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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have 3 rounds of presents for my child?

50 replies

phoenixbiscuits · 26/12/2024 12:30

Not excessive amounts of gifts, but in my extended family she is the only child so most adults stay up late drinking and don't want to be up early to open presents with her. Fine by me, it would be nice if they were interested but I'm not going to demand they get up early.

So the routine is, Father Christmas leaves a stocking in our bedroom (we share the spare double bed here) which contains some breakfast bits and a toy/book. Opened first thing.

He then leaves a few gifts by the fireplace, so we can go downstairs, see that he's been, and open the gifts. Then play with them for a while. Pretty low key.

Then, when everyone is up and ready to exchange gifts with each other, she can open gifts from the family while everyone else opens theirs.

I don't think this is over complicated but I have been criticised. But the only other options are letting her open all her presents alone, or making her wait until everyone is up, which is going to be 11am earliest.

OP posts:
ThatMauveRaven · 26/12/2024 12:31

I’d say that the adults need to get their priorities straight, OP. I’d be having a serious word.

Barney16 · 26/12/2024 12:32

I think that sounds eminently sensible and very nice.

Fahdidahlia · 26/12/2024 12:33

Absolutely fine and nothing wrong with that. She gets the magic, adults get a family event and you get to really be a part of all the memories just how you want to make them!

Hskatkat · 26/12/2024 12:33

I think that works well for everyone.

KarmenPQZ · 26/12/2024 12:35

Just let her open presents alone. It gets a little bit boring for the adults watching a child open presents after present after present anyway.

or often as a parent I’ve been a bit unhappy with child’s opening technique / gratitude… eg my child has wanted to pay for what’s felt like hours with a crappy present that they got from say nursery Santa but shown no interest with grannies present who’s sat there waiting for her to gush over it. It’s about the child so just let them open at their pace and play with what they want when.

user1471556818 · 26/12/2024 12:35

It's working for you all and that's the main thing .A huge pile of presents in one go can be overwhelming I feel..So it's nice to split it up

MrsSkylerWhite · 26/12/2024 12:35

Sounds just about perfect to me,

Now that ours are adults, we’re not keen on the idea of being woken at 5am to watch our grandson open gifts. So, mum and dad do that with him at home then they come to us at a sensible time a day or two later to exchange gifts.

DappledThings · 26/12/2024 12:35

Sounds fine, if a bit regimented. Can't you just go with the flow? Wr have stockings as soon as they wake up, which is all that Father Christmas brings. Had a few tree presents about 10ish. Took a break when we felt like it. Did the rest after a snack and a drink about noon.

No timetable. But no unsupervised opening either.

RandomMess · 26/12/2024 12:37

Pretty normal really.

I think it's far nicer to open gifts with the people they are from.

Ponoka7 · 26/12/2024 12:38

ThatMauveRaven · 26/12/2024 12:31

I’d say that the adults need to get their priorities straight, OP. I’d be having a serious word.

It's for every adult to set their priorities. Christmas is time off work, a lie in the ability to have a drink, because no driving.
@phoenixbiscuits what you are doing is fine. It sounds as though it suits everyone. It's no different than if they were visiting, you wouldn't wait for them to turn up.

MauveVelcro · 26/12/2024 12:38

Do whatever works for you. We have four separate 'rounds' of gifts.

  • FC. Stockings and FC sacks opened immediately on waking (early). Then breakfast, coffee, short break and tidy up.
  • About 9.30am. Tree gifts. From us to dc, dh and I to each other, gifts from nan/Auntie who we don't see Xmas Day.
  • About 11.30am. MIL, BIL and his family arrive. We all sit and exchange gifts from dh's side of the family.

My family (mum, sisters, BIL) arrive about 12.30. Lunch at 2pm for 15. DH's side of the family leave about 4.30pm.

  • 5pm ish. Gift opening with my side of the family. Then they leave after about an hour.

It works well for us. It means it's nicely spread, we spend time separately with dh's and my sides of the family for gifts so there's no competition etc (between MIL and my mum 😂) and no one gets overwhelmed with too much at once.

GrazeConcern · 26/12/2024 12:40

Sounds nice, my dc are older and are lucky to get a lot of gifts. We do Santa first thing, then presents with whoever we go to lunch with, then Christmas Day night presents from ‘us’ and any other gifts that have been sent. Sometimes it even spills into Boxing Day. I find it a lovely way to do it and DC are now 9 and 12 and have never moaned.

Original poster
phoenixbiscuits · 26/12/2024 12:41

KarmenPQZ · 26/12/2024 12:35

Just let her open presents alone. It gets a little bit boring for the adults watching a child open presents after present after present anyway.

or often as a parent I’ve been a bit unhappy with child’s opening technique / gratitude… eg my child has wanted to pay for what’s felt like hours with a crappy present that they got from say nursery Santa but shown no interest with grannies present who’s sat there waiting for her to gush over it. It’s about the child so just let them open at their pace and play with what they want when.

She actually has less presents overall than some of the adults anyway. And even if she did have piles of presents then she would be opening them first thing alone.

My family don't expect gushing praise from her, she's not that kind of child.

I just want her to participate in the group opening and also not have to wait for hours bored out of her mind. My family want to see her opening the gifts from them. It's not actually all that different to waking up at home, then going to family in the afternoon and doing gifts from them (but it's a long journey)

OP posts:
Original poster
phoenixbiscuits · 26/12/2024 12:44

DappledThings · 26/12/2024 12:35

Sounds fine, if a bit regimented. Can't you just go with the flow? Wr have stockings as soon as they wake up, which is all that Father Christmas brings. Had a few tree presents about 10ish. Took a break when we felt like it. Did the rest after a snack and a drink about noon.

No timetable. But no unsupervised opening either.

It's not regimented. Stocking first thing, we get up after a bit and do the father Christmas thing. Then do family presents when it suits everyone else.

OP posts:
SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 26/12/2024 12:46

It sounds a good solution. Hs someone criticised it?

RandomMess · 26/12/2024 12:46

We did FC and gifts from us in the morning.

Big family day with in laws from midday so all those gifts together.

Boxing Day gifts from everyone else from under our tree at home.

Even now mine like spreading it out over a few days.

LizFromMotherland · 26/12/2024 12:48

I don't really understand why you'd let the criticism bother you?

You're a parent, we get criticised for all sorts of things and always will.

If your kid had a good time that's the only thing that matters 🤷‍♂️

RaininSummer · 26/12/2024 12:48

It sounds a lovely way to do it. Everybody gets their Christmas. I don't see why non parent adults should have to get up early unless they want to watch the Santa part.

MangshorJhol · 26/12/2024 12:48

We do the same. Opening the stockings lets them play with a few things or scribble in their new diary while I sort out some breakfast. Then come down and open FC’s present (always just one), and then eat breakfast and then open the rest.

JMSA · 26/12/2024 12:49

ThatMauveRaven · 26/12/2024 12:31

I’d say that the adults need to get their priorities straight, OP. I’d be having a serious word.

They really don't. It's their Christmas too. Having a child doesn't trump that.

Original poster
phoenixbiscuits · 26/12/2024 12:49

SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 26/12/2024 12:46

It sounds a good solution. Hs someone criticised it?

My mother. She thinks it's far too complicated but hasn't come up with a better solution funnily enough!

I'm not expecting my cousins in their 20s to drag their sorry hungover arses out of bed at the crack of dawn to open presents. I wouldn't have appreciated it when I was their age! Still wouldn't now, I only want to do it for my child.

OP posts:
Original poster
phoenixbiscuits · 26/12/2024 12:51

RaininSummer · 26/12/2024 12:48

It sounds a lovely way to do it. Everybody gets their Christmas. I don't see why non parent adults should have to get up early unless they want to watch the Santa part.

Some adults actually did, and it was nice. They were all parents of adult children though 😂

OP posts:
SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 26/12/2024 12:54

phoenixbiscuits · 26/12/2024 12:49

My mother. She thinks it's far too complicated but hasn't come up with a better solution funnily enough!

I'm not expecting my cousins in their 20s to drag their sorry hungover arses out of bed at the crack of dawn to open presents. I wouldn't have appreciated it when I was their age! Still wouldn't now, I only want to do it for my child.

Show quote history

Oh, right! Well as an unbiased stander-by, it doesn't sound at all complicated to me. If you, DD and Santa are all happy your Mum could usefully turn her attention elsewhere.

Discombobble · 26/12/2024 13:07

phoenixbiscuits · 26/12/2024 12:30

Not excessive amounts of gifts, but in my extended family she is the only child so most adults stay up late drinking and don't want to be up early to open presents with her. Fine by me, it would be nice if they were interested but I'm not going to demand they get up early.

So the routine is, Father Christmas leaves a stocking in our bedroom (we share the spare double bed here) which contains some breakfast bits and a toy/book. Opened first thing.

He then leaves a few gifts by the fireplace, so we can go downstairs, see that he's been, and open the gifts. Then play with them for a while. Pretty low key.

Then, when everyone is up and ready to exchange gifts with each other, she can open gifts from the family while everyone else opens theirs.

I don't think this is over complicated but I have been criticised. But the only other options are letting her open all her presents alone, or making her wait until everyone is up, which is going to be 11am earliest.

That’s the way I have always done it - both as a child and as a parent

MargaretThursday · 26/12/2024 13:08

We have rounds of gifts.

If home:

  1. Stockings when they wake
  2. After lunch we open presents from people that are there
  3. Boxing Day we open presents from other people
  4. Tree presents - to be opened as they want, but approximately one for every day until they go back to school

If away:

  1. A couple of presents when they wake
  2. After lunch presents from people that are there, but not each other
  3. The day after getting home, stockings when they wake
  4. After lunch presents from each other
  5. The next day presents from other people that are left
  6. Tree presents - to be opened as they want, but approximately one for every day until they go back to school

Works for us.
Father Christmas agreed that he'd deliver stocking presents the night we got home if we were away when the children were little. It's great; we don't have to sneak presents into the car, and bring them home again. We ring a bell to tell him we're home again.