Lesbian friends partner - can anyone help me make sense of this

[sandrapinchedmysandwich]

I have been friends with Beth for a few years since we met at a hobby. She lives around 20 miles from me so we see each other relatively infrequently. Usually for drinks and dinner. We always have a lovely time and have lots in common. She lives with Lottie but I had never met her up until recently.

In the summer Beth announced they were both looking forward to meeting me for our planned meal the following week meaning she was bringing Lottie. Lovely I thought. It will be nice to meet her. And we all seemed to have a good night. I can't think of one thing I may have done wrong, I showed interest in Lottie's life, paid my way etc etc etc. I invited them over to me the next time to a restaurant in my town that has good reputation. Both said that would be nice and we set a date

That night never happened as Beth said Lottie had plans and she would come alone but then was unwell. And since then Beth and I haven't really seen each other and don't speak as much as we used to. And all this has happened since Lottie came into the mix.

Part of me feels paranoid that Lottie didn't like me at all and this has changed things, but part of me also wonders why Lottie came along at all after so long. I would not bring my partner to a meet up with a friend after all.

So what has happened? I just don't get it and I miss the easy friendship I used to have with Beth.

No they have been together for maybe around 10 years or so. They own their own apartment, have 3 joint cats and are generally quite settled as far as I am aware

I had a very good friend who I used to spend a lot of time with, me and DH used to do couples stuff with her and her DH as well.
About 3 years ago she left her H, both me and DH were supportive, I knew there had been issues in the marriage. About 3 or 4 months later she told me she had met some one and it was a woman.
We met this woman and got on well with her (I thought) but gradually my friend pulled away and also started to pull away from her DD - as soon as her DD started Uni she basically decided her parenting was over too.
I see my friend every few months but her and her partner only seem to spend time with other lesbians, makes me sad but its up to her.

Jealousy is always assigned to women as a motive, but in this case, I think it's probably true.

I think you were right to highlight the same sex relationship - even though you are straight. Lottie is fearful of Beth being attracted to you or an affair.

If they were a straight couple and Beth was Ben then Lottie would likely be immediately wary of you - there are regular threads on MN about this situation with heterosexual couples. Lottie may have wanted to gauge Beth's behaviour with you and now suspects she's attracted to you, so wants to shut down the friendship.

I really hope this isn't what has happened as I am no threat and we have never behaved inappropriately. But I guess I can't gauge feelings and Lottie knows Beth best. I think I am usually pretty good at picking up on when someone likes me but there is a possibility I have missed something. The Ben analogy is a good one.