To cancel Christmas for 18yr old DS?

[Mothership6]

My DSS has been living with my MIL who is disabled for a couple of years now, as his relationship with his DM isn’t great. We found out a couple of weeks ago when MIL was taken into hospital with heart failure and given weeks to live, that DSS had been stealing money from her bank account on a regular basis. Whilst she was taken into hospital he had emptied her bank account of several hundred pounds and sold some of her belongings. He spent all the money on himself and his GF.

AIBU to cancel Christmas? We haven’t bought him any presents and said what we’d usually spend on him can go towards paying his Nan back. Others have said this is harsh?

He hasn’t even apologised and shows no remorse.

Report to the police. He'll do the same or similar again if the situation arises.

You're right in what you say but the Dob in bit..if he can rip his own gran off what chance do the general populace have from this robbing wee bastard.

No, you aren't. In fact, Christmas being cancelled should be the least of is worries. Is he on drugs? Because is usually why teenagers do things like this.

Hmm.

So he was kicked out by his mother for bad behaviour and you and your DH thought it would be a good idea for him to live with your elderly MIL instead?

Has your DH actually taken his turn at doing any real parenting? Because it sounds like something has gone badly wrong for this boy.

Personally I wouldn't unless his grandma chooses to. A criminal record will have serious consequences on his future. If I was his dad, I'd pack up his things and move them to my house and ask grandma if he can change the locks for her - he wouldn't be going back there to exploit her anymore.

He’s a criminal. And he stole from his own grandmother who was extremely unwell. That is absolutely fucked up. I would disown the disgusting little scrote and let the police know.

I was thinking it would depend how the conversation with his dad went. If the young man came to realise that he has committed a criminal act and abused the trust of a vulnerable person who loves him, and if he sincerely promised to immediately start working to repay the money and actually got on with that, then I wouldn't report him to the police. If he brushed it off with a token apology or made excuses, it could be time to report him.

Yeah this is psychopathic. It’s one thing stealing money here and there if in your dim 18yo mind they have loads and won’t even notice. That’s not right but it’s the kind of thing we seem to have brainwashed the youth of today into thinking - rich pensioners / impoverished youth etc. Starts with £20 cash back when doing an errand and kind of rolls from there. I can see it happening.

But to wipe out someone’s bank account of hundreds of pounds and sell items whilst they are in hospital with heart failure! Absolutely crazy. No shame. He has serious problems and this isn’t just a lapse of 18yo judgement.

Definitely police. He's 18 and willing committed a criminal offence against a elderly person. He should have a criminal record and consequences. If he was 11 or even 14, then not involving the law might be sensible, but he's way too old to be doing this as a silly thing, he's a very deliberate, nasty criminal.