Beating myself up for opening my big mouth

[Trufflebutter24]

I’m worried I’ve ruined my sister in laws proposal by opening my big mouth!

Yesterday my sister in law and brother in law were around for Christmas Day and I get on well with both of them.

We were discussing holidays next year as we’re trying to plan a holiday for my MIL birthday, and my BIL said to my SIL that they were going away next new year to which my SIL said “yeah but we don’t have to” and my BIL got a bit quiet and soon after left the conversation.

I then opened my stupid big mouth and said “girl you gotta go away, you never know!! Wink wink, point at engagement ring finger”

A little later my BIL pulled me aside and said that he is in fact going to propose next year at new years.

Have I ruined it? Why am I such a big mouthed idiot! I text BIL to apologise but then deleted the messages because I didn’t want to further muddle, mess things up and now my SIL is questioning the messages and I’m just making it worse and worse!! I can’t stop thinking about it and feeling terrible.

I’m sorry this happened to you!
I agree that it wasn’t my finest moment, but I would never “keep going on” about something. It was a frivolous comment that was stupid to make. I would never ask about children, this has only ever been bought up by my SIL re kids and her timeline!

I can't get my head around any of this.

If you want to get married - propose. Don't wait a year.

If you want to get married, ask your intended. Don't tell an in-law a year in advance.

If you have jointly planned your wedding, arrange it.

Long drawn out indeed.

Too strange.

I mean to be allowed to book his holiday for 2025/2026 in 2024.

Op sorry I went a bit postal...family fall out today which may have brought many things to a head...glad you haven't gone on about it and your big enough to admit the error. He doesn't want to marry her. That's obviously the sore you have put salt into 😨

OP I literally don’t think this is a big deal at all, honestly wouldn’t worry! It’s not even like he is planning to propose on holiday. He’s waiting a whole year and doing it at new years. You have done nothing wrong, I think it’s so fine.

So he's planning on proposing in a YEAR?

Bollocks to that

I’d never thought it was that odd until you said it? They’ve been together since 2023 and money would probably be the reasons it’s not happening sooner?

That would explain having a long engagement and the actual wedding ot being till 2026. The ridiculous bit is that they are actually already engaged but she's still waiting for a formal proposal. It's just weird.

You don't need to worry, you didn't do anything wrong at all x

You haven't done anything wrong OP

It was a minor, well-meaning foot in mouth moment (in general, don’t start talk of rings or babies if they’re not yours - it’s just too likely that there are big feelings or tension involved that you don’t know about) but one that was best to just completely ignore and move on from. When he told you what he was planning the best response was “ah! I didn’t know, I’ll be sure not to say anything else to clue her in. Let me know if you need any help with arrangements.” Done - no more discussion unless one of them brings it up directly. Definitely no texts.

Honestly, just let it drop - it's not like you told her he'd told you he'd be proposing and she might well forget it before then.

He might want to save for a ring (I know people propose with a ring that cost a tenner and stay married a lifetime but that may not be what this couple wants).

Don't send any texts or mention it again - let it go. It wasn't that bad!