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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My husband is acting is strangely

318 replies

Deppcandouno · 29/12/2024 21:11

My husband is acting in a very depressive manner and is reading bizarre meaning into things like adverts. He is also saying phrases that don’t make any sense like ‘we need to level up like super Mario’ and expecting that what he has said is normal. He keeps disappearing to do household jobs and is gone for an hour but has no recollection of what he has been doing. He has said he is concerned about his mental health and feels he meets the criteria to be sectioned. What do I do? Pl ease help.

OP posts:
YourGladSquid · 29/12/2024 23:46

@Deppcandouno can you call an ambulance to take him for you?

My DM has schizophrenia and has suffered psychotic episodes in the past, the sooner he gets help the better. He shouldn’t be roaming around outside til dawn.

Mirabai · 29/12/2024 23:48

Deppcandouno · 29/12/2024 23:42

I’ll get straight onto it in the morning. He’s wandering around outside at the moment to no particular end. And yes, you can all exclaim that I should intervene now, but our son is asleep and I can’t drag him to an and e. He has asd and lots of sensory issues.

In that case call an ambulance and let them take him.

Don’t muck about with psychotic episodes.

CrowleyKitten · 29/12/2024 23:49

he really doesn't sound like he's in a good place. especially if he's still able to recognise that voluntary sectioning might help him.
at the very least he needs to be able to talk to someone about his options. if he's talking about voluntary sectioning, he must be FEELING out of control and like he needs help.

when my husband was sectioned it was involuntary, under section 28. I can't imagine him asking for it. so he must be feeling pretty helpless.

that may or may not be the right action for him at this time but he definitely needs help and support right now, and is asking for it.

mental health teams can be seriously overloaded, especially at volatile times of the year like now, but reach out to any sources of help you can. GP, A&E, local mental health team (should be able to look them up) and be stubborn about setting something in action. even just knowing things are being acknowledged and people are trying to help him may help him feel more stable

Zucker · 29/12/2024 23:50

Call an ambulance. You know you need to intervene, don't look back at this episode and be left thinking, if only I had acted sooner.

Lilacbloomers · 29/12/2024 23:50

If you’re not reaching out for medical help tonight, I’d at least watch him all night. For everyone’s safety.

Mumbelle44 · 29/12/2024 23:50

Deppcandouno · 29/12/2024 23:42

I’ll get straight onto it in the morning. He’s wandering around outside at the moment to no particular end. And yes, you can all exclaim that I should intervene now, but our son is asleep and I can’t drag him to an and e. He has asd and lots of sensory issues.

I don’t think you can wait. A family member was acting in a similar way and was diagnosed with psychosis and was sectioned for 30 days. He could be a danger to himself and others. It sounds like he is willing to get help. Can you call an ambulance or ask someone to watch your son? X

ManchesterLu · 29/12/2024 23:53

Deppcandouno · 29/12/2024 23:42

I’ll get straight onto it in the morning. He’s wandering around outside at the moment to no particular end. And yes, you can all exclaim that I should intervene now, but our son is asleep and I can’t drag him to an and e. He has asd and lots of sensory issues.

Sorry but yes, you can. If he was having a heart attack would you wait until morning? This could be serious. Please take it seriously. You would hope that if you were unwell, he would do the same for you!

Edit: The confusion etc could be the result of an infection. He could be dead by the morning. I'm sorry for being "dramatic", but you really really really need to listen to us here.

Butteryscone · 29/12/2024 23:53

He could have encephalitis. He needs to be treated with antivirals/antiinflammatories/steroids.

Please do not risk him having further brain damage because it is inconvenient.

Heretobenosy · 29/12/2024 23:53

the threshold for someone to be sectioned is very very high. It’s if someone is at risk to themselves or others and cannot be managed in the community, if he’s saying he meets the criteria you need to consider if he understands that and if he is actually telling you that he is at risk.

just call 111, no need to go to a&e unless they tell you to. Get advice tonight, there’s every chance they will tell you to call his GP in the morning but I think for your own peace of mind you should get advice tonight

Canonlythinkofthisone · 29/12/2024 23:54

This is what ambulances are for. He's not drunk wandering around looking for a loo.
He is at serious risk of hurting himself, you, your DC, even a total stranger.
Call 999 and ask for help.
Would you say you'd wait til morning as the kid's asleep, if he was having a heart attack or symptoms of a stroke?
This place boggles me sometimes.

Endofyear · 29/12/2024 23:58

Please don't wait until the morning. It's vital that you get some help for him now. Call 111 and they can put you through to the local mental health crisis team. They will likely come out to you and make an assessment.

JFDIYOLO · 30/12/2024 00:00

Please call an ambulance now. It's cold and foggy and if he gets lost or in an accident it could get far worse. You have no idea what's causing it - you need professional help.

StScholastica · 30/12/2024 00:01

You have had excellent advice on here. Please do ring 111. The crisis MH team can often come to you. They will also screen for signs of infection and get an emergency ambulance if necessary.

FeliznaviDogs · 30/12/2024 00:01

Old a family member come over? It’s late, but I’m sure a relative or even a friend would come and help - just by being in the house whilst you go with H, if he is told to go to hospital.

What if it’s an infection and it’s moving to sepsis? I don’t want to sound all dramatic but I had a family member nearly die from this. They were admitted to hospital and put on IV antibiotics - at that point they were talking to dead relatives (they survived but it was touch and go).

I realise it’s stressful for you and you’re likely tired - but it could be a lot more stressful if it gets worse.

I hope you can get things sorted.

Allthehorsesintheworld · 30/12/2024 00:04

Your husband needs urgent medical help and I really don’t think you should be preventing this. IF it is something biological such as an infection he could well develop sepsis before morning. If it is the onset of a psychiatric episode he might self harm or harm you or someone else.
His behaviour is saying “ help me”. I’m sure you’d summon help for your child why not your husband?

Christmasbear1 · 30/12/2024 00:04

.

Iamnotalemming · 30/12/2024 00:06

I'm sorry you and your DH are going through this. It sounds very much like he needs assessment and support. I would probably ring 111 tonight for advice if I were you. If you decide to wait until the morning, I don't mean to alarm you, but you should hide any car keys from him and any medication or other things he could do harm to himself or others with, tonight.

Getting help is nothing to be ashamed of, try to think of it the same as a physical illness.

Bear65 · 30/12/2024 00:07

I can appreciate and understand this feels completely alien, because on the whole, we don't discuss severe mental health episodes the same way we do heart attacks, bleeds, broken limbs. I have been in your shoes before, and repeating the excellent advice here, please call 111 now. This is not just about supporting your husband, it's about keeping him and others physically and emotionally safe, as episodes of psychosis can quickly change in seconds. I am not trying to be dramatic but hoping you can learn from me who dithered about whether to call for help and it had consequences. Please call 111

Elphamouche · 30/12/2024 00:08

He needs urgent medical help, if he was having a heart attack you wouldn’t wait until morning and this has the potential to be just as serious. Get an Ambulance OP.

Icepinkeskimo · 30/12/2024 00:13

OP you’ve been offered some very good and wise advice by others on here. It’s always to be better safe than sorry, I am coming from a medical opinion (apologies but I deal in cold hard facts).
Do you believe this has been building up to this or is it completely out of character?
Is he currently on any medication? and if so is there a chance he has ceased taking them?
Has he been feeling ill, fatigued or stress over the last week?
There could be a number of reasons but seriously I am advising you to not wait till the morning, do not ring 111, ring 999 asap.
No one is judging, don’t even think that, people just hold out without seeking help, especially at this time of the year.
Please make that call.

Sunnycats · 30/12/2024 00:15

Please call an ambulance- this happened to our friend and actions were too late - he took his life. I'm not trying to scare you but this is so serious more than you may realise. Don't wait OP 🙏

YesIdolovehim · 30/12/2024 00:15

Ring 111 option 2 for the MH crisis team.
They will decide whether he needs to be seen tonight and if so either come out to you or send an ambulance.
Do it now OP.

Sosayallofus · 30/12/2024 00:16

He needs a full physical check up to rule out any toxins, drugs, medical conditions. If there is nothing medically (physiologically) wrong with him, he will need further treatment, by the sounds of what you have posted.

Imperrysmum · 30/12/2024 00:18

Wow, you are really letting him down right now

YesIdolovehim · 30/12/2024 00:25

Imperrysmum · 30/12/2024 00:18

Wow, you are really letting him down right now

It does seem strange she asked for help but seems to be ignoring the advice. No one has said to leave it to the morning.