Annoyed that friend just told us to be punctual for dinner

[Anuta77]

I just read her message and I think I'm dreaming.

It's a couple with kids who is inviting us for dinner. Initially I wanted to invite them and other people and contacted her to ask about her schedule as she's a nurse with strange working schedule and suddenly she decided to host instead. Well, ok.

So I asked her what to bring and talked about a recipe I wanted to try that could compliment her turkey. And suddenly I'm seeing that she tells me to come at 15h and be punctual so we can spend more time together.

It's funny because they are not particularly punctual (not to generalize, but they are latin and it's not rare that they are at least 30 min late) and typically our gatherings were never so formal. I'm kind of turned off.

I would just see it as her confirming that she wants you to come at the start time, not a bit later, because she wants to spend time with you. Not a dig or an insult. Often a plan will be made and people will come later, at 'around' the time, so sounds like she was just clarifying.

I honestly don't see anything wrong in that

It's not a big deal. I wouldn't give it any other thought other than I need to make sure I'm on time.

My husband is Latino. He swings between being early / on time / having no idea what time it is / being on time but forgetting something so ending up very late.

i can’t believe you’re annoyed by this.

hows her English ? Maybe her intention is about maximising time together but she’s used words that you’ve taken in a very English way.

or maybe she’s trying to be less Latino and she’s trying to say she’s putting effort into getting ready on time.

also - are you sure she’s Latina if she’s cooking turkey??!?!!!

either way. Stop being so focused on this and go and have a nice time.

This is the kind of thing I would say to a good friend, along the lines of "see you at 3pm pls don't be late we NEED time for proper chats before dinner" if this were a really good friend I may only message pls don't be late, the rest is inferred that I am really looking forward to catching up properly especially given how busy lives are with work and kids etc. Just a different perspective for you

I feel we live in an age of extreme social sensitivity and it is ruining friendships. Asking someone to be on time because you are serving a meal, or because they have been late before or because you just want to make expectations clear is quite innocuous behaviour. Ok the phrasing may have been too blunt, but bloody hell it is no wonder everyone is so lonely and socially isolated if this kind of message requires an internet analysis to decode. Please be less thin-skinned and more confident in your friendships. I have seen so many people fall out over this kind of nothing in recent years and it is a shift in our culture that is not to be welcomed. Perhaps a result of hair-trigger social media 'offence' combined with a lack of broadly understood etiquette has got us here?

I bet the tension will be palpable at this dinner party!! Sounds fun. Enjoy Op!

i can’t believe you’re annoyed by this.

where would mumsnet be without OP with skin so thin as to be almost transparent

Given this update, it's probably not out of nowhere. My friends who are habitually late would swear it's only a few minutes. It's not.

Is this the friend I find that she has become too complicated and Im losing interest and I dont know if IABU.

Why have you randomly resurrected a thread from last year?!

Because this op is very recognisable for thread after thread after thread about perceived injustices from people

So worth knowing when posting on this one 😆

Ok but I think people have moved on from this thread by now...

Oh I’m sorry!!! I didn’t realise this one was a zombie

apologies