To tell ‘D’H I can see him watching women bounce their tits about!!

[Bequickplease]

I’m raging

NC for this!

I’m in bed as been working nights - ‘D’H is downstairs with 5yr old DD, woken up as I can hear DD whining a bit. Checked the front room camera (because I don’t want to get up yet if I can help it!) to see what’s going on and H is on the sofa scrolling women half naked on Instagram! I am disgusted by the whole saga! Looking at women and the fact he is meant to be looking after DD!!!

But isn’t that a huge invasion of privacy?!!!

AIBU to tell him what I saw?!

OP it’s a rule on MN that men do not look at women nor just watch them.
Men leer at women, often lasciviously.
Remember this.

You cant stop a man from looking at women he sees them when hes out and about.
Same as women looking at men.
Tbh you sound like your picking for an argument over nothing.
I once Had an ex that would blame me for looking at men when we would be out and about i wasn't i was looking at women instead lol.😆

Do you think he installed it where he did so he can see what you do in your phone?

Well that's you. I was under the impression we're all different are we not?

Obviously it's far ideal to do it with dd in the room but it doesn't mention in the post she was sat there watching it with him unless I missed that bit? If that's the case then I'd have a different reaction.

I'd just send him a message, something like "can you scroll back up again, I liked the one in the pink bikini more..."

@Bequickplease how about announcing through it “can you stop doom-scrolling bouncing tits and see what DS is up to please?”

Well that's you. I was under the impression we're all different are we not?

Obviously it's far ideal to do it with dd in the room but it doesn't mention in the post she was sat there watching it with him unless I missed that bit? If that's the case then I'd have a different reaction.

😬😬😬🤢

Haha the usual, right?! Always a handful that are just so super cool…

No issue with the camera as long as all adults know about it and know how to access it. We had cat-cam.

If you can speak through it, then just do that. Say something like "stop scrolling boobs and pay attention to your daughter"

Then go back to sleep.

Genuinely the camera I mostly forget about. It’s only in the living room & dining room for the dogs. I don’t think it’s weird, few family members have it for their dogs.

It wasn’t full on porn or anything and tbh I’m more pissed off that he announced grand plans to occupy DD and apparently has spent most of it on his phone! Don’t get me wrong I use mine around her but come on, to just browse women in bikinis etc it’s a bit yuk tbh.

I am up now and DD has clearly been bored most of the day!

Mentioned to him about watching stuff like that generally and apparently the second it comes up on his phone he clicks ‘not interested’ and moves on with his day (clearly not) then proceeded to show me a whole gallery on his phone in the ‘not interested bit’ by this point I can’t be arsed with it 😒

I'd find it disgusting that he's doing that with a 5yo in the room, especially as he's ignoring her to focus on the phone. Subtly letting him know you've seen by speaking through the camera and reminding him to pay attention to DD sounds good, but I wouldn't mention boobs or tits. Poor DD, having to overhear that!

Wish I had done this now!!! 😂

We have a living room camera. It was up for the baby in her moses etc and then we just couldn't be bothered to take it down. It's useful if I go upstairs and the older two start wrestling 😂

That said it's not good enough to see what someone is doing on their phone. But if he was doing that with her in the room 🤯

It's a bit rank to be seeking sexual titillation while looking after a young child.

Is he specifically “looking at women bouncing their tits up and down” or just mindlessly scrolling through Instagram and that’s what his feed brings up? (Obviously that’s how his algorithms are set, but once you’re in an algorithm loop on IG you have to make a conscious effort to change it.)

Then he should make a conscious effort to look at it when he's alone, not when he's meant to be minding his 5 year old.

At the first sight of half naked woman, he should have put the phone down. Better yet, put the phone away altogether from the start.

Is it like a military camera that can focus like a laser?

Christ, I'd be creeped out if I thought my DH was upstairs watching me and my phone on camera.

No matter what I was looking at! 🙈

There's nowt so strange as some of the families on this forum.

ETA: And then starting an internet thread to discuss me with strangers!

Just get off your bum and speak to the man.

Happened to me. Your guys a see your next Tuesday (like mine)

You’ll now be blamed for it, he’ll minimise it and act like you’re crazy for your anger, watch and see.

Throw the creature out. These things don’t deserve women or family.

not to my knowledge but tbh I’m pretty impressed that my camera is so good apparently. It is really clear tbh but I didn’t buy it or install it so don’t know tbh. Just love to watch my beloved labs snooze for hours if I’m out, thought I would catch them up to mischief not DH!

You caught your ex doing the same? Did it escalate? Or did you throw him out over this?

You're not angry about boobs. You're angry because your man is a shit dad who sits on his phone instead of playing with his kid. And so you should be.

Surely he knows you have cameras set up? He can hardly be shocked he has been caught in the act if he is facing the cameras at the angle he is at. It's not good parenting if DD is needing anything (including attention). You will know best as a parent, but obviously kids make noise all the time, sometimes without anything in particular being wrong. DH is in the wrong of course and using that lone parent in the room time to insta-perv is not good. Also not great if DD witnesses what is on the screen. Maybe confront him if you feel his ignorance was not brief, and DD needed attention.

This is EXACTLY what I would do.

Breaking News: Men are going to look at tits on Instagram. As long as it's only my tits he's touching, it's not something I'd give a second thought to.

I’m just amazed you think this is real.