To think MIL is being extremely rude

[glousy]

This year my kids are all elsewhere for Christmas, one is working, one is on a gap year in Australia and one is with her boyfriend.
We offered to come up to MILs and make her dinner and save her travelling, but she is being bloody well rude.

First - she invited 3 of DHs cousins and 2 kids to join us, so I've gone from making dinner for 3 to cooking for 8.
Second - last night we put some Christmas music on (think wizzard and wham) and she complained they couldn't sing, it wasn't real music and got out her little MP3 player, put her earphones in and sung loudly over it
Third - She got up at 6 am and opened all her presents while everyone else was still asleep. She's since complained non stop about one of the gifts
Fourth - I planned to make dinner for 3, she's now complained endlessly so I'm having to make it for 2 when no one else will be hungry yet.

AIBU to think she's been bloody rude? She's in her 80s but I don't think that's an excuse!!

Sorry all, I’ve reported my reply and hopefully mumsnet will delete it soon. Sorry for offence caused

Was the dressing gown a gift from you and DH?

I'd take it back to exchange but just get the thing refunded to you.

Finish lunch and go home immediately afterwards. The rest of them can deal with clean up.

I have read they can lose their 'filter' with age maybe that is part of it?

We gave ours a stocking which they opened early as well. Not had any mooing. yet, but last year I did get stuff returned to be as it was not the right colour (blue)! so that does sound similar.

I have escaped to the bedroom with a glass of Prosecco and left DH to deal with the cooking situation!

moaning, not 'mooing'!

Stop trying.
She’s ungrateful and you’ll never please her.
Allow her to ask for what she wants from this day forward, and do nothing extra. Not your mum, not your problem.

She sounds like a right minge. In your shoes I’d be getting plastered.

I'd be heading home. Tell your DH you're done, and that clearly the old proverb applies here: No Good Deed Goes Unpunished. And you can see why his siblings aren't there, and you won't be doing it again.

I'd be heading home. Tell your DH you're done, and that clearly the old proverb applies here: No Good Deed Goes Unpunished. And you can see why his siblings aren't there, and you won't be doing it again.

Leave the washing up for her to do! Seriously she’s so rude - I really hope once dinner is down you put your feet up with a drink!

She's a difficult old lady, but see it through, OP. Bite your tongue, try to make it work for everyone, have a few drinks, then vow to never, ever do it again.

Entertainingly, this post could have been written by my mother about my paternal grandmother. She had serious form for getting up and opening all her presents before anyone else was up, and I distinctly remember a Christmas about twenty years ago where she was given a requested dressing gown, only to whinge for days and demand it was taken back and exchanged becuase it was black and not navy.

The same woman often went out with one navy shoe and one black shoe becuase she couldn't tell the difference.

She may well have a form of dementia, I wouldn't take it to heart at all, I have an elderly relative like this. She is very elderly, she won't be here forever so I would just ride with it and overlook it. Change your mindset about it all. It's only a day after all.

You’re very kind op but I’d learn from this and pull back next year and do something nice for yourself this weekend 💐

Weird that someone in their 30s when Wizzard were around would be moaning they couldn't sing and it's not proper music. She's probably felt out of place all her life. What's she been singing along to? Phil Spector from her 20s? Elvis from her teens? Or maybe Bing Crosby from her very early childhood?

Daniel O'Donnell ... not my taste tbh!

Bloody hell, she sounds 100! We used to play him for elderly care exercise groups in the 1990s!

Well now, lunch will be ready when it’s ready surely? You could definitely a few comments in about not being used to her oven and how yours is much more trustworthy. She’s going to complain whatever you do so you may as well be inconvenienced as little as possible 😀

First thought was 'she'll be dead soon' but that's not really in the spirit. And these are generally the sort that live until 100. I think it's the sense of injustice and unbridled rage that keeps them going.
Just be glad she had the headphones in for Daniel O'Donnell. Even her singing over the top is preferable to the original.

You clearly haven't heard my MIL sing ... it was truly horrendous.

Next year I'm going to Australia!

She sounds mad!

But you need to share the cooking with her son.

I’d have refused to go when more people were entered into the mix without asking. Fuck that. She sounds rude and entitled - ie someone I do not need to be near at Christmas (or anytime really..) And I don’t care if she’s old, it’s no excuse for rudeness (unless you let it be, in which case, enjoy!)

This post could have been written by one of my sisters in law, if my brothers would have agreed to the plans, knowing what my ‘D’ mother is like.

Picture this, @glousy: today we got up in a leisurely way, took a sunny walk up the nearest hill with the dog, ate posh bacon butties, then opened our presents over a pot of tea. Now we’re relaxing with Baileys and tv, and I’m only on Mumsnet because husband has gone for a little nap. My efforts with dinner will be worth it because they’ll be appreciated and enjoyed, but if I were to ruin dinner (blame the Baileys!) husband would laugh until I got over it and we’d eat cheese.
My angry, unpleasant mother can shout at the walls, I wasted 45 years trying to please her before I realised she didn’t want anyone to get it right.

I don’t know the best way for you to get through today (going home sounds ideal, but it’s not always so easy), but promise yourself never again. And start planning your ideal, relaxing Christmas together for next year.
You’ve tried to do a kind thing, and now you know it will be thrown back in your face. Be kind to yourself next year!

I think I would laugh about this tbh. Getting up at 6 to open presents alone is honestly completely bonkers.

Just take it home with you and return it, sorted!

I’m ND and l have not done anything like that at Christmas (or any other day)