Hubby asking me to speak english all the time

[ChineseMom]

I'm chinese and my husband was born in China and moved to France at 14. We moved to the UK a few years ago and since then, my husband asked me to speak english at home even with our baby. He told me that he wants to train his english. What's your thought?

He wants you to teach him english?

I think it would be good practice.

Speak in Chinese all the time, he will be slower to learn English but in the long term him speaking two languages will do much more for his brain development and future prospects.Even better if your husband speaks French and he picks up English at school/nursery.

you should presumably be raising your child to be bi-lingual. My ex didn’t speak a word of English until primary, and it hasn’t impacted him. You’d never know if you spoke on the phone that English wasn’t his first language. Maybe one speak English, one your native language

Unnatural if your mother tongue (both) is not english. He needs to practice his english just living his life in the UK (work collegues, other friends, watching tv, listening the radio...), not with you.

In an understand it if he wants to improve his English. But with the baby I can understand why you would want to speak Mandarin etc (sorry I don’t know if that’s the right language) at home with baby. Maybe you reach a compromise?x

For multi lingual households it's normally one parent one language, someone in the house needs that language to be English so he isn't hindered when he starts school.

Are you fluent in English? Do you read books and sing songs in English or your mother tongue or do a bit of both? Which languages is your DH fluent in? What language does he speak to little one in?

It's better for your son to learn Mandarin by hearing it at home.
Your husband is better off practising English with others who genuinely do not speak Chinese or French or listening and watching things in English than trying to learn through you.

Regardless if it would be good practice or not; it is unreasonable to expect you to speak one language all the time to benefit him. If he wants to benefit him, and improve his English; then he can speak it.

No, you need to speak Chinese with your baby. Speak English with your husband if you want to, but Chinese with the children. They'll have plenty of exposure to English so can grow up fully bilingual.

Make sure your baby is bilingual. It is not just the language ability that is enhanced it is memory and so many more brain functions.

Hubby can practice English with the baby when the baby starts school.

Does hubby speak French? Your kids could be trilingual!

You should speak your mother tongue to your child. What a great skill they will have being bilingual and trilingual if French is spoken by your dh. Your dh can get lots of English practice outside the house and also through tv etc

Speak Chinese to your baby if that is your mother tongue. Your baby will learn English fluently by living in the UK.

If you are staying in the UK your son will be surrounded by English and will be fluent by the time he is in nursery/ school regardless of which language you speak at home. He won’t have any opportunities to learn Chinese outside of your home though, if you don’t speak to him in Chinese there’s a good chance he will never be confident in the language. I think it would be foolish not to speak Chinese with him at home.

I believe one parent one language is a common way to raise bilingual children. So if your husband wants to teach his son English, he can speak it and you can solely speak Chinese.

Please teach your child both languages, I work in early years and we have a few bilingual 3 and 4 year olds and it’s wonderful to see them swap between both languages depending on who they are speaking to.

Babies are born with the natural ability to distinguish phonemes from almost all languages. If they don't hear them, they gradually lose that ability. So your child, just hearing English will be able to distinguish r and l, typically hard in some Asian languages but not sh from the similar sound in 谢谢
Xièxiè
Which English speakers find hard to distinguish. You may never get that ability back once it's lost.

Speak Mandarin or Cantonese to your baby. English to each other if you choose that.

I know quite a few multilingual families and all of the parents spoke their mother tongue to the kids.

Even where neither parent spoke English the kids had lots of exposure to it through tv, seeing interactions between parents and English speaking friends, and then at school and nursery. If your child is growing up in England they will definitely end up speaking the language fluently and like a native speaker regardless of what language you speak to them in at home. You have the potential to give your child(ren) a massive and amazing gift - don’t waste it! I only wish I could speak another language and give this to my children.

Eg of the families I know in London:
Italian mum, French dad, each parent speaks their own language to the kids and English to each other - kids now trilingual

French mum, English dad - parents speak own language to kids and French to each other - kids bilingual

Chinese parents - speak only Chinese at home, bilingual kids who learned English when they started school

Personally I’d speak to your child in your mother tongue. My mother didn’t teach me her language and only spoke to me in English, and as a result I now can’t communicate with my extended family. Being bilingual is a real bonus for a child - they will pick up English easily from nursery, school etc.

this^

I used to meet a trilingual child in the coffee shop I went to before covid

He could speak `Russian to his mother, French to his father and English he lent from nursery to me - If a child can learn like this at an early age they will also be able to pick up other languages much easier than their peers who only learn one language.

Your husband is being shortsighted and in likelihood its not the practise with you at home that will help his English it's with people he can't suddenly switch to another language with, its with people with different accents of English and different expressions. At home he should listen to English radio, bbc 4 is good and clear.
Prioritise that your child learns Chinese because he will always asked or assumed to speak it plus it's an amazing language with great career options.

It'll be harder for your baby to learn your mother tongue at a later date than it'll be for him to learn English from nursery/school age.

Speak your own language to your baby. The English will take care of itself as he gets older.

I'm trying to become bilingual now as an adult. My dd is autistic so isn't taking in anything but I'm trying with little phrases every day

Definitely speak chinese(or mandarin? sorry for ignorance) at home to your children and french too! They'll learn English at school and its the best thing you can do for them!

Please speak Chinese to your baby. You can speak to your husband in English, but do not deprive your child of this amazing opportunity. They will learn English at nursery/school.

My controlling ex-husband used to shout at me when I spoke to the kids in my mother tongue. Consequently they now don't speak it. It makes me really sad 😔

No you should speak your mother tongue to bang it will learn English at school

What a great opportunity to be bilingual with no effort on babies part. Don't let baby miss out on knowing both of these incredibly useful languages.