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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Leave 6 year old at home with 13 year old

94 replies

PrettyPleaseXo · 26/12/2024 21:10

AIBU
I really want to start the gym
I'm a single parent with no childcare who works full time so the only time I could feasibly go is early in the mornings when the kids are in bed. Would it be unreasonable to leave the kids sleeping with a 13 year old and 6 year old?
I would be gone for roughly 1.5hrs

OP posts:
Beepbeepoutoftheway · 27/12/2024 07:16

PrettyPleaseXo · 26/12/2024 21:10

AIBU
I really want to start the gym
I'm a single parent with no childcare who works full time so the only time I could feasibly go is early in the mornings when the kids are in bed. Would it be unreasonable to leave the kids sleeping with a 13 year old and 6 year old?
I would be gone for roughly 1.5hrs

I know it doesn't answer your question but Joe Wicks' Body Coach App has some really good home workouts which helped me lose weight/tone up :)

LivingLaVidaBabyShower · 27/12/2024 07:17

Jostuki · 26/12/2024 21:30

You can go downstairs and do a home workout video or your garden or garage to woekout.

Yeah i think in your position I'd get up some youtube fitness videos or plan a rountine.and do it in the gargen / on the patio in the morning

You could also take them to the gym on sat and sun for an hour and leave them in the cafe area and do some weights for 45/60 mins. I see this a lot at david lloyd kids most have a drink snack and do some homework

InTheRainOnATrain · 27/12/2024 07:18

No I wouldn’t when they were asleep. What if the youngest woke up first and did something silly whilst unsupervised or if there was some sort of emergency (unlikely but you’ve got to consider every scenario) and then the 13YO has to rouse themselves then the 6YO. If you were going to go early evening or any other time when they’d be awake though then I think that would be fine. Maybe home workout mid week and gym at the weekend when you can go later so the kids will be up and awake?

PerditaLaChien · 27/12/2024 07:21

I would do this in the evening when the 6yo is out like a light& the 13yo is up watching telly.

In the morning the 13yo will not want to wake up & the 6yo could easily wake any time from 6am. 6 is a bit young to be essentially unsupervised. 8 yo would be fine.

thismummydrinksgin · 27/12/2024 07:41

What about online workouts? Get it up on tv with some dumbbells while they sleep

ButterCrackers · 27/12/2024 07:46

In the evening once the 6yr old is in bed and 13yr old is babysitting.

PerditaLaChien · 27/12/2024 08:28

You could also take them to the gym on sat and sun for an hour and leave them in the cafe area and do some weights for 45/60 mins. I see this a lot at david lloyd kids most have a drink snack and do some homework

Ive seen this at david lloyd too but not kids as young as 6. Junior school age - more like 8 & up. And I'd say the david Lloyd is quite different to a public leisure centre as well. The cafe at david lloyd is behind the barriers so a bit safer and i often notice everyone knows everyone there - you might think children have been left in there but often a friend at the next table has been asked to keep an eye on them. Our club wouldn't be thrilled at a 6 yo being left without an adult.

Wells37 · 27/12/2024 09:40

I regularly baby sat other peoples children in the evening and day time from the age of 13.
Put the 6 year old to bed then go to the gym or go at the weekend in the day time.

I have 7 years between my kids and my daughter started looking after my son for an hour or so when she was 13. I worked late shifts and in the holidays she would look after him for 2 1/2 hours. I would leave at 1.30 and their dad got back from work at 4 pm. She knew exactly what to do in an emergency and we have a few good neighbours and local family she could have called on. We both kept phones on us at work too.

She was very sensible and organised activities for him for the whole afternoon 🙂

It's good to give kids responsibility, aslong they are sensible and know what to do in an emergency.

Whatafustercluck · 27/12/2024 09:57

I'll start by saying i began to leave mine to go out very locally when ds turned 13 and dd turned 7. Dd would be ready for/ in bed before I went and ds would be awake. We'd be back within a couple of hours and were just down the road so could return quickly in an emergency. Ds is a very sensible boy and dd is no trouble so we felt ready.

But I wouldn't have left them both asleep, and still don't now they're 14 and 8. Easier if the youngest is asleep and the eldest still awake. Also, run through different scenarios that could happen while you're out and ensure your eldest knows how to respond, what to do, who to call etc. We have good neighbours, so we tell ds to run to them.

biscuitsandbooks · 27/12/2024 10:07

No, not if the 13yo is asleep. It's not remotely fair on them to potentially be woken up early by a 6yo because you're not there to deal with it.

MintTwirl · 27/12/2024 10:09

I wouldn’t leave them asleep but we did/do leave ds14 at home with younger siblings.
We started a year or so ago just for 20 mins or so and have built up to an hour or two. It’s not a regular thing but I am surprised that so many think a sensible teen can’t look after a sibling for a short period of time.

Caravaggiouch · 27/12/2024 10:10

I was babysitting other people’s children at 14 and was more than capable of looking after my younger siblings at earlier than 13 in an age before mobiles etc. If your children are sensible and you’re not far away/can be easily reached in an emergency I think it sounds fine.

Tangerinenets · 27/12/2024 15:00

grimupnorthnot · 26/12/2024 21:22

its perfectly safe and normal.

Another post showing how fucked up British parenting is.

Leaving two children asleep in the house is not safe or normal!

Lindtnotlint · 27/12/2024 15:24

Totally fine if the elder awake. Not if elder asleep - because the 6 year old could do a lot of stuff and then the elder will feel really bad. Or worse, could wake up directly into an emergency (choking, fire etc) that could have been totally avoided if a second person had been awake to head off the 6 year old at an earlier point in the process!

onwardsup4 · 27/12/2024 15:26

You know them both best, some 13 year olds would be absolutely fine and I would allow my 13 year old if she was happy with it. My youngest is 2 and wouldn't leave her with him but if he was 6 and they were both happy I would

cansu · 27/12/2024 15:27

I understand because I am also a single parent but no you can't leave your six year old with a sleeping sibling. Get on you tube and find a home workout.

onwardsup4 · 27/12/2024 15:27

Oh 5.30 a.m mine definitely wouldn't be happy 😂

TwoBlueFish · 27/12/2024 15:33

I wouldn’t leave them both asleep, kids are notoriously heavy sleepers and may not wake if a smoke alarm goes off. Or a quick session in the evening after the 6 year old is in bed but when the 13 year old is still awake? I babysat regularly at that age, newborns and up.

Is there a gym near work that you could go to for a quick lunchtime session? Or am online fitness class you could do in an evening/morning?

visitbreakfast · 27/12/2024 15:35

People thinking it's normal to leave your 6 year old asleep at 5:30am with no responsible person in place Confused Let's not pretend 13 year olds are tuned in to what's going on while they sleep. I could sleep through DH getting up, showering and going to work at 5:30am but if one of my DCs bloody coughed it would wake me.

belleager · 27/12/2024 15:44

If they normally get on fine and six year old isn't in the habit of wrecking the joint first thing in the morning, yes, no problem.

I'd be more inclined to do it in the evening once six year old is in bed though, to get them used to a situation where the 13 year old is clearly in charge.

FatFiatMultiplaWhopper · 27/12/2024 15:53

I was babysitting for other families when I was 13, for money! When did everyone get so terrified of life?

visitbreakfast · 27/12/2024 15:54

FatFiatMultiplaWhopper · 27/12/2024 15:53

I was babysitting for other families when I was 13, for money! When did everyone get so terrified of life?

When you were asleep?

FatFiatMultiplaWhopper · 27/12/2024 15:56

Yeah I would drop off on the sofa sometimes - the parents had no issue with it! It was fine

Gogogo12345 · 27/12/2024 15:56

Onlyvisiting · 26/12/2024 21:19

Not if the 13 yo is asleep, that's not fair. What if the 6yo wakes up and the 13yo doesn't? You have a unsupervised 6yo in the house with free access to setting the kitchen on fire etc.

How is that different to a 6 year old waking while parent is asleep

Jk987 · 27/12/2024 15:56

You could do a full body online workout at home then a stretch and a bath in 1.5hrs. I know it's not quite the same but your mind would be at rest. (and it's free)