Toddler kicking my seat at theatre

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Went with my DD14 to our local theatre on Xmas eve. A yearly tradition since my DD was 4, a lovely Xmas themed play.

This time, behind my seat was sat a mum with her toddler DD2 on her lap. In the few minutes before the play started, the toddler was kicking my seat. My hair is long and she managed to kick and drag my hair with her foot along the back of the seat and I yelped ouch and turned around, which was noted by the mum. I thought with this would be the end of the kicking.

However much of the first half of the show (approx 1 hour), the toddler was kicking the back of my seat. I wasn't able to relax, I tied my hair up, and sat forward a little as I was worried that I'd get kicked on the back of my head. I didn't say anything to the mum as I thought she would stop her DD kicking and also didn't want to create a bad atmosphere.

The toddler was rather unsettled in the second half and began to cry quite loudly, lots of unhappy looks from others in the audience, so her mum took her outside and didn't return. I was able to sit back and relax at this point and this made me think maybe I should have said something earlier, asking the mum to stop her toddler kicking my seat. However, in 10 years of going to family Xmas performances at this theatre, I have never experienced this. I could also see this was a mum trying to do something nice on Xmas eve with her toddler DD.

So my AIBU:

YABU: If you wanted the child not to kick your seat you should have said something to the parent.

YANBU: You shouldn't have to ask a parent to stop their toddler kicking your seat, it's the parent's responsibility and normal theatre etiquette.

Genuinely interested to hear what others would have done!

I went to a concert recently and there was a lad, aged about 16/17, sat behind me who was so obnoxious and kept knocking his knee off my seat. How I didn't knock him out is beyond me as I'm 9 months pregnant😅 there was a child sat infront of us, aged about 6, who behaved excellently.

Why exactly would knowing the other woman had a shit evening help op?

I went to see 'A School for Scandal' with a group of student friends when I was at university. There were two girls of about 16 sitting in front of us who were jigging about, giggling, and whispering and generally being annoying. My friend solemnly intoned 'Please respect the play' at them. They turned around and were so disconcerted at being told off by a 19 year old punk with spiky hair that they were silent for the rest of the performance.

Fortunately my DD and I still enjoyed our Xmas eve outing. I actually would have loved for the mum and toddler to enjoy the show too! I certainly wasn't quietly fuming in my seat. Was kicking myself 😄 afterwards for not saying something.

Agree, if the child had their own seat, they may have managed better. It wasn't a panto. There is another local theatre that does shows specifically for toddlers, where they are free to move around and make some noise.

Mention of my hair dangling into their space has made me laugh! My hair is a few inches below my shoulders (I'm no Rapunzel) and was skimming the top of the back of my seat, in what I assume was my space. The toddler managed to trap and pull my hair as her feet were stretched out in front of her, kicking my seat. I've never thought to tuck my hair in front of my seat in public areas like theatres, cinemas, buses etc before and never had any problem.

Thanks for sharing your experiences and views! Also agree, it would have been good to model making a polite request in this situation to my teenage DD.

You shouldn’t have to say something but you really should have when it was clear nothing would otherwise happen.

Once, I was in a cinema and a child around 6-7 was repeatedly kicking my seat. It was quite clear what she was doing but the parents did nothing. I turned around, looked the child in the eyes, and said very firmly, ‘you are kicking the back of my seat and it’s not very polite. Please stop. Thank you.’

The child stopped for ages, then started again a little later. This time her parents stopped her.