Long post, here is the back story. I’m youngest of 3 siblings all in our 50s Dad died 15 years ago leaving terrible hole in family. Mum stubbornly stays living in a really difficult location (as children we moved around a lot) miles away from where us children have all settled with families. I live 7 hour drive away in England, my sister lives in Ireland (7 hour drive) and my brother is a 3 hour drive from Mum. We all have kids jobs etc, so the location of Mum can be a challenge, added to the fact that she now says she does not want to travel by train (understandable she is in 80s and partially sighted). We decided this year we would try to all meet somewhere for Xmas, this was openly discussed on siblings WhatsApp group, sister and I said let’s lets look into it, brother said nothing on messages (bit strange). I had limited time off at Xmas could not make full week (work commitments for me and husband) but could do Xmas days off. Spoke to Mum one day and she said no one had mentioned Xmas and she was worried she would be left on her own, I said we had been talking as children and hoped to sort something but if not she was welcome to come to mine for Christmas and I would of course not see her on her own. I then shared on sibling WhatsApp the conversation I had with Mum. Next news I speak with Mum and she tells me that she and my sister have been invited to my brothers house for Christmas and they are all going out for Christmas lunch as my sister in law does not want to cook. Oh I said, I thought we were trying to be to sort something thing for all of us? I was shocked so asked directly on the the sibling WhatsApp why this was I not consulted when we were trying to organise a whole family get together? My sister squirmed and tried to back track, my brother completely blanked me, I said how hurt I felt to not be consulted or included, especially as we could have gone along in our motorhome and parted on to their drive so as not to impose in their house. Still radio silence from my brother. I felt hurt and excluded and shocked. I talked to my Mum about it, she dismissed me saying don’t make a fuss and my sister knew how I felt and they both went ahead without challenging my brother. They then all rang me on Christmas Day as if nothing had happened (this is the first time I have spoken to my brother since raising how upset I felt and being ignored). At the end of Xmas week I am being called by Mum and sister as if nothing has happened. I told my sister how hurt and upset I was and she weakly called it a misunderstanding, how can it be I said, I have made it quite clear how I feel to her to my brother and Mum but no one listened and now they are acting as if nothing happened. So AIBU? I feel gaslighted by all of them, so shocked and disappointed that no one said why was I not invited? I thought I had a pretty good relationship with my siblings, when ai have discussed with friends who know my family they are also really shocked. I don’t want a big family fall out but feel that I deserve to be treated beter than this my my own family