To think, sort your rules out (work)

questionqueeen2022 · 2024-12-30T09:30:24+00:00

I work full time have been here 6 years. Single mother of 2 children youngest 10 months. They know that I am a single mother due to DA as I had to tell them when I came back from mat leave i had left my abuser and so I am on my own with my kids and it may interrupt with work some times but I'll do my best for it not to. I'm expected to work weekends while I have my kids (absolutely fine! that's exactly what I signed up to) - no problem with kids here on the weekend when I'm scheduled to work. Christmas period - I am expected to work when kids are off and here and isn't an issue - absolutely fine no issues from my side. HOWEVER And this is what really bugs me. If they kids are in nursery and my youngest is called home poorly(mostly he isn't it's just his teeth and he sleeps it off) I'm told I have to log off and not be paid. I, as their mother, know when I can and cannot manage to do my job. So why would it make a difference if my DS is poorly in the week and for some reason they say I cannot work without discussing the severity of it, to him being poorly on the weekend or over the holidays and it is fine for me to work (because it suits them)? Can someone please shed light for me

cartagenagina · 30/12/2024 09:33

Do you mean you work from home exclusively? Or you take the DC to work with you? Sorry, it’s not that clear.

If you wfh, how would your boss even know you had picked your child up from nursery?

Slobberchops1 · 30/12/2024 09:35

I probably wouldn’t kick up a stink about this because you should not be working and looking after children.

if you start saying …. Oh it’s not fair why do I have to log off , they will pot reevaluate their policies and make you find weekend childcare

Original poster

questionqueeen2022 · 30/12/2024 09:36

cartagenagina · 30/12/2024 09:33

Do you mean you work from home exclusively? Or you take the DC to work with you? Sorry, it’s not that clear.

If you wfh, how would your boss even know you had picked your child up from nursery?

Sorry I didn't even confirm did I. I work from home, my apologies

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DrMadelineMaxwell · 30/12/2024 09:37

They're being v accommodating to be happy to allow you to wfh while you have your kids there on the times you detailed.

But I imagine they are right to think that a child ill enough not to be able to be in nursery would take more of your time and attention away from your work.

RegulatorsMountUp · 30/12/2024 09:38

Your post doesn't make any sense. If you work full time why are you working over Christmas and weekends? Surely you just work weekdays when kids are at school and factor in drop off/pick up times/use after school clubs etc? That's what I do - 35 hours full time compressed into 4 days and I use after school club and nursery for 3 of those days.

Original poster

questionqueeen2022 · 30/12/2024 09:38

DrMadelineMaxwell · 30/12/2024 09:37

They're being v accommodating to be happy to allow you to wfh while you have your kids there on the times you detailed.

But I imagine they are right to think that a child ill enough not to be able to be in nursery would take more of your time and attention away from your work.

This is even when my son gets home and is absolutely fine. Some nursery's send them home as they seem poorly but they sent him home 4 times and out of them 4 he only was poorly once. Other times, eating laughing babbling crawling loving life. Which work Kew about. As I said me as their mother know when they're not well enough to work it is just hard balancing both and the rule makes no sense to me surely it is all or nothing

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EmberAsh · 30/12/2024 09:39

It might be they've never thought about it too much before. If it works apart from this one small issue, I certainly would not be bringing it to their attention. The chances of losing more flexibility would be higher.

Original poster

questionqueeen2022 · 30/12/2024 09:39

RegulatorsMountUp · 30/12/2024 09:38

Your post doesn't make any sense. If you work full time why are you working over Christmas and weekends? Surely you just work weekdays when kids are at school and factor in drop off/pick up times/use after school clubs etc? That's what I do - 35 hours full time compressed into 4 days and I use after school club and nursery for 3 of those days.

Focus on the question asked. I do work full time and as the company needs cover over the holidays; we do them too.

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UnbelievableLie · 30/12/2024 09:40

If it's not actually contractually agreed you should be working over weekends and Christmas, stop?

RegulatorsMountUp · 30/12/2024 09:41

questionqueeen2022 · 30/12/2024 09:39

Focus on the question asked. I do work full time and as the company needs cover over the holidays; we do them too.

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Impossible to answer without knowing the context so YABU for that but also YABU for expecting them to let you work with a sick child at home. Best thing you could do is not tell them when you pop to nursery to pick up the sick child.

Original poster

questionqueeen2022 · 30/12/2024 09:42

EmberAsh · 30/12/2024 09:39

It might be they've never thought about it too much before. If it works apart from this one small issue, I certainly would not be bringing it to their attention. The chances of losing more flexibility would be higher.

Yeah... My point is though I am happy to work all times except of course if one of my babies is poorly and needs me. Nothing can be done if nursery tells me they can't go in. I'd never try working when my child is genuinely poorly and needed me but if they're fine then I can work. They just say that if the kids are there you can't give it full attention?

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Completelyjo · 30/12/2024 09:42

Totally normal for them to not want you to be working ineffectively while caring for a sick baby.
Very few employers will be happy to pay you normally to work around very young children.

cartagenagina · 30/12/2024 09:42

So can’t you just pick DC up and not tell them? Or get someone else to collect them?

TinyGingerCat · 30/12/2024 09:45

They are being very accommodating in allowing you to work whilst simultaneously caring for small children. Most workplaces would not allow this. Given they are kicking off about it when one of the kids is sick are you 100% sure that they know (and are ok with) you working when the kids are home? If you have not had this conversation with them and have assumed they are ok with it then I probably wouldn't push the issue for when the kids are sick and they don't want you to work. I'm sorry you are in the situation you are in but it is very unusual for employers to be ok with staff wfh when they are also caring for very small kids.

Yellowpingu · 30/12/2024 09:47

RegulatorsMountUp · 30/12/2024 09:38

Your post doesn't make any sense. If you work full time why are you working over Christmas and weekends? Surely you just work weekdays when kids are at school and factor in drop off/pick up times/use after school clubs etc? That's what I do - 35 hours full time compressed into 4 days and I use after school club and nursery for 3 of those days.

Full-time does not necessarily mean working 9-5 Monday to Friday!

RegulatorsMountUp · 30/12/2024 09:48

Yellowpingu · 30/12/2024 09:47

Full-time does not necessarily mean working 9-5 Monday to Friday!

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I know, I don't work 9-5 monday to Friday which is exactly what I said 😄

DowntonCrabbie · 30/12/2024 09:49

RegulatorsMountUp · 30/12/2024 09:38

Your post doesn't make any sense. If you work full time why are you working over Christmas and weekends? Surely you just work weekdays when kids are at school and factor in drop off/pick up times/use after school clubs etc? That's what I do - 35 hours full time compressed into 4 days and I use after school club and nursery for 3 of those days.

You don't make sense. You seem to think working full-time means 9 to 5 Mon to Fri. You can't possibly, surely? That would be idiotic.

RegulatorsMountUp · 30/12/2024 09:50

DowntonCrabbie · 30/12/2024 09:49

You don't make sense. You seem to think working full-time means 9 to 5 Mon to Fri. You can't possibly, surely? That would be idiotic.

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Nope I don't work Mon to Fri 9-5 which is exactly what I said. But it does make sense to work around school/nursery hours and use that time to work. The poster seems to suggest the weekends/holidays etc are extra (hasn't clarified) which is why I asked what her actual hours should be.

mitogoshigg · 30/12/2024 09:51

It is pretty standard in contracts to state that you must have child care in place for under 8's (or even older). You are fortunate they are letting you wfh sometimes with your dc. You cannot work and supervise such a young child without one, the other or both not being as effective

watchuswreckthemic · 30/12/2024 09:55

Lots of us are single parents and face the same challenges.
You should not be working with a young child or children at home.
Most employers have rules around this.
Is your question is 'well why do they let me sometimes as I should be able to pick?'

Original poster

questionqueeen2022 · 30/12/2024 09:58

watchuswreckthemic · 30/12/2024 09:55

Lots of us are single parents and face the same challenges.
You should not be working with a young child or children at home.
Most employers have rules around this.
Is your question is 'well why do they let me sometimes as I should be able to pick?'

Yes I just kinda think should we not all be agreed on if I feel I couldn't do my job I don't work but ofcourse I do want to do my job I don't want to be unpaid but ofcourse I do see their point. The bit I do not get is when it suits them it is ok if you know what I mean? Gosh I'm absolutely awful at trying to explain things over text sorry guys

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Chasingsquirrels · 30/12/2024 09:58

How do they know?

BenditlikeBridget · 30/12/2024 10:03

If you are genuinely working fulltime hours with a 10 month at home in your sole care that’s a safeguarding issue.

Yellowpingu · 30/12/2024 10:05

RegulatorsMountUp · 30/12/2024 09:50

Nope I don't work Mon to Fri 9-5 which is exactly what I said. But it does make sense to work around school/nursery hours and use that time to work. The poster seems to suggest the weekends/holidays etc are extra (hasn't clarified) which is why I asked what her actual hours should be.

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OP mentions ‘weekends
when I’m scheduled to work’ which suggests it’s part of her normal working pattern. Not all jobs have the potential to work around childcare.

Sirzy · 30/12/2024 10:06

It sounds like they give an awful lot of flexibility around childcare and working at the same time but they rightly have a line which is when a child is deemed poorly by nursery.