Hubby asking me to speak english all the time

[ChineseMom]

I'm chinese and my husband was born in China and moved to France at 14. We moved to the UK a few years ago and since then, my husband asked me to speak english at home even with our baby. He told me that he wants to train his english. What's your thought?

My husband's Aunt is French, and she spoke to her son in both French and English. He is fluent in both languages. My friend's Mum is English and her Dad is Italian, yet she was never taught Italian by her Dad. If you have the opportunity to teach your child multiple languages from birth, then do it. It's far better to teach them young, then try to teach them once they are in school.

1 Parent 1 language works fine - and English too when out and about would be absolutely fine - the child's progress might seem a little slower, but I promise it's not a problem later on.

My friend's child speaks 3 languages at 3 (obviously, 3 year old level of speaking!) because his parents both speak different languages, and then they live in the UK so he has to speak English at nursery - he's a lovely, happy kid, and already very good at choosing which language to use with whoever he's speaking to (although it helps I have a smattering of one of his other languages)

If your baby grows up not speaking Chinese, this will cut him off from his culture and will affect him for his whole life. Please speak to him in Chinese - the English will happen by itself.

One parent one language seems to be recommended a lot on here but none of the multilingual families I know follow that method. And even with one parent one language it doesn't need one parent to speak English, baby will pick up the community language from living in the community. Dad could speak French and mum her native tongue and baby would still pick up English.

I would speak to baby in your native language and would also see if there are any schools or playgroups in that language near where you are.

Although, is it worth asking your DH what his experience of moving to France as a teenager was? As that sounds like it would have been quite challenging and perhaps your DH is trying to protect your baby? Maybe remind him that your baby would have a different experience to that if he grows up speaking 2 or 3 languages.

I'm non white in the UK and so are a number of my friends and we're always assumed or straight up talked to in languages of countries we look like we are from even if our names are fully anglosaxon and my friends who only speak English are ripped from both sides for not speaking the language of their heritage. I wouldn't assume based on someone's features because i know there are many reasons why they might not, some sensitive and personal but so many people are so clumsy and ignorant. Your child will benefit a lot from speaking the language of their ethnic heritage even if it's just conversational non written.

Another point about your husband's English is adults take ages to master a language, he should be realistic about it and prioritise your child's future.

I don't think it helps that people don't really understand how babies acquire language. Adults 'learn' languages. Babies come pre-programmed with language. It's innate. What direction that innate ability takes is up to us, but language acquisition in babies is hard-wired.

Which is why babies never say, "I'm terrible at languages" like adults do. They aren't performing the same task you are when you do Duolingo!

As many phonemes in as many different language families as possible. I have a lot of Scottish, Polish and Irish family. I don't speak Polish or Gaelic. But when I try to learn Slavic or Altaic languages the teachers are always stunned I can make the guttural noises required. Rolling r as well. But it's because I learned those noises as a baby. They are pre-installed.

I believe (IIRC) the only noises that aren't innate and have to be learned by babies are the clicks in Southern African languages. And they involve different mouth anatomy so we're all struggling with those if we weren't born there to local parents.

Give your child the gift of YOUR language. Your child will be bi-lingual. Your DH can speak English and you speak Chinese, your child is growing up in the U.K. - English will not be an issue and if you only speak to them in yours they will be bi-lingual. We have many friends who’s kids are bi-lingual for this reason.
ignore him feeling ‘left out’ he has the option of improving his Chinese too!

Stick with your mother tongue with your child. English will take care of itself.

100% you should speak to your baby in Chinese. They will pick up English at school and be flawlessly bilingual.