MIL weird cooking times??

[Onlyme234]

MIL invited myself, my husband, my husband's sister and her boyfriend over for lunch on Boxing Day today. We were told to arrive for 12:00.

My husband and I thought that lunch would be served at around 13:00, but food didn't hit the table until 16:00! Whenever I've had guests, usually food is served within an hour or so of them arriving and then we do most of the socialising after the meal/at the table. I thought this was the norm.

MIL was in the kitchen the entire time. Every one of us went in to check on her, she wasn't flustered and seemed absolutely fine and said she didn't need any help and all was going to plan. When I went in, she was sat at the kitchen island reading her kindle with a glass of wine. I offered help and asked her if she'd like to come sit with us but she declined.

First couple of hours were good to have a catch up but after that we were starving and starting to get sleepy just being sat in the living room for 4 hours. Husband and I started to feel sick as we had only had a light breakfast because we were expecting a big lunch. By the time dinner finished, we'd all been there for 5 hours and absolutely shattered but my MIL was annoyed that my husband said we would be off shortly after dinner. She said she'd wanted to spend some time with us. I'm just confused on why she started cooking as we arrived when she could've done most of the cooking beforehand and then had some time to spend with us?

He explained that the fact the food had taken so long meant that we were all feeling a bit tired by the time it was served and we'd been there a long time already. I was thinking maybe there'd been an issue with the cooking which would've explained it but she said she'd planned for it to be served at 16:00 and for us to come at 12:00.

Please someone tell me this is weird? She's now upset we all left and feels like her day was wasted because she didn't get to spend time with us.

😂😂😂 This fucking website

Right?! I've always felt sick when I get very very hungry. I presume my husband doesn't because being hungry doesn't seem to bother him much. I wish I didn't- it's horrible and inconvenient - but it's a physical symptoms not a moral failing! And certainly not a sign of something like diabetes.

This is pretty normal to me but we often host people for a very late lunch at the weekend, especially if we're slow-cooking or roasting something. We ate Xmas lunch around 4-5 and Boxing Day lunch at a friends' house yesterday was similar.

Sometimes with slow cooking there'll be ample opportunity in the kitchen to read a bit and have a glass of wine, that's the great thing about it.

Having said that we'd obviously tell guests in advance that was the plan, we wouldn't make them arrive at midday unless there was another activity involved, there'd be plenty of nibbles and we wouldn't lie about food nearly being ready if it wasn't.

Why didn't your DH just ask her - it's his DM.
It's a long time to wait but a) not that long that two adults should feel sick b) you should have asked for a piece of fruit c) its odd two adults were so sleepy they couldn't have hung around for a bit longer.
Yes she was weird but she wasn't intentionally mean or inhospitable.

Maybe she was just reading a recipe on her kindle?

I think it's weird there wasn't a conservation about whether you were going for lunch or tea. Or was the word dinner used?

I'm exactly the same. Feel sick, tired and faint if I go too many hours without eating. I find it really annoying, but it is what it is, and I usually carry some snacks in my handbag just in case. I'm a bit baffled by all the jeering here at the OP's comments.

I wondered if the MIL, as well as making her guests wait an unreasonably long time for food, had her heating cranked up higher than the OP and her DH are used to in their own home. That would also make me feel tired and sleepy.

No that’s not at all odd. It’s different to the way you do things but certainly not odd

It is odd to tell guests to be there four hours early, not offer them any food in that time or interact with them, and then whinge that she didn't get to spend time with them.

Couldn't agree more, actually!

How old is she? Is this usual form for her or was your DH surprised? I ask because MIL, who was an excellent cook and generous host, started to really struggle once she hit her late 70s. Things like misjudging timings, not providing nibbles (she always used to prepare lovely canapés) and not cooking anywhere near enough food to serve everyone. She also found it harder to have people bustling around her while she was in the kitchen - perhaps because she was having to concentrate more, or maybe a hearing thing.

So depending on her age and past history I would perhaps cut her some slack and make sure you don't visit her on an empty stomach next time.

I can't imagine a meal taking 4 hours to prepare. Plus she said half an hour at 2pm. It is a bit odd.
Sitting reading when guests are in the house is very strange, rude in fact.
Im like a toddler and get very twitchy if I don't eat at regular times. I also wouldn't eat snacks if I was expecting to sit down to a meal.
My DS laughs about his in laws where food appears at random times. A promised curry dinner being served at 10pm. At least he expects it and plans accordingly.

Sounds like poor prepping and pre-planning on MIL part to be honest

Five hours sat on someoen elses couch is like hell on earth i agree

Everything else aside you shouldn’t be getting “very very hungry” if you’ve eaten in the last twenty four hours. Peckish sure but ravenously hungry? That’s a habit or a medical problem.

Crikey think I would have sent DH to the shops by that point 🤣
You must have been starving

But if you arrive early afternoon you can have had a late breakfast or early lunch before coming.
Turning up at 12 you’d expect have some warning to do that!

My husbands step mum is like this. Got caught out by it a few times, expecting food to be ready early on & not eating till late on. She did go through a spell where she’d start cooking around 1-2hrs after we got there. She got diagnosed with brain cancer & stopped cooking for loads of people, we would go round & get a takeaway for dinner which worked out a lot better as we knew what we were in for.

I like eating Christmas dinner at 4 ish...gives you time to do other stuff beforehand. But i make sure people now.

What rubbish. I get really hungry and I'm a size 8 so definitely not an overeater. If I'd had 2 weetabix at 7.30am and maybe a banana around 10, yes I'd be more than peckish at 4. I think that's fairly normal too!

🤣🤣🤦‍♀️

cognitive decline

"Hell on earth":- really?

There’s Guantanamo, there’s Abu Ghraib, then there’s sitting on a sofa waiting for your dinner.

I think you're the unusual one here.

I would be very hungry in OP's situation and would not be feeling great.

It's almost as if everyone is different 😯