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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

...to still be afraid of starting HRT?

56 replies

ohime · 29/12/2024 10:31

Hello collective wisdom, and many thanks in advance for reading a very long post (which is probably a question lots of people have already asked). I'm seeking some AIBU and WWYD advice because I don't feel that my doctor is taking my concerns seriously. This could mean of course that my concerns aren't serious - thus the reality check!

I'm 58 and have been post-menopausal for quite some time, I think around four years. My menopause, as I perceived it, started around 52 and lasted for around two years with mild symptoms, mostly hot flushes and brain fog. I was happy to endure these, as I'd always had painful periods and was looking forward to leaving them behind. When it all seemed to stop I thought I'd got off lightly, without needing to resort to HRT.

I was prescribed it though, by a young doctor who, to me, seemed oddly cavalier about the risks. At the time my genetic makeup and family history were completely unknown (my mother was adopted and I never knew my father); for all this doctor knew, every female relative on both sides of my family could have died of breast or ovarian cancer, and yet she didn't seem to think caution was called for, which I found odd.

I'm part of the lost generation in relation to HRT, due to the Million Woman Study and its fallout where the medical establishment was completely freaked out about hormones and basically stopped prescribing them. They seem to have started up again with a vengeance though, and to me it looks like they're now pushing HRT for everyone under a blanket notion that the benefits always outweigh the risks.

Having just turned 58 I'm suddenly experiencing more symptoms, and they're much worse than the previous ones: copious night sweats where you wake up in a horrible chilly puddle, complete body temperature dysregulation (so I'll be boiling when it's freezing in a room, or freezing when it's 21 degrees), and extremely painful musculoskeletal issues - my right hip, for example, hurts so much that when I get up from a chair I can't stand, and would fall over if I didn't hold on to something. But even worse is the rage. About stupid, small things. I've always been very even-tempered - I told a friend the other day that I'd been ranting and cursing and throwing things around in fits of pique, and she didn't believe it - so this is making me feel like I'm losing myself. Back to the doctor, who - no surprises - has prescribed HRT.

This time I'd had a DNA test. I don't have either of the BRCA genes or any other cancer genes, but apparently I have an 'increased risk' (16%) of breast cancer, although the reasons why are somewhat opaque. In her 80s, my mother said she had a breast lump which her doctors were 'watching' rather than doing anything about; I never really knew much about it, but it added to my general paranoia!

Part of the background is that I had a friend who died of breast cancer several years ago, at around my age, after enduring several years of really horrible chemo. Coupled with the bad publicity HRT has received during most of my adult life, and with whatever was going on with my mum, I feel like my own judgment is very coloured, but then again my paranoia may be justified. So, AIBU? And WWYD? Even if you just have a minute to vote YABU or YANBU, it would be extremely helpful in the reality-check department and I'd be very grateful. And I promise not to throw anything or curse (much)...

OP posts:
Whyherewego · 29/12/2024 10:36

If I were you, I'd spend a bit of time researching that study so you can feel more comfortable with your options. This podcast I think is good
https://peterattiamd.com/joannmanson/

Basically that study has since been pulled apart and the conclusions drawn by the popular press were not correct. But that's not to say HRT is right for you. You need to weigh up the different factors. But know that it can also help reduce risk of other things such as heart, osteoporosis which are in fact a higher risk for women.
I'd definitely consider HRT if I were you.

#253 ‒ Hormone replacement therapy and the Women’s Health Initiative: re-examining the results, the link to breast cancer, and weighing the risk vs reward of HRT | JoAnn Manson, M.D. - Peter Attia

“It’s so important for women to understand that the absolute risks of these hormones are much lower in early menopause than in later menopause.” —JoAnn Manson

https://peterattiamd.com/joannmanson

tellmesomethingtrue · 29/12/2024 10:36

Why would you be scared of taking a medicine that can help improve your symptoms?

Aparecium · 29/12/2024 11:06

I am the same age as you, and have been on HRT for over 15. My GP emphasised to me how important it was for me to protect myself from osteoporosis. There is no history of BC in my family, though there are other cancers, and I am awaiting BRCA test results.

My perspective is why suffer needlessly? You are suffering now. You have an 'increased risk' of BC - is that 16% higher than female population in general, or 16% overall? You are suffering now and worrying about something that may actually be a very low risk.

If you are simply 16% more likely to develop BC than other women, would you consider taking HRT and monitoring more actively and frequently?

ToomanyMilesAway · 29/12/2024 11:08

Firstly it's a mistake to think you are ever finished or through menopause. Secondly have you ever taken any prescription drugs ? In that case you have had a " risk" with those. You need to have an expert view on the actual risk. I would suggest you have a look at some of the videos and podcasts by

www.drtinapeers.com/menopause-management

MagpiePi · 29/12/2024 11:31

Being overweight, drinking alcohol and smoking greatly increase your chances of getting breast cancer than taking HRT.

bridgetreilly · 29/12/2024 11:34

Honestly, the risks with HRT were massively exaggerated. It’s really safe.

Teeshirt · 29/12/2024 11:50

I got breast cancer after being on HRT for about a year. There are different types of breast cancer, and the one I got has a definite link to HRT. The incidence of it has doubled in about ten years, I think. I was genetically tested, and HRT is one of the things they ask about (other things being hormonal contraception and pregnancy and breast feeding). I was fit, slim, plant-based diet, a non-drinker and non-smoker. I would never take HRT.

Cynic17 · 29/12/2024 11:56

It's your choice, OP.
Lots of people will advise you to take it. That's fine.
But it's not compulsory. I am 59, I have never taken it and never will. And there are plenty of us out there.
HRT is very fashionable at the moment, but it's not for everyone. So just do whatever you want.

Dunkou · 29/12/2024 11:59

I've taken HRT for 11 years, I have no concerns.

I took it immediately on reaching menopause though, I would be a bit concerned if I'd had a gap of a few years between menopause and starting to take it. If I had the symptoms you have though I would still take it.

DisplayPurposesOnly · 29/12/2024 12:00

I'm 57 and don't have the same perspective as you at all. I'm not sure if I've been asleep or you're madly paranoid 😆 I've happily been on HRT for two years.

I think it would help to understand that 16% increased risk of breast cancer. What does that actually mean? Eg, if the usual risk is 1% and your increased risk is 1.16% I'd say the HRT benefits outweigh that risk.

I think PP's point about your current suffering is a good one. Why not try the HRT, say for 3 months, and see how you get on? It doesn't have to be a lifetime commitment.

ToomanyMilesAway · 29/12/2024 12:02

Cynic17 · 29/12/2024 11:56

It's your choice, OP.
Lots of people will advise you to take it. That's fine.
But it's not compulsory. I am 59, I have never taken it and never will. And there are plenty of us out there.
HRT is very fashionable at the moment, but it's not for everyone. So just do whatever you want.

Fashionable? That's a strange word to use for a medical prescription. It's demeaning actually towards women. Would you use the word "fashionable " to describe Taxotere?

VesperLind · 29/12/2024 12:03

There are many more women who need HRT and would benefit from it than there are women taking it. It’s a personal decision for you having done your homework and understanding the balance of risk. As pp has said, there are many other lifestyle factors that are far riskier than HRT, which the HRT naysayers never address.

Barney16 · 29/12/2024 12:13

I'm older than you and have taken HRT for six years. There's no way I would stop taking it because before I did my life was utterly miserable. It gave me my life back. Someone said earlier it's fashionable. It's not fashionable it's a prescribed drug that has undergone extensive testing that provides multiple benefits. Many women still are not able to access HRT (if they want it) which is a disgrace. Having had my short rant, OP it's your personal choice. If you feel the risk is too great then don't proceed. You may find a private specialist helpful if you can afford it because they may give you more time to discuss and answer any questions you may have.

ohime · 29/12/2024 12:19

Wow, amazing - this is so helpful. I'm reading every reply, although I won't have time to respond until later. Thank you all so much! This is like having a friend group of hundreds to talk things over with, rather than the usual three (dwindling to one after you've gone on about the same issue for weeks without reaching any conclusion)😂

OP posts:
Notsuchafattynow · 29/12/2024 12:25

It's a personal decision. My DM died of breast cancer, so I was very cautious. What helped me was watching the Davina Mcoll (sp) program about menopause which helped my decision as it debunked some myths.

It's helping me stay in my fast paced job which I love, as I no longer have brain fog and The Rage which was making me difficult to work with and for.

Wendolino · 29/12/2024 12:30

I've been on oestrogen only (had a total hysterectomy) HRT for 15 years. I was late 40s when I went into surgical menopause (hell on earth). I'm on a low dose patch. I feel great and have no intentions of stopping and my GPs agree. A patch doesn't carry the stroke and blood clot risk that a tablet does.
Why not try it and see how it suits you? Ask for a patch then you can forget about it most of the time

Prettydisgustingactually · 29/12/2024 12:35

@ohime
I’m going to send you a pm

GetDressedYouMerryGentlemen · 29/12/2024 12:36

My mum is in constant pain from bone degeneration and can't walk more than meters at a time. The contrast with still fit and well MiL who is the same age is stark. So as you don't know your family history you could have female relatives with breast cancer, but similarly you could have female relatives with bone density problems. For me it was a no brainer to begin HRT as soon as I could and I will remain on it for as long as I can.

GreyCarpet · 29/12/2024 12:36

I'm 50. No HRT bit I'm starting to feel symptoms.

Anyway, I have a friend who was on HRT in her 50s. She was told she couldn't stay on it any longer due to the increased risk of breast cancer.

She researched it and decided that the increased risk was worth it. Her reasoning was that it was only an increased risk amd not a guarantee but that her life right 'now' was impacted so severely by the symptoms that it was worth the additional risk to enjoy the life she had.

She's a now retired GP.

Willyoujustbequiet · 29/12/2024 12:49

Personally I would never take it.

My best friend has just been taken off it and told she's now at high risk of cancer because apparently they got the dosage wrong.

Too much negative anecdotal evidence in my social circle for me to consider it.

Aparecium · 29/12/2024 12:55

She researched it and decided that the increased risk was worth it. Her reasoning was that it was only an increased risk amd not a guarantee but that her life right 'now' was impacted so severely by the symptoms that it was worth the additional risk to enjoy the life she had.

110% this.

MatildaTheCat · 29/12/2024 12:58

I have been on HRT in various forms for over a decade. Currently gel oestrogen, Mirena coil, vaginal oestrogen cream and testosterone. It has been reviewed and agreed by an nhs menopause specialist doctor and I feel better for it.

However it hasn’t been some kind of magic bullet that has restored eternal youth as seems to be the headline by some campaigners. I’m still forgetful, cranky and achey. I imagine I’d be much worse without it. It switched my hot flushes off like a light switch though and has to some degree restored my libido.

RuthW · 29/12/2024 13:03

I was similar to you. Post meno but about three years. Age 56. No major symptoms except joint pain. Like you I was struggling with mobility at times.

I started HRT a month ago. No side effects. I will give it three months to see if I feel better and if not I'll stop. To me the benefits of mobility outweigh the risks of breast cancer.

So far, pains are slightly reduced.

BoredZelda · 29/12/2024 13:06

without needing to resort to HRT.

"Without using the medication that has been developed for decades to support women when their bodies go through hormonal changes"

I wouldn't be without it, it's been a lifesaver.

Prettydisgustingactually · 29/12/2024 13:07

Barney16 · 29/12/2024 12:13

I'm older than you and have taken HRT for six years. There's no way I would stop taking it because before I did my life was utterly miserable. It gave me my life back. Someone said earlier it's fashionable. It's not fashionable it's a prescribed drug that has undergone extensive testing that provides multiple benefits. Many women still are not able to access HRT (if they want it) which is a disgrace. Having had my short rant, OP it's your personal choice. If you feel the risk is too great then don't proceed. You may find a private specialist helpful if you can afford it because they may give you more time to discuss and answer any questions you may have.

@Barney16
Interesting post! In what way was your life miserable before and how has it helped you? Has it helped with aches and pains for instance?