Does anyone follow HayleyAnnCharles on Instagram?

[BellsandWhistlesGalore]

She's late 30s. Has an 11 year who lives with his dad and she sees at weekends and pays maintenance. She's the 'dad' basically. She gets so much hate for living her own life whilst having a child from men and women! Why can't she be 'dad' or nrp?

ETA DCs' dad sees them overnight once a week and that is considered alright by pretty much everyone. If I did that (which I would never want to but that's beside the point) I would be seen as scum of the earth.

I have seen her posts and did find her a bit defensive, her son does seem to prefer living with his dad and other siblings. It was his choice, but putting it all online does leave her ripe for criticism.

My issue isn't with her (I don't know anything about her life, never seen her, don't follow her or want to follow her) and how they have chosen to live their lives, but the double standards regarding parenting- men who only see their child once a week are fine, women who do the same are terrible mothers. Men who are rp are heroes, women who do it are just doing their parenting duties. The expectation on men is so low, and the bar is so high for women. It's insulting to both men and women that men are expected to be so crap as parents that anything standard is considered amazing. And women are judged so badly that even one slightly wrong choice amongst amazing and consistent parenting and they are ripped to shreds.

Fact any one would want to follow an influencer is pretty low bar anyway.

Must be a very sad existance to feel the need to follow and need reviews from some one so desperate for attention.

Your replies, seem to say you dont handle critisim well either. Thats part of being on a site to discuss also, may be some did not get the memo.

Just had a look. It’s a bit sad and extremely vacuous. She’s obviously trying hard to be an influencer.

I find her quite irritating in her posts but her parental situation seems to work for all of them. She used to be the resident parent but once her son was older he asked to live with his dad more. They live very close to each other so think she sees him quite regularly and she pays maintenance. Son has two very involved parents and an involved step mother so everyone seems to be working together for his best interests and happiness and apparently he has a great relationship with all three.

Don’t think it’s a weird post

op wants to debate the double standards between mothers and fathers

what an arrogant, unrelated post

Instagram has 2 billion users - all of whom will follow people.

and a majority of whom will follow at least one influencer or someone who they look at for inspiration

No decent parent only sees their child every two weeks. She’s a terrible mother.

I think she gets so much hate because:

• she’s pretty rude about men in general (I’ve heard her slag off men for describing their hobbies in pre date chit chat).
• she is very dismissive about any negative impact to Maxwell’s wellbeing due to her limited contact.

I like some of her content. Some of it is 🤨. Meh.

she just seems to be obsessed with dating, drinking and going out

Not looked at the account but if this is the case and she chooses to only see her child on weekends to facilitate that lifestyle, then she’s behaving in the same way as every other deadbeat dad and deserves the same bloody slow handclap.

I agree that no man behaving in this way would attract the same attention or approbation, which is the usual shit double standard, but I definitely wouldn’t try to justify or defend her choices, OP. Abandoning your own child is hardly a big win in terms of sticking it to the patriarchy, is it?

I doubt this very much.

For those praising Influencers on IG, and quoting how many users it has i think we can all draw our own conclusions fron 2024 user stats.

Yes influencers are desperate, as are their followers.

I don't know anything about her but f she's making her money by being a social media influencer then perhaps that's what her and the father of her child think is best. Maybe she makes loads of money doing it.

If she was a brain surgeon whose ex had the child during the week so she could work saving lives and making money then world that be OK?

I don't get it. Having a son the same age, I wouldn't voluntarily want to spend so much time away from him. I resent the time I do spend away from him which is only EOW and one night during the week, but I obviously know it's in his best interests to see his father too. I just could never willingly say "ok son see you in two weeks".

Her instagram is showy, fake, highly filtered and vacuous, exactly what you'd expect from a wannabe influencer. If she is prioritising that lifestyle over being a full time parent then she is indeed a twat. However nobody knows the motives or family dynamics so I'll reserve judgement on that.

I had the same set up, my son lived with his dad and I saw him at weekends and he's now a perfectly happy man in his late 20s and we have a perfectly healthy relationship.

This has made me think today. It’s a pretty sexist bastion.

I am lucky enough that I married and have stayed married to a wonderful husband and father. I’d have been broken hearted to have to split our children’s time between a split family. I would have expected to be the main parent if we divorced, but in reality, my husband is the better all-round parent. He’s a homemaker, nurturer, cook, teacher…It’s not always in the best interests of the kids to spend most of their time with the mum.

She’s so irritating, comes across as attention seeking and fake.