To miss Christmas Days of yore?

[mainecooncatonahottinroof]

Until I was 43, my family, my husband and I spent every Christmas Day with my parents. My mum was an amazing cook. We had the best Christmas dinner. We literally left home an hour away and it was all done when we got there. Their home was festive and so welcoming. We didn't have to lift a finger because my mum did it all - she wouldn't have it any other way. Santa came to our house and also to my parents' house!! Even though sometimes our offspring preferred the boxes! Closest family for Christmas dinner and some wider family in the evening. Sitting around an open fire chewing the fat! A 'doggy bag' sent home so we could entertain the ILs on Boxing Day!

It's been nearly 20 years, how the hell did that happen! - and I still miss it so much! I've hopefully tried to replicate it for my kids but family members haven't been that close since my mum died.

One of my friends lost her mum this month and I feel so bad for her!

Anyone else?

Yes isn't it wonderful when someone else does all the work! I have a much greater appreciation of my mother now I'm a mother.

I never really had anyone do it all for me. That sounds really wonderful and lovely memories 😍

My mum is cooking for us this year and I do tell her that it’s like an extra Christmas present for me!

She was the family glue. My grandparents where the same

Same her

It's only now I realise the effort that was put in

Exactly @Rustyfeet. Someone has to make a big effort and if no one takes over, the traditions are lost.

I’d keep doing it for your children, OP. They’ll appreciate your efforts anyway and think of you the same way as you think of your Mum. 💐 We didn’t have many extended family Christmases tbh. My Mum was an only and my Dad and his siblings regularly fell out! We had a few that were enjoyable when everyone was making an effort to get along. 😂

Never had anyone really cook Christmas food for me I've always been the cook 😂😂

Used to love Christmas at my mums house. Would stay for a week and it was like a luxury holiday. The house filled with love and laughter. Makes me sad thinking those times are gone forever. Miss my mum.

I am sorry you lost your Mum OP. It’s lovely that you have those memories of her and such a testament to her as a wonderful mother.

I was talking to my three young adult DC about this yesterday. The loss of that Christmas feeling as you get older and the responsibility to try and recreate it for the next generation. Happens to us all.

Thanks to all the parents who gave us these memories. 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

I'm cooking Christmas dinner myself for the first time aged 49! My dad always cooked and my parents hosted a big family Christmas with all
the extended family at their house. We'd travel and stay for the week. Amazing memories for me and my (now nearly grown up) kids.

My mum died in 2020 and my dad lost the big house in tragic circumstances so being hosted there came to an abrupt end and I miss it so badly. This year I accepted it's finally my turn to host the in laws and my sister is having dad but I desperately miss my own family.

My mum passed thr baton to me in 2021 but she still comes over to help prep the day before and early Christmas day to make sure it's all OK and thst is also a lovely new tradition we have!

I lost my mum when I was 23. Christmas hasn't been the same since, and now over 20 years later, I don't care for it too much and find it very triggering. I feel your pain OP.

She did that until she died? We took over Christmas when kids born parents come to us they’ve served their time.

I too, miss the years when my parents did all the work to the detriment of their health, so I could sit around the fire pit getting drunk with family and do nothing to help

And the in laws getting a doggy bag

I think I know what you mean. I'm so lucky I still have my mum and she hosts me and my siblings. I treasure these days. I'm keen to take over hosting and try to create the magic in my own way too but I know it won't feel as magic to me. It's not just the work... While I hugely appreciate the effort that goes in to hosting, it's also wrapped up in being welcomed into your old family home and taken care of by your parents. There's nothing like it. One day the baton will pass to me and I will enjoy my role but it's not the same.

For me Christmas was always family - mum, dad and 3 big sisters. Only me and 2 sisters left now and I'd give a lot to have those days back!

Life is good, I have a lovely grown up daughter and a great (mostly) partner. But I miss those Christmases!

She was 62 when she died.

That was far far too young!

I've never enjoyed Christmas the same way since losing my parents. They didn't provide childcare and they didn't babysit ever because they lived too far away. We both worked FT and spent a fortune on nursery fees, and treating us to Christmas dinner was one thing they could do.

They would never have come to us for Christmas dinner either, even if we had offered to host.

I hope you had a tolerable day. I went all out for my adult children and other family members, but I am always glad now when it's over.

That's a bit harsh

Certainly in our family although my parents hosted and dad cooked it was absolutely not the case that everyone else did nothing. It was actually part of the joy of it that everyone mucked in and participated from a young age.

The kids/ grandkids always set and cleared the table and helped with the washing up and young adults prepped veg/ made drinks/ did last minute runs to the shop etc

When we got a bit older we shared the costs by bringing food and/ or paying for a shop as well and took turns being in charge of catering on the surrounding days.

My nostalgia for family Christmas past is not to do with being lazy but with caring for one another.

No, Christmas at our house (hosting parents and sisters) is much more fun.

Before my dad cooked Christmas dinner my granny did it and the baton pass there was kind of seamless. He just gradually did a bit more and she did a bit less until he'd taken over. I always thought it would be the same with us and my dad but you do need a big house and/or everyone living nearby to host a big inter generational family Christmas and we don't have that any more.

@ThePure Yes, even though my DH is from a large family, everyone ended up scattering for job opportunities so we have to get on a plane to see even one sibling. Plus more people are childfree nowadays so even large families can shrink significantly within a generation. Different times!