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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

NHS workers help!

60 replies

harlacem0507 · 28/12/2024 18:19

Cut a long story short my husband broke his collarbone 3 days before Christmas playing football. He's got his arm in a sling, in absolute agony, sleeping in a chair and on pain meds. We have 3 children, 10,8 and 18 months. Basically he can't do anything for them especially the baby, he can't pick her up to put her into a highchair, put her down for a nap, get her up from a nap, change her nappy, nothing. Not his fault at all, my issue here is my work. I am a part time nurse on a ward and for the last 3 shifts I've had to go in late (8:30am rather than 7am) or leave early (5pm rather than 7.30pm) all due to the baby needing breakfast/dinner/bedtime etc, during the day his mum or mine help him but it's not always possible as they both work too and I'm not happy asking my 10 year old to do all this extra work. Work are now getting fed up saying I can't keep going in late or leave early as it's leaving the ward short (I totally understand) but unfortunately I have no carers or annual leave left to take and I'm honestly stumped at what to do. My manager said to talk to her next week but has anyone got any experience with this? One nurse told me to go off sick but I'm not the one who's ill, however, I can't manage it all? Any advice is greatly appreciated!!

OP posts:

TwinklyAmberOrca · 29/12/2024 08:36

Could the 18 month old nap in a pram that lies flat so your DH could rock it gently if they need settling?

Either take unpaid parental leave or offer to pay someone else you know to help. Perhaps a student at home for the holidays would appreciate the extra money?

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 29/12/2024 08:42

MrsGnome · 28/12/2024 18:23

Can you use parental leave? In my NHS trust we get one week paid per year (per child). It does usually have to be booked in advance but my manager has approved this the week before I've used it.

The law states you can have upto 4 weeks per annum per child

sashh · 29/12/2024 09:54

harlacem0507 · 28/12/2024 21:29

Great idea in theory but my baby is not always a great sleeper and sometimes needs picking up and comforting, again, a bloody big problem with me not there, it's just a nightmare.

I'm hopeful about the flexible working, I'll ask my manager if that could work temporarily until he's more mobile.

I agree, I've gone in each shift, granted a couple of hours less either way but they have floated the idea of me going off sick instead which makes zero sense to the ward as they might not even get cover.

Show quote history

No it does make sense because they can plan to be without you. They might not get cover but they know you will not be in rather than hoping you can come in before X time.

Can you baby proof a room? Or part of a room? Even just your bed with cushions around?

Have a look what help there is. My local council allow anyone to have meals on wheels.

Buy ready meals that can be microwaved by your older two, with suitable warnings / training.

There can be local help, when my mum had a mastectomy there was a service that came pout and did the ironing for 4 weeks.

MrsGnome · 29/12/2024 13:14

@ByQuaintAzureWasp yes sorry i should have stated the 4 weeks in total per child. I meant for financial means my trust gives 1 week paid leave of parental leave. This is per child and can be combined with the unpaid element. It's been a life saver to use instead of annual leave for my children's appointments or school holidays. Hopefully OP's trust has the same policy.

Whaleandsnail6 · 29/12/2024 15:30

RosesAndHellebores · 28/12/2024 21:17

This is one of the reasons Imdespair of the NHS. It is surely better to have you working shorter hours than not at all. The alternative is you have to be signed off for non work related stress and anxiety. Also you are one if their own, why the heck isn't someone phoning to orthopaedics to make.sure your dh is getting optimal advice to get the family back on its feet so you are back at work asap for the benefit of as many patients as possible.

I disagree with this... certainly where I work, we would be able to put full shifts out to agency staff to cover but someone coming in late or early is harder as its generally the busiest times but noone would want only a 2 hour shift, so the ward ends up short staffed for those lost couple of hours.

Layla30 · 29/12/2024 16:47

My son broke his leg a few years ago when he was 18 months old. I worked for the NHS then and was refused time off to care for him. It was an absolute nightmare and turned out my parents bosses were far more helpful giving them time off to look after him than my boss!

Plastictrees · 29/12/2024 16:53

@AndSoFinally This isn’t strictly true. I work for the NHS and a proportion of parental leave is paid, it is also pretty standard in my profession to take more than 2 weeks per year. I took 6 weeks when my DC were born. It must be at the managers discretion.

Fraggeek · 29/12/2024 16:53

Person I would speak to your GP and take the time off as stress related.
They would even write it as for to work on reduced hours. Otherwise it'll just be unpaid leave.

RosesAndHellebores · 29/12/2024 18:21

Fraggeek · 29/12/2024 16:53

Person I would speak to your GP and take the time off as stress related.
They would even write it as for to work on reduced hours. Otherwise it'll just be unpaid leave.

@whaleandsnail6 But this is where I.lose patience with NHS mismanagement.

The op could come into work a shorter shift or go sick. The NHS can work with her on the sick with a full shift agency nurse. Bearing in mind the complaints about understaffing, would it not be preferable to have the agency nurse AND the op working reduced hours. The cost would be the same and the op could assist where most needed.

It doesn't take Einstein to think outside the box but perhaps there isn't a form fir it. If the op works reduced hours it's a win for the op, the hospital, the agency staff and most importantly the patients. A few more could help some nursing care.

RosesAndHellebores · 29/12/2024 18:22

Apologies for quoting the wrong poster!

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