To think, sort your rules out (work)

[questionqueeen2022]

I work full time have been here 6 years. Single mother of 2 children youngest 10 months. They know that I am a single mother due to DA as I had to tell them when I came back from mat leave i had left my abuser and so I am on my own with my kids and it may interrupt with work some times but I'll do my best for it not to.
I'm expected to work weekends while I have my kids (absolutely fine! that's exactly what I signed up to) - no problem with kids here on the weekend when I'm scheduled to work.
Christmas period - I am expected to work when kids are off and here and isn't an issue - absolutely fine no issues from my side.
HOWEVER
And this is what really bugs me. If they kids are in nursery and my youngest is called home poorly(mostly he isn't it's just his teeth and he sleeps it off) I'm told I have to log off and not be paid.
I, as their mother, know when I can and cannot manage to do my job. So why would it make a difference if my DS is poorly in the week and for some reason they say I cannot work without discussing the severity of it, to him being poorly on the weekend or over the holidays and it is fine for me to work (because it suits them)?

Can someone please shed light for me

Your employer is presumably working on the assumption that you have adequate child care arrangements in place on the days when your children are at home.

Can you explain this OP? Why would you tell them? It doesn’t make sense.

Surely you can’t work effectively with a 10 month old at home? Either you’re neglecting your work or you’re neglecting your child in that situation. A ten-month-old needs proper supervision and entertainment, if you really are able to work properly with the baby at home that suggests to me you’re not looking after your baby properly. Are you just sticking baby in a playpen in front of the TV and ignoring for hours? That’s a real concern. I can understand why, if your baby has been sent home from nursery, work expect you to take the time off.

They’ve assumed you have found childcare for the extra shifts (or at least they can claim they have based on policies which require you to have it and because they have not explicitly found out otherwise) If you raise this you will lose the extra shifts.

I think I'd be reluctant to raise this in case the outcome was that they rescind the arrangement where they are "fine" with you working weekends and school holidays with the kids at home.

Many workplaces don't allow parents to be working from home when in sole charge of a child under a certain age. If you want/need to work weekends and holidays with the children there to make your hours up then don't rock the boat is my advice.

Every place I have worked at have had strict policies of not being able to work while caring for a child under the age of eight, it isn’t unusual.

It sounds like they don't actually realise you're trying to work from home with a baby at home in your sole care at the weekends and holidays. As others have said, this isn't really fair on your baby or your employer - you can't do either job well. If you raise the discrepancy it's much more likely they'll tell you it's a blanket ban on working from home with kids, regardless of whether you think you can do the job ok ish.

I wouldn't rock the boat, they'll start looking into what they are turning a blind eye to. Rules never make sense when you look into them, because life isn't black and white. Personally I believe flexibility with work has to go both ways, so I go the extra mile for them too.

Tbh if you're working from home you shouldn't be looking after children you should be working

It's absolutely reasonable that if you are called away to collect a child from nursery you aren't paid for that

Who minds them on the weekends? Can they support with ad hoc emergency nursery pick ups?

What does their time of for dependents policy say? There may be something in it thats says you can not work during these hours?

I’m amazed they allow it at all. Are you sure they don’t think you have someone else with you at weekends to look after the children?

Also, calling people thicko simpletons is really not okay.

I wouldn't push it OP you are unbelievably lucky to be allowed to work and look after your children at the same time, very few employers would allow that (for obvious reasons)

And I also wouldn't moan to your colleagues as they may complain to management and they stop it entirely for you

You sound lovely. Nevertheless, I am a professional working in a safeguarding related field and I am happy to repeat that what you’ve written gives me cause for concern.

I’ll remind you of your own words from your OP, just after you told us you worked fulltime and were in sole charge of two children, one of whom was a 10 month old baby:

“I am on my own with my kids and it may interrupt with work some times but I'll do my best for it not to. I'm expected to work weekends while I have my kids.”

From what you have typed, and perhaps you have left out some important details, I assure you there would be concerns. Who is keeping the baby safe during your weekend shifts? How old is the other child? Is this a 7 day a week nursery? What is the nature of your work?

As many other posters have told you, all responsible employers have rules in place about this and that’s not for fun, it’s for very legitimate reasons.

You say you are “expected to work” when your children are not at work/childcare - but the usual assumption from an employer would be that if you are scheduled to work, you arrange care for your children so that you are not doing both.

the way you said it made me wonder if you thought “well they know the children will be at home at the weekend and ask me to work so they must be accepting of me trying to work and do childcare at the same time”, which is really not the usual way of things.

I have no idea how you can even get any work done at all with a 10 month old?? I once tries to do a bit of work when my 10 month old was around and it was a disaster.

I actually wouldn’t tell them DC is poorly, and just have him home and working. There’s absolutely no difference between DC being unwell on a Tuesday or Sunday.

The only thing I can think of is you have an exception in place for weekends, and they are otherwise applying the general policy during the week. It’s very inconsistent though and the exception should be applicable for you at all times to avoid confusion. (Given child illness is more rare than weekend work - presumably).

If you have it in writing that your children can be at home with you whilst you’re working remotely, then they will struggle to uphold any kind of disciplinary action.
That said, do speak to ACAS for the most up to date and situationally relevant guidance.

Domestic abuse is awful, but I still don't understand why they 'needed' to be told about it after the problem was solved or why it's appropriate to say so I am on my own with my kids and it may interrupt with work some times but I'll do my best for it not to. You work for them.

If you have a nursery aged child, they aren't going to be safe playing totally alone for hours on end. They can't get there own drinks or food, possibly can't use the toilet themselves?

At work - 9-12 focusing 100% on work with maybe a 10 minute break to check your phone, have a wee, get a coffee. 12.30 to 5 repeat - maybe with a couple of breaks because it's a longer period.

At home are you really going to leave your child with no help with anything for those windows? Is you child not going to interrupt you at all? Are you not AT ALL conscious of where your child is or what he is doing in that time?

I have a 11 year old and still wouldn't be 100% focused on my work for those lengths of time if if was just the two of us in the house. That's with a child who is doing all personal care tasks completely alone, who is totally not even accidently going to need help with anything. I very much doubt that you actually don't think about your child's welfare or interact with you child, which you wouldn't do if he was at nursery. So what work say is fair.

It seems pretty clear to that what OP is describing is as follows:

1. she has a job that requires her to work weekends and public/school holidays
2. Her employer (having been told about her specific personal circumstances) has given her express permission to work with her children at home on those days
3. However her employer does NOT allow her to WfH with a child there if it is a day when the child would normally be in childcare, but has been sent home sick
4. OP says that her child could also be sick on a weekend/holiday that she is working, but her employer has not put in place any rule that says the child needs to be healthy in order for her to work while the child is at home.
5. Therefore, she thinks that they are not being consistent as she’d be allowed to work with a sick child at home if it was a weekend etc, but not a weekday.

I think the answer is fairly simple OP. It’s impossible for the employer to create a workable rule around your

judgment as to whether a child is sick or well, so they have to take it on trust on non-childcare days that you will not try to work if your child needs more care due to sickness.

However, if the child is sent home from nursery they have used that as an objective measure that the child is too sick to be cared for in the normal way. That may or may not be logical, as sometimes kids are sent home sick due to infection control factors that mean they should not be amongst others, but they are still well in themselves. However it is not a crazy yardstick to use.

In summary, your employer is being pretty reasonable here and is doing more for you than many would. This is not something to complain about.

I would be cautious about pushiung the "all or nothing" line, because it will end up being nothing, as in you will be out of work. Where I worked until recently (now retired - a very large local authority) you would never have been given permission to work from home whilst young children were in the house and under your supervision. In fact a highly paid Director was actually dismissed for looking after her grandchild whilst working from home. It is impossible to adequately supervise young children and also work efficiently - it breaches so many health and safety, insurance and safeguarding laws that the list would gop on for ever!

The law says that if your child is ill you mhave the right to unpaid time off to arrange alternative care for your child - not to continue working and get paid.

You have a gift horse that your employer is even allowing this, so stop examining its teeth.

Like others have said. If you make too big a thing of this they will rescind you working weekends with your dc there. How you do that I don’t know btw.

This seems like an accurate summary except I don’t think it is clear if point 2 is correct and the employer has given expressed approval for WFH while caring for children