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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave a five month old sleeping unsupervised on a bed

58 replies

Throwaway2025555 · 28/12/2024 16:10

The situation: a five month old baby is put down for a nap in the middle of a double bed, in a bedroom, and left unsupervised (door closed), but parents check in every so often (realistically every 3-5 minutes or so). The baby is placed in the middle of the bed. The duvet is folded down, away from the baby, a loose blanket is placed on the baby, from chest down. Two pillows are placed on either side of the baby, at the side edges of bed, in case baby rolls off bed.

YABU - this is fine, I would be happy with this situation

YANBU - this isn’t OK, I wouldn’t do this.

OP posts:
AhBiscuits · 28/12/2024 16:23

It's a no from me. If we were visiting somewhere I'd let them nap in the pram.

OldFish · 28/12/2024 16:23

Eek yes I would but without the pillows and blankets! I would've put the pillows on the floor in case they rolled off.

hagchic · 28/12/2024 16:25

Babies and children have this amazing ability to get themselves into unsafe situations in a very short space of time.

One minute they could appear to be fast asleep, the next, you hear a bang and they've managed to fall off the bed, hitting their head on the edge of the bedside table and there's blood everywhere.

It's just safer for them to sleep where you can see them.

YellowHatt · 28/12/2024 16:25

OldFish · 28/12/2024 16:23

Eek yes I would but without the pillows and blankets! I would've put the pillows on the floor in case they rolled off.

This is what we did but they bumped their head on the headboard wall going down. Plus it’s a still a long way to fall for a tiny baby, even if there are pillows at the landing!

lightsandtunnels · 28/12/2024 16:28

No from me. If we were at friends or family, I'd let them nap on me or DP if we didn't have the pram with us. Just not worth the risk.

Parker231 · 28/12/2024 16:29

No - babies nap in their cot

Squeezetheday · 28/12/2024 16:37

Not a chance I would do that, they need to be in a crib or pram. Or just let them nap on you!

SparklingJoyous · 28/12/2024 16:46

Not safe and increased risk of SIDS.

Chonk · 28/12/2024 17:02

DazedAndConfused321 · 28/12/2024 16:16

Yanbu. Totally unsafe and huge risk of death. Inappropriate mattress, pillows as suffocation risk and being unattended on top of all that.

'Huge risk of death' is somewhat of an exaggeration! But I completely agree that it's unsafe on many counts and not something I'd allow.

Eddy334 · 28/12/2024 17:23

Baby monitor??????

Nanny0gg · 28/12/2024 17:24

user593 · 28/12/2024 16:13

I wouldn’t have done this at five months, but I do this with my eleven month old now (in a king-size bed).

Edited

Why is that better? Isn't the 11 month-old mobile?

tangobravo · 28/12/2024 17:26

Ditch the pillows and the duvet and the bed frame + mattress on the floor and I'd say it's fine (room needs baby proofing too)

teatoast8 · 28/12/2024 17:26

Mrsttcno1 · 28/12/2024 16:12

Not a chance I would do this. Pillows are a suffocation risk, pillows also wouldn’t 100% stop a baby from rolling off the bed, and that’s not to mention that per guidance baby should always sleep in the same room as an adult until 6 months.

My baby had naps on their own from 8 weeks.

teatoast8 · 28/12/2024 17:27

Put them in a cot. Never leave on bed alone

PeonyBlushSuede · 28/12/2024 17:30

doodleschnoodle · 28/12/2024 16:16

Seems a bit pointless if you're having to go check every 3 mins anyway. I'd just stick headphones on and watch something on phone or read a book while lying/sitting beside them.

DD2 was crawling at 5 months so she'd have been away Grin

Same

Did once for a 10 month old. Christmas in relatives house and didn't bring cot etc for 45 min nap. Child napped on the bed and I sat on the chair next to them with a book. Wouldn't leave, especially without a baby camera incase anything happened.

3luckystars · 28/12/2024 17:31

No.

You could use a bed rail, they are well
worth having, but the pillows would be the main hazard for me.

Checking every 2 or 3 minutes, yeah, that’s pointless and impossible as you may as well stay in the room altogether reading a book and monitor the baby if you are going to be constantly going in and out like that.

gamerchick · 28/12/2024 17:32

What's the point if you're up and down checking every few minutes. May we well stick them in a cot.

Anotherdayanotherdollar · 28/12/2024 17:34

Mrsttcno1 · 28/12/2024 16:12

Not a chance I would do this. Pillows are a suffocation risk, pillows also wouldn’t 100% stop a baby from rolling off the bed, and that’s not to mention that per guidance baby should always sleep in the same room as an adult until 6 months.

Per UK guidance perhaps. Not universal world guidance. 😉

WellyBellyBoo · 28/12/2024 17:35

No, my DD rolled off the bed once with me right next to her. She was winded and didn't breathe for a few seconds. I was terrified. Not worth it. Move the baby or stay in the room.

Mrsttcno1 · 28/12/2024 17:38

teatoast8 · 28/12/2024 17:26

My baby had naps on their own from 8 weeks.

Show quote history

Good for you, it’s still against the NHS guidance on reducing risk of SIDS which explicitly says baby should nap in the same room as adult until 6 months.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 28/12/2024 17:57

No I'd just move them to a cot

SnoopySantaPaws · 28/12/2024 18:08

Do all the people saying 'put them
in their cot'. Not think if there had been one available they would have???

@Throwaway2025555

No I wouldn't do this. In a pram/buggy, or on someone. If not possible I'd happily settle down with them & my phone.

if for some reason those options wouldn't work & they couldn't cope without a nap, I'd put the duvet & pillows on the floor, make sure they be were dressed warmly enough just to sleep on the mattress.

Boyandgirlmum9 · 28/12/2024 18:12

Absolutely not. I wouldn't want to be in a position of trying to resuscitate or arrange a funeral for a 5 month old so I wouldn't put them at risk in the first place.

PerditaLaChien · 28/12/2024 18:45

Wait 20 mins after baby nods off so they transition into a deeper sleep, then move them to the cot

89redballoons · 28/12/2024 18:52

No. My youngest was crawling at 5 months.

I know the guidelines about sleeping in the same room, but being realistic I would let them nap in a crib/cot/travel cot/playpen in another room, with a monitor. If I was somewhere that didn't have any of those things I would let them sleep on me, maybe in a carrier (depending on size and temperament of baby - mine are dinky and would happily nap in a sling until about 7 months).