Unflattering social media posts regarding those who can't answer back!

[Jobs4kids]

Such as children or people with dementia?

This is prompted by a friend posting yet another set of photos and video footage of their mother who has alzheimers looking a far cry from the vibrant woman she once was and clearly not having a clue what is going on. I cringe everytime, not least as my own mother also had alzheimers and I wouldn't have dreamt of posting photos of her looking like that. I rarely posted photos of her at all and, if I did, it would be a nice photo of her on her birthday or of when she was younger (which I did when she passed away). I know my mum wouldn't have been happy if I had posted unflattering photos of her in latter years and certainly not of her being spoon fed her dinner or making reference to her soiling herself, like this friend has done.

It's quite a close friend but I won't be saying anything as, although I know a few mutual friends feel the same way, we're clearly in the minority judging by the large number of likes and "awww bless her" type comments they receive. All we can do is continue not like or comment and scroll past.

AIBU?

I don't know why they do it. And ones ones of loved ones in hospital days from death from terminal cancer. Very bad taste.

Something's should remain private.
I remember when Dw son was on life support one of his friends wanted to take a photo..an ICU nurse put him right.

Someone on my FB took and posted photos of his mum in ICU. She had sepsis, was unconscious, and hooked up to machines.
She recovered and made him remove the photos. Was furious that her dignity had been violated like that.

Yes it's a real invasion of privacy if she isn't aware of them . I'd have to ask the friend what she thought her mother might think of her postings .

I agree.

Surely no one wants to be seen in public at their absolute worst and most vulnerable?

You are definitely not unreasonable. No idea why anyone would do that :(

It probably depends on the prognosis. I know someone who took photos of her son who was on life support. She was allowed to take photos as the support was going to be removed (resulting in his death).
But, she still put them on FB... which was a bit wrong tbh, but it was probably her way of processing and dealing with it all.

Death was the outcome and dw certainly didn't want anyone having pics of her dying son.

Awful, thoughtless behaviour from your friend. Crass posts at the expense of someone else for likes and attention.

This absolutely infuriates me.
I see so many videos of vulnerable people (be it ill, disabled, young) who can't consent with fucking cameras shoved in their faces so they can "perform" to make a viral post. It's disgusting. My grandmother would have been devastated if she realised I had filmed her confused and upset. All so people can say 'ahhhh how sad' in the comments and push up the views.

She’s putting her need for attention above her mother’s dignity. It’s vile.

I got one in my feed on Instagram recently. A dying tot if around two singing to her mum with the camera fixed on her. Apparently she died minutes after. People have gone mad. Where has dignity and respect gone?

I would have to say something. Just a text asking if her mother would like that. It’s horrendous and maybe she would be shocked if she realised what a mistake she’s made doing it. You’d be doing her a favour in my view.

It really pisses me off too.
In one of the local FB groups, someone posted a picture of a lady who was very scantily clad (def not weather appropriate) and splashing about in puddles like a kid. They posted it with the intention of people to take the piss out of her.
Someone recognised the lady as her mum. She had bipolar and was going through a manic episode. She gave the person who took the pics, and posted them, absolute hell, and rightly so.

My own DP has been filmed when having an autistic meltdown in public. People think it is funny. I don't.
I have also had people film me too when in MH crisis.

It’s horrible and like most posts on Facebook it’s all about attention. It’s not allowing her mum any dignity whatsoever and I would be furious if someone was to post pictures of my mum like that.

I agree, can't stand this

I follow some sen mums and dads on tiktok, for tips and advice for dd.

There's some who you have to avoid because they so clearly don't respect their kids 😐

100% agree with you - would you want your child posting on the internet about how you've soiled yourself, and if not, why on earth would you do it to your own parent? It's truly awful. Well done you for protecting your mum.

Oh I can't stand it. A local young lad died recently and a family friend posted a photo of her and him on a community page and he looked so so unwell. I know that he wasn't seeing friends towards the end as he was so self conscious and it was just a total disregard for his feelings - and his families because they hadn't posted recent pictures either.

I completely agree. It's a completely disgusting grab from attention at the expense of their loved ones dignity.

Glad it's not just me and that noone (so far) thinks this is ok, I definitely think it's attention seeking. Bit baffled by the likes, although there were only around 30, which for someone with around 500 fb friends is not a lot really I suppose?

Plus even if my mother didn't care, I know my siblings would've been fuming!

Agree with every poster here. Sometimes I can’t get my head around the difference in people’s sensibilities!

It’s horrible attention seeking behaviour.

I believe no one should be posting images of people that are in kind of distress, pain or discomfort. The hospital ones are the worst, and it’s done for sympathy points, posting it open social media. But I also feel exactly the same way about people posting images of their children’s entire lives, from the very first scan, for the world to see. Why? What about the child’s privacy? Have they consented to this? This is the really bad thing about social media.

I agree. It's a massive problem (I think anyway). Somebody I went to school with posts her DD entire life on social media from her school bullying issues, medical diagnosis, when she's been ill and incontinent, unflattering photos of her asleep or in hospital...she's now 13 and it's still going on. I deleted her last year as I don't want to be an audience to it anymore.