Looking for ADHD Support and Advice – What Works for You?

[Ihavenoclu]

I’m reaching out to ask for help. I’ve been struggling with the challenges of ADHD—procrastination, disorganisation, and a sense of chaos at home—and it’s overwhelming. Paralysing

I desperately need order and routines to feel less overwhelmed. I long for peace—not just for me, but for my family too. I want my children to have peace and order in their lives, but I feel like I’m not teaching them this right now, and it breaks my heart. I feel like I’m letting them down.

Are there apps you swear by for organisation or focus? Routines or habits that help bring structure? Or even books, podcasts, or communities that have made a difference?

I’m keen to learn and open to trying anything. Right now, it feels like managing everything is just too much, and I’d love to hear what’s worked for others in similar situations.

Thank you in advance for your advice, recommendations, or even just words of support—it all helps.

Anyone?

The Organised Mum Method for cleaning. We have heavily adapted it for our home and our limitations but it works!

Body doubling

Gamifying things and using short timers to get you going. So set the timer for 2 minutes to see how much you can do in that time OR just to get you going.

Pomodoro Technique

As a couple, we play to our strengths so my husband does things that require more physical exertion and I do more planning, organising, managing money and ordering things we need.

Have you read ‘how to keep house while drowning’? This was a life changing book for me and really works.

another thing that works is putting everything in a diary straight away with absolutely no delay, checking the info multiple times and setting reminders.

Having a copy of my house key in every bag an coat.

Try not to leave the room you are doing a task in. If you are running a bath, don’t leave the room (maybe clean the bathrooom while you are in there?). Cooking/brewing a coffee? Don’t leave the room! Try and have someone help you set up the house so when you are performing a task, everything is to hand e.h all your tea stuff is together, all your makeup/hair getting ready stuff is together. You don’t go wandering off then forgetting what you are going/starting new tasks.

If you struggle with putting things away, note where you usually habitually chuck things and put the storage in that exact place. Make your life match your natural habits rather than trying to build fake ones.

Find out what motivates you and utilise this (for people with adhd, urgency is a big motivator. Make peace with the fact that you won’t start tasks until they feel urgent or build in external factors that make things feel more urgent e.g if I need to wash the dishes I challenge myself to do it in the time it takes the coffee to boil).

Focus on one thing at a time and be ruthless about interruptions. If my family ask me to help with something when I’m in a middle of a task I am ruthless about telling them to wait until I have finished what I am doing. It is the only way not to get distracted and overwhelmed.

be aware of your patterns. Personally I have adhd flare ups - times when I am more useless and scattered than usual and times when I am more competent and energetic than usual. Work with these patterns.

Respect that different methods of organisation and motivation may work for you. Don’t beat yourself up about not being able to handle things the same way as others. Don’t get angry and tell yourself you just need to ‘try harder’ when things go wrong. It’s a waste of energy. Sit down and reflect on exactly where things went wrong and figure out what you are struggling with.

Ask for help from people around you, if possible.

If people give you instructions, ask them to text them to you. There is even software that will break down instructions into lists for you.

Be prepared for people to get annoyed with you for trying out new methods/trying to fix your problems. My family are annoyed by my adhd traits but are also annoyed when I try and address my adhd traits by, for instance, refusing to be interrupted/refuse to leave the room during a task etc. it is almost as if they just expect me to fix my adhd by ‘trying harder’ and doing the same things they do (magically !). People just don’t get the struggle.

Sorry for the brain dump. These are just a few of the things that I’ve learned that have helped me and they have really only scratched the surface of my problems but I hope you find some of this useful x

Habit pairing. For example - I’m on daily medication (for life), but I was a bit hit and miss with remembering to take it. BUT I never, ever, ever forget to drink coffee in the morning (funny that, eh!?), so I pair those two things together. No sitting down with coffee until I have taken my meds.

Oh wow. Thank you🥹. I will look into all of these. 2025 is the year where I help myself and prioritise my own health and wellbeing. I am so grateful for these tios.
any others, please keep them coming

I had success with for a while with some Alexa routines played through various Echo devices. Like “Alexa, help me clean the kitchen” which would get her to tell me to do a couple of tasks within the space of a song, play the song, tell me the next task etc.

But then I had to move and I couldn’t get back on it afterwards.

Mushroom coffee. Can't describe the difference in focus it gives me & the effects were from day 1. I use spacegoods rainbow dust.

And if decluttering would help, I found the Marie Kondo book very ADHD friendly. She says treat it like a festival of tidying, none of this “just do a little each day” advice.

I did all my clothes in one day and it was such a massive hit of dopamine seeing the difference and feeling like wow, I CAN do it, which helped carry me on to the next category. Almost a decade later my cupboards and drawers are always tidy, even if there’s chaos everywhere else

Goblin tools - incredible bit of open source wizardry. It does a few bits, but it has a " getting started" ai tool. Put any task in there and it will break it down for you.

Pro plus ( easier to focus while alert )

Time chunking. Chunk tasks into half hour slots and do as much as you can in that time.

Honesty with yourself. If there's some things you constantly fall down on, just get rid of it. For me its cleaning. I have to have a cleaner. I'm ADHD, PMDD and work full time with four pets and an 8 year old. I have a law degree, but Sometimes i can't work out how to even wash up!! It causes me such shame, distress and exhaustion ( housekeeping in general, not just washing up 😂 ) that it had to go for me to be able to manage anything else that took executive function.

Psycho - education. Knowledge it power. Educate yourself fully on your brain and how it works in order to do the dance it needs you too 😊

Good luck.

I found fly lady to help (similar to the organised mum). When it all goes south, I keep a few basics in place (make my bed, clean sink and toilet) and know that when I’m feeling better I can build from there.

Diagnosis and treatment with methylphenidate changed my life

Thank you everyone for your suggestions. Please keep them coming. I am on the waiting list for assessment (had a diagnosis years ago but apparently I need a new one as its not 'in the system'. Just trying to find some support in the meantime.

A few Flylady techniques revolutionised housekeeping for me.

5 minute room rescue - which is: set a timer and in 5 mins tidy up the most visible mess in a single room: chuck out rubbish, hang up coats and bags, put dirty clothes in the laundry basket, toys in the toy basket etc. When my ADHD was at its worst I'd often find I'd become distracted after about 2 mins and totally forgotten I was supposed to be tidying but because the alarm goes off, you get reminded. If that happened, I'd just reset the alarm just for 2 mins two more times so the only time I had lost to day dreaming was about 3 minutes. I was amazed how much better a room looked after 5 mins. I started to do it often. 5 mins in each room. But by bit. the rooms get and stay tidier.

15 mins to 'company ready' - for this, you imagine someone is turning up in 15 mins. You choose a single room you could invite them into, do a 5 minute room rescue tidy up and a 10 minute hoover or mop; dust and polish, ending with creating a focal point for the eyes like placing a vase of flowers near a lamp or plumping up cushions and draping a throw on the sofa.

The other one is what she used to call weekly home blessing. It is one hour on a Saturday morning, divided into 6 x 10 minute timed slots. Spend 10 mins hoovering the worst bits of carpet you can see that need doing. 10 mins stripping the beds, 10 mins giving the loo a quick scrub and polishing bathroom taps and mirrors, changing towels and bath mats, 10 minutes mopping kitchen floor, 10 mins emptying all rubbish bins, 10 mins putting away laundry.

It's not perfect but by the end of a single hour, you have got on top of some of the major housework. And I found it had a knock on effect. DC would join in and polish the wood work or strip their beds, DH would carry on hoovering where I left off etc so after one hour the house looked and smelled way better and we'd put some lively music on and feel proud of our achievements.

All of these are quick surface fixes, but they are better than no fixes at all, and they massively helped me to keep on top of the mess while DC were young. With a couple of deep cleans every year in late Spring and pre Christmas, it meant the house never got too horrible.

@iamawarriorwhojustcrieseasily in terms of knowledge, which sources do you recommend?

I've tried fly -lady and Team Tomm. I currently have a cleaner who also sorts and tidies once a week, so I can ask her to sort out the fridge etc.

I use an app Finch to track self care including basics like bed making and tooth brushing.
I always book my next self-care appointment when in the current one.

I agree with understanding how your brain works and why to reduce the shame element. "ADHD is awesome" is an easy positive read with lots of more in depth recommendations included.

I've accepted that I impulse buy shiny things and have become much more relaxed about decluttering regularly to keep everything under control. Also decluttering special interest items if the interest has passed.

It doesn't help DH also has ADHD and DS. But if not perfect we do okay.

I am undiagnosed but accept ND now and trying to accept impact it has had on my life.
My house is a cluttered tip! I empathise so much.
I am looking at advice here and will try...

How to Thrive with Adult ADHD by Dr James Kustow. This is by far the best book I have ever bought and read. He has adhd and his book makes so much sense. Highly highly recommend

Noise cancelling headphones (and fun things to listen to when doing boring stuff).

I'm another big fan of The Organised Mum Method - I subscribe to the Tom Rocks service, where she narrates me through various boring chores AND I can work out in advance how long they will take!

I pretty much stopped masking, which gave me lots more energy. My entire office (and, I suspect, a really high proportion of my workplace in general) is ND so it has worked out quite well.

Exercise is good. But it has to be fun, and also feel a teeny bit extreme. I used to do CrossFit - now that I'm old and fat I do wild swimming.

I book a day off work every three months to do all the paperwork tasks I've put off, and also book a treat at the end as a reward.

I useTile trackers on my keys, diary, wallet, handbag, and headphones to keep track of them.

I keep a bag of huel and a shaker in my office for days when I forget lunch. When I had to wear smart shoes for work, I also used to keep an old pair at work so I could get to work on time if I couldn't find my shoes.

I but multiples of things like reading glasses, lip balms etc and have them in every room, bag and coat pocket.

I used pastel highlighters when taking notes.

I write down timed routines for morning, leaving the house, leaving work, coming home from work and going to bed. I used an app called "routinery". It will then time me from my starting point and if I over-run, it lets me take time off another task to keep myself on time.

I try to meet friends at locations where there is something to while waiting so that I can be early, and they don't get too annoyed if I'm late.

I also have timed and planned routines for common social events, and try to make plans that fit into those timed routines, so I know that if I want to be at the cinema for 7 I should start leaving at ten past six, or that if I want to be at a particular bar at 9 pm, I need to leave at 8.40. it saves me from having to do all the calculations from scratch and forgetting things because I'm so focused on the timings.

If I get stuck sitting down and can't move, I've taught my family to recognise the signs. They can then tell me in a firm, commanding voice to be stand up. I can follow a simple instruction, do I stand up and that sort of resets me so I can do the things I want to do.

If I'm travelling by train or plane, I will ask for help with connections and platforms. A friend who struggles more that I do books passenger assistance for train journeys to make sure she gets on and off the right train at the right station.

I struggle going to bed if I'm too tired, so I go to bed before I get tired and read until I'm sleepy.

For a noisy mind at bedtimes, I have sleep headphones and listen to the Nothing Much Happens sleep podcasts which stop me from fidgeting and having a racing brain.

I still haven't worked out how to do financial stuff, though, so I would really welcome any money-related tips.

I am waiting assessment for adhd.

I struggle with food organisation and cooking and house order.

I am hoping drugs will help.

My main thing is I need to change job so I am less overwhlemed/exhausted but that in itself is overwhelming 😭

I useTile trackers on my keys, diary, wallet, handbag, and headphones to keep track of them
We also use a great deal of these.

I have individual training sessions so I need to turn up and exercise.

I use auto pay for all possible bills.

I read library books virtually so that they get returned automatically.

I leave things in online baskets for while to make sure I actually need or want them.

We often use meal planning boxes and find they tend to save money as they cut down on impulse purchases.

Everything having a place in the house is also useful.

Thank you so much everyone for taking the time to respond. I feel like I let my children down so badly and I really want to conquer this for them. I see alot of app adverts on Instagram for the likes of Liven etc but they are all pretty pricy so I really appreciate if there are recommendations out there.

I too would be interested to hear about app that really make a difference. The Reminders app on my iPhone isn't enough as I just dismiss it. Would love something that makes an irritating noise and so could set different ones to remind me about different tasks to help establish a routine.

@Ihavenoclu there are such great suggestions on here. I am in awe of those of you who have implemented things and stuck to them. I suppose the payoff is seeing the improvement when they work. I have a tendency to get stuck on the best way to set things up, best being completely subjective, it then paralyses me and I abandon the project/idea.

How to Keep House While Drowning: A gentle approach to cleaning and organising eBook : Davis, KC: Amazon.co.uk: Kindle Store

this ^

Routine/habit
Coffee
Body doubling
fly lady.