How many presents are too many for a child?

[AnxietyLevelMax]

one child only so far - 4 yrs old (currently pregnant, so next year wont be able to afford as much for two , specially on maternity pay). I know we got a lot - about 8-9 gifts, some of them bigger and few small ones. Family member is making me feel bad about it and now i am questioning myself if we (parents) are being silly and spoiling our child
I carefully buy gifts for a few months before Christmas if the thing i want is on sale etc so the cost is spread over 5 months or so and by no means i am well off but understand i am still in more fortunate position than others, i dont mean to upset anyone by my post

aibu - its too much
not aibu - its fine

Just to add - child has turned 4 just recently and gifts are toys, not much of “educational” stuff

It's a great idea to spread the cost this way and 5-6 presents is fine.

Unless you’re actively asking and expecting other people to purchase the gifts, it’s really no one else’s business what you get for your child/ren, how much it costs or how many gift they get. We buy all through the year, it spreads out the cost but it does mean we probably do end up giving more than if we tried to buy everything in Nov/Dec I guess. You have the whole year to instil good values in your children, a generous Christmas in and of itself is not going to spoil them.

Of course you shouldn’t feel bad!
They’re your child - if you wanted to buy them 40 presents that’s up to you, not anybody else.

Thank you. If i hear one more comment i might actually use what you just said @Shellybeans about installing good values for the whole year.

One day a year does not and cannot make a child spoilt, whether they get 5 presents or 50. It's what you do the other 364 that matters.

Personally our two have loads to open, we just enjoy Christmas, enjoy giving presents, they're nice, kind, caring kids, and Christmas is a big thing in our house. I don't worry about it. They enjoy it, we enjoy it, that's all that matters to us.

I do 3 wrapped gifts per child. Each gift can contain 1-5 items. But with a large family it makes not every being happy and everyone is equal.

If you can afford it it's not excessive (and I appreciate that your post is tactfully worded, as of course this is a difficult topic for some).

Lots of people would love to be in a position to give their child this many gifts but sadly can't, so if you can do it, why wouldn't you? We all love our kids, and we love seeing them happy. I would happily go without things I want to be able to give my daughter a really great Christmas - she is my main priority in life!

All I would say I, you may find that if there are too many at once he gets a bit overwhelmed? So maybe just give him a few at a time and then come back then come back to it later. It was a tip somebody gave me and it actually stretched out the fun of the gifts a lot more when DD was little.

And on that note, I have just decided to do the same for myself, and open one of my gifts now! (DD at her dad's this year and I am alone in the house right now).

Merry Christmas everyone!

I'm not sure who is feeling the need to tell you that you're spoiling your child, but ignore them.
Merry Christmas @Ilovelurchers - and everyone

I think lots of presents is more of an issue at this kind of age than older because young kids can get overwhelmed so you might want to spread it out throughout the day / over a couple of days.

Are they also getting presents from family / friends?

I don't think the number sounds unusual. But it depends what the gifts are as to whether it's excessive - a fully kitted out dolls house, motorised ride in car, bike, toy kitchen with all the accessories, computer, large trampoline, life size teddy and a large bundle of dolls and doll clothes for example is very different to a colouring book, pack of crayons, stickers, some bubble bath, a chocolate orange, pair of pyjamas, socks and a doll.

I watch my money v closely. If you look at us, we have a nice lifestyle, but I have a super tight grip on finances. Christmas is the one time I loosen off a bit.

We bought each child one present. But Santa filled a stocking, and a sack and both dc have items under the sack that didn't fit in.

I buy and save all year to make it happen. I don't think one day spoils children and I refuse to feel bad about what they get. I know others with present mountains, and I think it is a bit out, however I keep that thought to myself.

People feel terrible when they cannot give their children what they would like to. People feel worried about how much is too much. But there is no right amount! As long as you can afford to, give what feels right to you and ignore what others do/say.

Thank you all. It makes me feel much better. I dont know why innocent comments of that family member always make me doubt myself and make me feel bad about what i do but i guess its another thread!
to the person who said it depends on gifts..completely understand. Some of the gifts are drill toy, walkie talkie, lego, hot wheels etc etc.
and to another poster who asked if he gets gifts from other family members. Not really as we dont have much family around. He does get gifts when in laws from another side of the world visit once a year, or when we go abroad to see my family which is much closer and those toys stay there anyway
anyway..off to see his reaction now! Dont think we can get any more sleep now😂

merry Christmas everyone!!

I hope not because I always gave my kids way more than 8!

Same! I’m not even going to say how many my two dc have..

Same here. Absolutely tonnes of them. It's one day a year! Spoil them

8 at 4 is fine because little children get overwhelmed and you don't have to go over that if you don't want to, and lots of people do the something yo read, something to wear, something to do ..... Thing.

But DD must easily get 20/30 things if not more. Not necessarily expensive things and often consumables like paint or other craft supplies to replace what she's used up in the year but she's the only grandchild in the family. I've always bought stuff when it's on sale and put it away for her. She only really gets gifts at Birthdays and Christmas and once opened when little I put some away to bring out on bad weather days during the year.

Children don't get spoiled because they have too much stuff, children get spoilt because they are taught to be ungrateful and disrespectful for the things they get, like if they break a toy on purpose that it's fine because they'll get a replacement straightaway.

Oh tell them to Scrooge off. We work so hard all year round and if I can afford to spoil my kids at Christmas then I will. You teach your children respect all year round, not just at Christmas.

There is NO SUCH THING
as TOO MANY PRESENTS!

Sounds like a totally normal amount. My two have similar. Merry Christmas!

Mine usually get 3 or 4 under the tree from us including usually 1 "big ticket" item; and then Santa fills their sacks with 10-15 smaller things. My parents, sister and SIL get them around 3 things each and a few wider family and friends get them a little something.

That feels like a decent balance - plenty to open but not heaps of stuff for the sake of it to find homes for and sit gathering dust.

Mine a similar age probably has 20 odd. She won't open them all today. Some are paid for by relatives. Some are small. Many second hand. They are not all from father christmas!

Due to when DD's Birthday is i use christmas as a stock up. Some are more practical gifts. Some are board games, or learning games some are fun. Is she spoilt, depends on what you consider spoilt. Shes extreamly grateful for each gift and at 4 spends time opening each and playing with it. So far shes only opened a stocking and her main gift. Often we open them over a few days.

My inlaws always got "how much have you got!?" Every single year so far. Even when there were 4 or 5 gifts and a stocking. This is when they often turned up with 2 giant sacks full for her themselves! I don't think they were that into christmas. I've learnt now to ignore it and do what I want.

I don't think there's any number on Christmas Day that is spoiling them. Ours definitely have way more than 8 or 9 toys all in.

I think letting them pick a toy every time they go to Tesco is much worse, even if they're small.

My DCs are 20 and 18 now and still.have loads to open every Christmas morning. Today was no different. No one else knows what we give our children because it's not something we discuss, it's our business and no one else's.

Mine are "spoilt" at Christmas, around 15 to 20 presents and then a stocking. They don't really get toys or anything else usually so it makes it even more special. They're not ungrateful or bratty at all!

I just buy them what they like and within budget and it might be 5, might be 20. Depends on age and interests.

However, I basically don’t care about other people’s opinions on how I arrange things for my family - DH and I pay for it and that’s that.