It's a bloody dog!

[MammaKel]

Ugh, I didn't realise how batshit crazy people were about their "furbabies."

We went to a family gathering yesterday where SIL and BIL and their DDog were - they don't have kids, and DDog is their baby but omg.

I could get past the calling each other mummy and daddy, calling my in laws grandma and grandpa and telling my kids he was their fur cousin and showing us pictures of taking him to see " Santa Paws" but there were two instances that genuinely made me cringe a bit ..

We were exchanging gifts, and they asked me where DDogs were, I laughed because I thought they were joking, but nope, totally serious and was upset he'd be left out, so I apologised (for some reason) and moved on very quickly..

The next one was that the dog was getting a bit agitated, and they said he was tired and getting a bit cranky, so they were leaving so he could have a nap..

I'm mostly being light-hearted, and I'm an animal lover (have 4 cats), but I just didn't realise how far it went AIBU or is this just the norm now?

When my dog died 9 years ago I couldn’t speak I couldn’t explain to anyone what happened my boss god love him asked how he was and I mimed that he had died, god bless him he didn’t know where got put himself. It would have been much easier for all concerned if I could have taken a couple of days and explained over email.

Of course you shouldn’t get bereavement leave. How ridiculous. By all means take annual leave. I think only someone with a heart of stone wouldn’t understand the depth of feeling caused by the death of a beloved pet. But the idea of some sort of official bereavement leave is ludicrous. Would that extend to a pet hamster? A fish?

Again, you don't understand the bond between someone and their dog, and how their death might affect them.
There is research out there that shows that the death of a beloved dog hits harder that the death of a family member.

That's fine providing companies actually accept a short notice request for annual leave. I didn't know my cat was going to be PTS so if I'd had leave to take I would have been requesting it for the same day which I know is frowned upon by some

You do you, negotiate with your employer for paid bereavement for a pet if you feel necessary. Generally speaking, as a society, we should have these boundaries in place and question the whole ‘furbaby’ mentality because it causes so much upset to infantilise pets. It sounds like you have healthy boundaries though, I hope it’s not too hard on you when the time comes.

It's wildly eccentric, I'd just laugh it off when they ask you to join in.

It is not infantilising pets to have a bond with them.

Just a question as we're talking about losing a pet - when your pet dies, would you consider getting another one?

I have no opinion on whether bereavement leave should be an option for those who lost their pets. I took a day off when my elderly cat became terribly ill and needed to be PTS.

Well Vets do this too.
Call you Mum or Dad of your dog/cat/gerbil

Of course, the cynic in me knows there is a good reason for this 💷💷

I have known people who have sworn off ever getting a pet again, as the pain was too much.
And some people get a new pet days after losing one.

A new pet never replaces the old one. Never.

Op, they sounds absolutely weird and I’d be nipping that in the bud about them telling your kids that their DOGS are their “fur” cousin! That was one of the most disturbing parts of your story IMO.

Totally agree with pp that the treatment of dogs as babies has led to badly trained dogs. I had a labradoodle run and jump on me in our apartment building. The owner clearly didn’t want to tell it to leave me alone, despite me telling her I wasn’t comfortable with dogs and could she please get it away from me.

The next time I saw her and her unleashed dog approaching me I put out my hand and said stop - Your dog will NOT jump on me again. The stupid woman pouted and said she “couldn’t help it” if her dog jumped up. I told her if her dog is out of control it must be leashed in communal areas. She flatly refused!

I ended up having to report her to make sure she leashed her dog from now on. It’s crazy that she had to be told though!

The funny thing is even small innocent children are generally not allowed to run up and jump on strangers and touch them with eg. their sticky hands ! But yet dog owners feel I should be okay with their sharp clawed animals jumping at me with muddy paws.

Yes. It is absolutely heartbreaking, but whilst there is a space in my house that I can offer one of the hundreds of thousands who are in rescue centres, as much as it pains me that I'll inevitably go through that loss again, yes I will.

We’ve had family dogs growing up my whole life, always in pairs and whenever one went we always said never again it was too sad n why would we do that to ourselves. We always did get another one for a ‘friend’ though. It’s just my mum and dad at home now with an 11 year old dog (after the other died in January)who will certainly be the last as my dad is getting too old now but if he was fitter he would absolutely have another by now.

My partner and I got pet rats and loved them, but holy hell they were traumatising one died right infront of my eyes and the other had cancer that grew like a golf ball over night practically, we have a baby now and we’ve said we’re never getting pets for him as it’s just too sad when they go, but I know we will get a dog one day 🤣

The funny thing is even small innocent children are generally not allowed to run up and jump on strangers and touch them with their sticky hands ! But yet dog owners feel I should be okay with their sharp clawed animals jumping at me.

To be honest I prefer dogs to grubby little children but I'd tell both to go away, I don't particularly want either touching me.

Nah, bonkers is having a Great Dane & encouraging it to ‘speak to people’, which essentially meant walking over & sitting on them so the human owner now has an excuse to come over for a chat (about the dog).

as for the 20min monologue I had to sit through about a woman dog owner insisting on staying overnight at the vets because the dog was staying in. Wild!!

People who I've given gifts to their children in the past have got my new Dog a gift this year (I dont have DC). I think it's sweet 😁

@Jaggy1 we may have had a difference of opinions on this thread, but I can certainly say that rats brought me so much comfort, pleasure and love. And yes, one of mine went the same way with a tumor, and my dad laughed at me when I asked them to take me to the vets to be pts, thank god my mum was reasonable.

My brother and sil, have struggles for infertility for years and got a dog instead, great for them but I’m not an animal lover and much less a dog lover, actually quite anxious round dogs (akways have and they know that) and whilst not quite as bad as what you describe, the constant putting the dog on to me like it’s my problem drive me bananas. There dog knows no boundaries, Wanting to come round Christmas morning because it’s my babies first Christmas was fine but not to bring the dog, as I couldn’t put the baby down nor the gifts out, they were annoyed but the fact they bring the dog to my house without asking any other time irritates me, I don’t like dogs, why would I want one in my house much less on my furniture. But I bite my tongue, because I know I have what they can’t have and compensate with the dam ‘furbaby’, the ignorance drives me insane

Actually think we were saying the same things just from different angles 🤣

Aww I loved our rats, no one understood us at all and thought they were horrible but they were such clever loving little things! So horrible how quickly they go downhill though it’s so hard.

To be honest I prefer dogs to grubby little children but I'd tell both to go away, I don't particularly want either touching me

Fair enough. I mean I prefer kids personally (despite not having either kids or dogs) but the main point I was making that it’s not a thing that happens a lot or is considered acceptable by vast majority of parents. Whereas there’s countless stories of dog owners allowing their dogs to jump on people in parks (or in my case in my apartment building) despite the fact that the risk to a human is far greater when it’s a dog than a little 3 year old who can barely walk straight lol

My neighbours dog was quite heavy, very fast and sharp clawed. It could easily have winded or knocked over someone more small or frail than me. It was also close enough - and out of reach of the owner - to give me a nasty bite. Dogs can be very unpredictable and every dog that bites has an owner that claims it’s the first time.

In my case it “only” scratched me but I wasn’t going to allow it to to be a regular thing and run the risk of being bothered or harmed further.

@Jaggy1 people cringed and showed disgust when I said I had rats, but as you know they are absolutely social, intelligent and love being with humans. One of mine used to sit on my shoulder and lick my earlobe 🤣

I'm sorry you lost yours. We were lucky to experience that connection ❤️

Saw this earlier today (btw I have grand-dogs)

Bat.Shit.
’cousins’? Nap time? Grandparents??????
They need to get a grip!!!!!

Why do they need to 'get a grip'? Who are they actually hurting?

The bigger issue here is whether she bought or adopted that dog.

If she bought it as a puppy, she's a dickhead. Just like with all the people buying French Bulldogs.