Hi all,
I feel awful writing this but I need some perspective. This year I was really lucky and had the most amazing Christmas with my fiancés family. For various reasons we haven't done Christmas with his family before, my parents always guilted me into spending it with them.
Christmas with my family has always been a little underwhelming, even as a kid. My parents were never the type to make a show of Christmas, decorations were minimal, dinner was all premade stuff and the whole day just sort of dragged. They have never been thoughtful gift givers preferring to just give money to get your own thing etc.
Now I don't fault this, if this is how they like Christmas then great.
Fiancés family are the opposite. His aunt and uncle hosted for us, his brother, his parents and grandparents and for his cousin and her lovely little girl.
In the morning we woke up late, and opened presents, my fiancé had put so much thought into the gifts, and he was genuinely excited to see me open them. Even down to the wrapping which included bows and ribbons and he was like a kid excitedly saying "look it has polar bears and it's green it's your two favourites" like he really thought it all through. We then got dressed up which is totally alien to me at Christmas as a pyjama family but it was lovely.
When we got to his aunt and uncles we did the gift exchange there and it was the same, all gorgeously wrapped, really well thought out considerate presents. His family have a rule where the "grandparent" generation cook, so his aunt and uncle and his parents sorted all of dinner. Apparently it's so as our generation have more kids (only his cousin has a kid so far) we get to spend Christmas with them and playing with them without worrying about cooking. Which again just feels so thoughtful. So when they went off to cook, my fiancé and his brother and cousin set up the toy car race track they'd got for the little girl and everyone raced their cars. She loved it and it was so refreshing as if it was my parents, we'd have been sat silently in front of the telly!
Dinner was incredible, salmon roulade starter, goose and beef wellington for main with all the trimmings, proper Christmas pudding and a lovely trifle.
After dinner we all went a walk and stopped in the pub, which again was just nice to be out for a little as my family would never do that.
Back in, film on but there was no pressure to be quiet and watch, half of us were on the floor with the little girl playing with her toys, it just felt so festive. The conversation was lovely, no one was shouting or arguing.
Once the little girl went to bed we all played games.
In all my life I've never had such a lovely Christmas. I've never felt so cared about. The effort was incredible and you could tell they all really loved doing it.
His family also go all out for new years, host a party etc.
Now we are TTC and my mum knows. She keeps going on about how if I get pregnant soon she will get babies first Christmas since we spent this one with my fiancés side. But honestly I don't know if I could go back to my parents for Christmas ever again. It's so much more festive and well thought out at my fiancés and it felt so welcoming and fun.
AIBU to think that for as long as I'm with my fiancé and his family are hosting Christmas like this (which they have done more or less every year of his whole life so not likely to stop soon), id rather go there and have a lazy Boxing Day with my parents? Or is it on me to make sure i see my parents at Christmas too even if I enjoy it less?