To have 3 rounds of presents for my child?

[phoenixbiscuits]

Not excessive amounts of gifts, but in my extended family she is the only child so most adults stay up late drinking and don't want to be up early to open presents with her. Fine by me, it would be nice if they were interested but I'm not going to demand they get up early.

So the routine is, Father Christmas leaves a stocking in our bedroom (we share the spare double bed here) which contains some breakfast bits and a toy/book. Opened first thing.

He then leaves a few gifts by the fireplace, so we can go downstairs, see that he's been, and open the gifts. Then play with them for a while. Pretty low key.

Then, when everyone is up and ready to exchange gifts with each other, she can open gifts from the family while everyone else opens theirs.

I don't think this is over complicated but I have been criticised. But the only other options are letting her open all her presents alone, or making her wait until everyone is up, which is going to be 11am earliest.

Absolutely lovely! What on earth are they criticising you for?

This sounds great but do you give them times they have to arrive and leave?

I agree with this but tips to shake off criticism and mum guilt please! Especially for single mums who don't have a partner to bounce off/be protective of us

We do similar although we do the first 2 things together and have a bigger stocking. We do the main presents at about 2pm so we make sure that the children under 16 have stockings with enough to keep them occupied until then.

This is basically exactly what I do with 3 year old DD.

Father Christmas takes her stocking from the fireplace, fills it and hangs it on the end of her bed, she brings it through to my room and we both open our stockings (my parents fill mine and drop it off the night before).

Then we go downstairs, Father Christmas leaves a sack of presents in front of the fire place and DD digs in and opens these.

Then get dressed, into her lovely Christmas dress. My parents come round around 9/9.30. Open the presents under the tree which are from me or extended family.

Church at 11.

Go to my parents from church, DD opens the presents there from my parents.

Boxing Day last 2 gifts from my aunt and cousin.

I can’t imagine many other ways to do it tbh 😄 presents all at once (so, 6am because who is waiting patiently for their stocking???) is absolutely crazy.

We opened a few presents each every 90 minutes yesterday. Took us all day. Playing/eating etc in between.

(ETA, that was novel for us yesterday but worked so well I think it’s a new tradition! Previous years and in my childhood it was: stockings first thing, presents either mid morning or after queen’s speech depending which side of the fam we were with…. Trickle of other presents Boxing Day to new year as we saw various other family and friends! So again, spread out).

I think that's pretty normal tbh. We always had stockings first, then Santa gift by fireplace, then waited till everyone was up and ready to open the rest.

11am is definitely too late though. My grandad put Hark the Herald Angels on the record player at 7.30am at top volume to herald the start of the day 11am is just rude IMO if you're with other family for Christmas.

We have stockings in the morning then family presents in the afternoon, spreads the day out a bit.

Hear hear.

”Christmas is for children” - no it’s fucking not!

Sounds fine. We do santa/ our presents first thing, then dh's family over lunchtime (we go to PIL for Christmas dinner) and then my family presents in the evening (alternating our house and my sister's - presents are brought to wherever we are meeting), so also 3 lots of presents. I don't see a problem with it at all!

just out of curiosity if they wake up so late when do you have Christmas dinner? Who does cooking ? And are you a host or a visitor?
Im trying to picture your routine and how does it flows with a small child.

Also what exactly your mum didn’t like about it? Does she want you to wait for everyone or wake up everyone at 8.30?

We have Christmas dinner around 3-4. A parent with adult children does the cooking. I am a visitor.

I share a bed with my child as I'm a guest and space is limited. We wake up, stocking, chill in the room for a bit until a reasonable hour where a few people will be up (inevitably those older than me) and I will go with DD to open a few Santa presents. Then, depending on who is working/visiting etc, present opening for everyone can vary from late morning until after dinner.

Pre DC we just did "present opening for everyone" when it was most convenient.

My mum thinks it's too complicated. Maybe she wants stocking and Santa presents together? But the stocking contains a reasonable breakfast so if DD wakes at 5am I can at least doze while she eats something sensible with chocolate, and play with some toys/read hours. And I want some excitement of going downstairs as well!

It sounds really nice OP and if it works for you, it works.

It’s fine.

We have always (when I was a child and with my family now) had stockings, then one present in the morning, and then the rest in the evening after late Christmas lunch.

Don’t be insane, what sort of a life lesson are you teaching a child if everyone has to get up early to watch her open her presents?

It's not a routine if it only happens once a year! You might want to do something different next year!

Breakfast items in the morning stocking though, do you wrap up bits of toast? 😅

I think it's nice opening presents throughout the day.

Is that not what everyone does? We do stockings in bed, then straight down to toys from Santa, then when family arrive, we do presents from them?

I don't actually understand what is complicated about it. Your mum needs to actually explain what she wants.

Sounds sensible to me, kids always open their stockings first in their rooms don't they and if anyone wants to see her open the rest they're welcome to wake up! Personally though we just have stockings and then all the tree presents. I find it a bit weird when people spread out the present opening with hierarchies of who the presents are from. When I had Christmas at my in laws you only opened presents from immediate family in the morning. Of course different if people are dropping in through the day

We have always done

stockings in bed with us
then we go downstairs and open santa presents that have been left in the middle of the room
then we have breakfast, everyone gets washed and dressed etc
the. We do presents under the tree which are from family etc

spreads it out a bit and also i dont see what is complicated about it??

Thank you, I can picture it now.
It’s like me the youngest staying at my older sister’s house and our parents are staying there as well and I’m the only one having a small child.
I think your routine is absolutely fine. I would rather expect grandparents taking more interest in their grandchild, drink less the evening before, wake up earlier and enjoy some time with a child especially if they are not cooking (and it seems they are not) So it’s very mean and selfish of your mum to criticize you. For what ? It’s obvious that a small child can’t follow the same routine as adults. You do your best at the circumstances and you are very considerate. So if they want you and your child there they need to consider child’s needs. It’s what families do.
By the way if you were visiting just for lunch it would be exactly the same: your child would open a stocking at home and some of the presents from you and then you would come and open presents from others. It’s not complicated, a lot of families do that.

That's how we always did it. Stocking and santa gifts then extended family opening of gifts a bit later

Christmas is predominantly about the child/children in my opinion. If they can't make the effort to drag their lazy arses out of bed at 7am for one morning, they are not very nice! Get up early, open presents. Then go back to bed if you really are that soft.

Breakfast items would be things like fruit, a baby yoghurt pouch (that doesn't need to be refrigerated) a breakfast biscuit, a bottle of water.

Not a cornerstone of a healthy diet by any means, just something that's not chocolate to procrastinate having to actually get up!