least you could be honest about it rather than hide behind a bollocks attempt at a debate.