To ask what to do with teens?

[Hemiola]

I had plans to go away now until new year but it's been cancelled. I'm rubbish at switching plans and go into apathy mode - just feel like I'm waiting to go back to work.
So, hive mind, inspire me (or make me feel comfortable with doing nothing but hibernate!) with your plans! I have 3 teen ds so it's not easy to a) get them off screens or b) do anything that doesn't cost!

27th - AM - planning next few days, PM - board game before dinner
28th - AM - long walk somewhere new, PM - chill
29th - coast trip for chips and a wander
30th - chill day/encourage teens to meet up with friends

Cooking a fancy meal for NYE? Write on scraps of paper Mocktails/Starter/Main/Dessert and each of you draw one to be responsible for?

Cinema? Face value tickets are £££ but there seem to be lots of deals/free tickets floating around.

Maybe find a series you all want to veg/watch together?

Oooh a coast trip is a great idea! Totally different vibe for summer and a bit unique.

Think we could be friends - this is the kind of planning I like! Hadn't thought of coast but good idea and something I always did as a kid. Thanks!

You can absolutely do nothing but hibernate. I dont get why people need regimented fun or to fill up their schedules. It's so stressful and weird. What are these people running away from?

Perhaps ask your kids if there is anything they'd like to do now you have free time though - tell them they can suggest absolutely anything they like. They might come up with something creative and actually fun (rather than what I call "busy fun"). If they have no ideas, nothing wrong with resting and pottering.

I think my whole life is so regimented at the mo that I feel really weird when it's not. Used to love just pottering around but it's like I've forgotten how!
Also finding the teen thing hard - not sure how much to manage their time and how much to allow them to do their own thing.

Is it really so bad if they spend the next few days on screens, if that's what they really want to do? This is the time of year to chill and do whatever you want. I work over Christmas now, but have lovely memories of being a teenager and our family just shutting away from the world for a few days between Christmas and NY.

No it's not bad @owlexpress but for some reason I just have mum guilt! I also have fond memories of vegging at that age. Just not sure how I fit into it I suppose. When they were little, we would bake/play games etc but naturally they're not interested now and that's fine but I need to rediscover what I like.

I'm all for hibernating between Christmas and New Year especially if the teens are happy to do so. I always have a you must leave the house at least once a day rule though but this can literally be a quick dog walk round the block or a trip to the corner shop for milk. I can't stand the thought of not crossing the door all day unless you are ill.

I would just let them be, honestly. They don't need regimented days out and activities at that age.

@Hemiola just vaguely, in which area of the country do you live?

There may be MNers with local, "hidden gem" knowledge

If you've never been to the beach I winter, wrap up warm, the wind can be biting especially if the sand is blowing. Don't let that put you off though.

We live near the beach and walk along it everyday. If your aren't close plenty of supercheap Travelodge / Premier Inn type places this time of year by the coast and make a couple of days of it.

I'd say a beach walk with chips in hand would be pretty perfect!
I'd also not overlook something simple like a game of rounders in the park, if the weather allows. See if you can rope in their pals and offer a picnic or, again, chips eaten from the paper, after the game.

@beetr00 I'm in South Wales. - there's tons to do around me....just struggling with the apathy! I'm battling with feeling like I 'should ' do something wholesome and the desire to binge watch TV and eat crap. Honestly I'm my own worst enemy!

Ask your teens if there is something they would like to do.

Do you have to do it all as a family? Could you do something each day with one of them and the others are left to chill? A bit of unexpected 1-1 time?

@Createausername1970 they just want to veg and game.
Like the idea of a 1-1 time though. I can usually bribe them out with food.

That's you though, why do you need to enforce it as a rule? I love days where I don't have to leave the house. Not all the time obviously, but once in a while. I know some people would hate this and need to get outside for their mental health, but that's them. I don't feel the need to enforce a rule where you must stay in the house all day because I like it.

@Hemiola Today give yourself permission to binge watch TV and eat crap. After a day of that, you may feel rested and ready to do things. And then again you may not, and that's fine too!

If they just want to veg, then let them.
Take yourself out if you need to, ask them if they want to come, then head on out.
With chips. Must have chips.

A bit of vegging is fine!
I’ve got two teens and so far we have:

Been to visit my grandmother and then to our local tourist type town for a walk on the beach and to a nice cafe.
Today we’re going to ride our bikes up the cycle track to deliver a gift to a friend’s baby.
We’ve got free cinema tickets to use so will see what’s on.
I’ve promised to take them to Winter Wonderland as we didn’t make it before Christmas for various reasons.
They also had Christmas money from relatives and want to trawl the shops at some point so we will probably go to the local shopping centre.
I’m working NYE so DH has offered for them to have friends over.

Speaking from
experience I’m not sure you can make teens come off their screens and do activities - they need to wind down and veg out.

We have 2 teens and also 3 little ones.

We are home birds and like hibernating but also everyone still needs fresh air, stretch the legs and a change of scene.

We find a lazy morning works well so teens can stay in bed if they want while the rest of us potter then we go out 2-4ish.

We've done cinema yesterday, going to a nature reserve tomorrow. Swimming/ gym another day. One day we need to go to town to buy school uniform, will probably get a Starbucks or something. We've got a gingerbread house to build one day. Spring bulbs to plant in the garden. They are seeing friends one day.

We are fairly strict on screens and family time though. Screens don't usually come out with us apart from in the car for music streaming. And we limit their screens at home eg no screens overnight or past 9pm.

@Hemiola would geo-caching appeal? (sort of like treasure hunting)

Too much mibbee? 😆

an example

Have you asked your teens what they want to do? Do they want to veg at home or do things as a family?? Do they plan to meet up with friends. Maybe a day at home followed by something out the house? Christmas is a perfect time to just stop and be if you have that time off work. If i had that lovely time off work i would be in my pjs mostly with the odd walk/glass of wine in a pub.

As a 90s teen we totally did our own thing until family came up and then we did our own thing with cousins bar new year’s eve party. We weren’t a family for planning and doing lots all together tbh.

All of mine are happy doing nothing. It's me who gets antsy and feels like I should be busy- but that's having a job that takes over my life and being unable to deal with down time.

Ds will hibernate.
Dd will see mates on and off.
Dh will veg.
I've had Xmas day and boxing day to do nothing. Now I want to go for a run, go to watch a film, find cheap panto tickets cos I didn't plan ahead, paint the bathroom, do some gardening, fix the shelves, go for a walk. All at once.
But instead, I'm sitting in the fog, eating cake and scrolling.

I wouldn't enforce it. I couldn't actually enforce anything on my humongous teen sons even if I wanted to. It's a bit like the you must put your dirty clothes in the washing basket rule. They choose to follow it as they can see the benefit. If they really didn't want to they wouldn't.