Do you still pay for your teenagers birthday celebrations with friends?

[MistletoeAndWine123]

Just wondering, if you still pay for your teenagers birthday celebrations with friends?

DS has a birthday next week, will be 15, and 6 of them are doing an activity and then getting a bite to eat after. Total bill will be approx £40pp. I had never questioned covering the cost until a friend asked me why I was paying for everyone. According to her, the teens should each be paying for themselves at this age.

Do you cover your teens birthday costs? For context he is still getting a gift and there will also be a family celebration meal that I will cover as well.

Yes, at that age.

Yes.

Yes I just did for DS' 15th birthday

I did this year but it was 3G footie pitch which was around £25 & some dominoes pizza which was about £60 & that was for 12 of them. They all bring £10 in a card & some sweets. So I end up paying & DS pockets the cash 🤷🏻‍♀️

I would be paying up to and including 16th. After that most either have PT jobs or have a healthy allowance that covers dinners etc out.

Yes, pay for everyone.

If it's for his birthday yes you pay. If they're just going out on a random weekend for a film and pizza they would pay for themselves

Yes. I definitely would. Probably until they are young adults/moved out.

Yes. I normally say "You can have x amount" and they then all plan what they will do within that limit.

Yes. We give them the same amount we’d have budgeted for a party when they were small to go out with their friends.

Yes if they want a party. Arranged son's 21st and paid for food and drink. They are in full time education.

Ask your friend why other people should subsidise her son's birthday celebrations. If he does the inviting then he should do the paying imo.

Thanks for all the responses folks, the consensus is as I thought. I figured I would be covering the cost until he's still in education but my friend made me doubt myself!

Absolutely. That’s less than some of the primary age parties cost (albeit we did share with another family). I’d see it as one of their presents?

My children’s friends (teens) have been doing these birthday celebrations where you all pay for yourself. I find it a cheek to be honest as I’m paying for it, plus giving them a card and birthday money. I would never expect other parents to pay for my child’s birthday get together.

I think this is why she was questioning things as all in, with gift, activity and dinner out with family the cost will be £700-£800 for this birthday and she thinks this is OTT. I don't have huge amounts of disposable income but I'm also far from being on the breadline.

DS is 16 and they just take themselves to Nandos or Goals or the cinema now for birthdays. Everyone pays for themselves.
I stopped paying when I stopped hosting/inviting to parties

Yes of course pay its his birthday celebration- I paid for everything up till 18.

A bit of both, recent 16th, I paid for event and food but then they decided to go for a subsequent birthday meal, so I only paid for my dc. I suppose if I organise it, I pay but if they arrange it between themselves they each pay.

At 15, I think you pay. Unless you live in an area where teens have loads of spare cash.

At 16, my DC and their friends all had part time jobs and I gave them money towards a celebration (which meant they could plan their own thing rather than running costs past me).

hmm not sure dinner out with family should really count towards the total as that is a nice occasion for the whole family rather than the teen’s personal treat iyswim.

If the teen is getting a very pricey present then yes I can see why you might say I can’t also shell out £240 for dinner with friends. All depends on your personal budget though.

Up to 18 I expect to cover the cost. Dd2 is at university and some of her friends have had parties where a parent still pays for a room/table in a club and puts money behind the bar as a birthday treat. I can’t run to that when I’m helping out with rent etc. To be honest I feel a bit bad about it.

@minipie DS has asked for the dinner, tradition every year so this is something he does want, and would be expected. I would be happy to do something at home but he wants to go out, which is no problem.

@Frankiedear I have not organised the activity, they have decided and booked themselves.

Yes. People that age aren't earning. You invite them, you pay.

How does this work….you send out a birthday invitation to DC’s party, but inform the parents that their kids need to bring £40 to pay? Seems pretty crass to me.