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Original poster

Beating myself up for opening my big mouth

39 replies

Trufflebutter24 · 26/12/2024 20:37

I’m worried I’ve ruined my sister in laws proposal by opening my big mouth!

Yesterday my sister in law and brother in law were around for Christmas Day and I get on well with both of them.

We were discussing holidays next year as we’re trying to plan a holiday for my MIL birthday, and my BIL said to my SIL that they were going away next new year to which my SIL said “yeah but we don’t have to” and my BIL got a bit quiet and soon after left the conversation.

I then opened my stupid big mouth and said “girl you gotta go away, you never know!! Wink wink, point at engagement ring finger”

A little later my BIL pulled me aside and said that he is in fact going to propose next year at new years.

Have I ruined it? Why am I such a big mouthed idiot! I text BIL to apologise but then deleted the messages because I didn’t want to further muddle, mess things up and now my SIL is questioning the messages and I’m just making it worse and worse!! I can’t stop thinking about it and feeling terrible.

OP posts:
Undertherainbow00 · 26/12/2024 20:43

Sorry, do you mean New Year ‘25 or ‘26?
Hard to follow as you put BIL and SIL but they are not married yet?
Gosh, does it really matter??? Sounds like someone here is dragging their heels to the alter! I really would not give this anymore head space - enjoy your Boxing Day!

Tricho · 26/12/2024 20:43

There's a lesson here.

Don't pass comment on things that really dont concern you

Hopefully you won't start the "when are you having a baby??" Chat after this.

Original poster
Trufflebutter24 · 26/12/2024 20:44

Sorry yes nye 26, and wrote for ease, not BIL yet!

OP posts:
Original poster
Trufflebutter24 · 26/12/2024 20:45

Tricho · 26/12/2024 20:43

There's a lesson here.

Don't pass comment on things that really dont concern you

Hopefully you won't start the "when are you having a baby??" Chat after this.

they’ve already told us all without questions that they are planning to start a family in 2 years! I genuinely wasn’t trying to make things awkward it was just playful and I’ve really messed up 😩

OP posts:
grumpygrape · 26/12/2024 20:46

He's going to wait another year but has told you ? Confused 🤔

MeanMrMustardSeed · 26/12/2024 20:46

If someone plans to propose a full year in advance, then anyone has a right to speculate in the meantime. I can’t be doing with these long drawn out planned engagements, which inevitably lead to long drawn out planned weddings.

Original poster
Trufflebutter24 · 26/12/2024 20:46

grumpygrape · 26/12/2024 20:46

He's going to wait another year but has told you ? Confused 🤔

That’s what happened!

OP posts:
Scarydinosaurs · 26/12/2024 20:48

That’s ages away.

If it was next week she might remember. Next year she won’t recall it.

WickedlyCharmed · 26/12/2024 20:49

He’s no intention of proposing to her, but you really put him on the spot. I imagine it’s a sore point between them.

Original poster
Trufflebutter24 · 26/12/2024 20:49

WickedlyCharmed · 26/12/2024 20:49

He’s no intention of proposing to her, but you really put him on the spot. I imagine it’s a sore point between them.

How did I put him on the spot? I didn’t say anything in front of him

OP posts:
RhaenysRocks · 26/12/2024 20:50

don't be ridiculous - you haven't spoiled anything. Its pretty common for people to say that to couples who have been together a good while and might potentially get engaged. Its not like its planned for NYE and you knew and dropped a big hint.

category12 · 26/12/2024 20:53

How have you ruined it? It was a frivolous comment, it wasn't like you knew what was in his mind (if it was).

I've no idea why he felt the need to pull you aside about it, he'd have done better to ignore it.

Just stop and breathe and let it go.

DappledThings · 26/12/2024 20:53

The whole situation is nuts. Who plans a proposal over a year in advance? Who even plans a holiday that far in advance unless it's a mega big one?

Forget about it OP. You haven't ruined anything because it was too daft to ruin anyway

PullTheBricksDown · 26/12/2024 20:53

Why on earth has he planned this for over a year away? What's wrong with this NYE? How long have they been together?

Your comment does sound a bit crass though if she's obviously waiting for him to propose and it's been a while.

Catlord · 26/12/2024 20:55

I think it's fine. It's on the cards if not immediate so not like he's got no intention and you're winding her up.

I mean, don't mention this, babies, weight gain, or other delicate subjects again without thinking. You don't want to become known as someone who never thinks before speaking but this wasn't too bad.

WickedlyCharmed · 26/12/2024 21:04

Trufflebutter24 · 26/12/2024 20:49

How did I put him on the spot? I didn’t say anything in front of him

Show quote history

You’ve made a crass comment with absolutely no idea whether marriage has been discussed or is on the cards for them.

It’s up there with “so when are you two going to have children then?”.

Anyway, it’s done now. And you haven’t ruined any proposal, if he wanted to propose he’d get on with it, not wait another 13 months.

MrsTerryPratchett · 26/12/2024 21:07

WickedlyCharmed · 26/12/2024 20:49

He’s no intention of proposing to her, but you really put him on the spot. I imagine it’s a sore point between them.

This. In over a year? Bullshit.

Original poster
Trufflebutter24 · 26/12/2024 21:07

WickedlyCharmed · 26/12/2024 21:04

You’ve made a crass comment with absolutely no idea whether marriage has been discussed or is on the cards for them.

It’s up there with “so when are you two going to have children then?”.

Anyway, it’s done now. And you haven’t ruined any proposal, if he wanted to propose he’d get on with it, not wait another 13 months.

Show quote history

Funnily enough they’ve planned their whole wedding and shared with us exactly how they want it to go including songs, food etc! (I’m not being sarcastic btw) they’re genuinely very open about their plans!

OP posts:
ShortyShorts · 26/12/2024 21:07

Why on earth would you think a couple going on holiday would mean one of them was going to propose?

I mean, it turned out you were right but what made you think it?

Either way, it's a whole year away, I wouldn't worry about it.

DappledThings · 26/12/2024 21:08

Trufflebutter24 · 26/12/2024 21:07

Funnily enough they’ve planned their whole wedding and shared with us exactly how they want it to go including songs, food etc! (I’m not being sarcastic btw) they’re genuinely very open about their plans!

Show quote history

They're already engaged then. This only makes it more ridiculous and a total non-issue.

Original poster
Trufflebutter24 · 26/12/2024 21:09

ShortyShorts · 26/12/2024 21:07

Why on earth would you think a couple going on holiday would mean one of them was going to propose?

I mean, it turned out you were right but what made you think it?

Either way, it's a whole year away, I wouldn't worry about it.

Thanks, the reason was he got really defensive when SIL questioned it and said “we’re going I’ve already booked my holiday off” (his job means he needs to book annual leave in advance)

OP posts:
Doggymummar · 26/12/2024 21:09

Trufflebutter24 · 26/12/2024 20:46

That’s what happened!

Show quote history

Why is he waiting?

ShrugGood · 26/12/2024 21:13

DappledThings · 26/12/2024 21:08

They're already engaged then. This only makes it more ridiculous and a total non-issue.

Show quote history

I agree. If they are already saying they are getting married and have discussed this with everyone, they are already engaged to be married. The only thing missing is an engagement ring if they want one. What a load of bullshit with waiting until 2026 for a proposal. I don't think they understand how an engagement works.

Aliceglass · 26/12/2024 21:15

Tricho · 26/12/2024 20:43

There's a lesson here.

Don't pass comment on things that really dont concern you

Hopefully you won't start the "when are you having a baby??" Chat after this.

Yet here you are, passing comment on things that don’t concern you!?

SleepToad · 26/12/2024 21:20

Sometimes you need to just shut the f up...my lovely cousin like a sister to me kept on about "when you going to have kids" " oh you've come to tell your pregnant " etc etc....she even asked the day after we found out we couldn't have kids.
you weren't being funny, Everyone else laughed..that's being a bully. You need to really really grovel as if I was your bil I would be really f ed off